A Dance Club

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A Dance Club is located at the Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair (Disco Bandit).

A primary stat of 175 is suggested. If your main stat isn't high enough, you'll see the following message:

(It is recommended that you have at least 175 <mainstat> to adventure here.)

You find yourself standing near the doorman-slash-bouncer, a stony-faced pile of muscle crammed into a tuxedo two sizes too small. He steadfastly ignores you, though you're pretty sure he's watching you out of the corner of his eye. Fortunately, he doesn't seem to care how many ravers you beat up, so long as you don't get too close to the door he's guarding.

Try to get his attention

With six or fewer Raveosity:

You step up directly in front of the bouncer and nod a greeting at him. He silently inspects your outfit, then shakes his head, unimpressed. You start to show him some of your cool dance moves, but he makes a curt gesture indicating you should get out of his face. Now.

Grumbling, you stalk away, the jeers of ravers echoing in your ears.

With seven or more Raveosity:

You step up directly in front of the bouncer and nod a greeting at him. He silently inspects your outfit, and raises one eyebrow. You can practically hear the grinding of gears in his head as he mulls it over, and then he shrugs and politely opens the door for you. The ravers all make huffy and indignant noises, and you turn to give them a smirk and a wave before entering the club.

From the stories you've heard about the ancient Disco Temples, this one does not appear to have been altered very much, thankfully. In fact, though you were afraid that the Spirit of New Wave would have gutted the place, it seems that quite the opposite is true -- the magic that makes the tiles of the dance floor flash colored light has been recharged, the giant mirror ball has been refinished (you can see where many of the mirror tiles have been replaced), and the colored spotlights that hang from the ceiling to illuminate the mirror ball and dance floor have been modernized to permit them to swivel around to the beat of the music. You don't much approve of the exorbitant price of bottled water at the bar, but on the whole you're impressed despite yourself. Reclaiming this place in the name of the Disco Bandits would be quite a coup.

As you push through dancing ravers to the center of the dance floor, the spotlights wink out except for one white one that focuses on you. The thudding bass decreases slightly in volume, and a voice crackles over the PA system -- the voice of the Spirit of New Wave.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have an extra-special visitor this evening!" You look up to the DJ booth on the balcony overhead, and see the shimmering form of the Spirit as he waves at you mockingly. "Welcome home, Disco Bandit. Like what I've done with the place?"

"It's not bad!" you shout up to him. "I'm going to enjoy kicking you out and reclaiming it for its rightful owners!"

"Harsh! Didn't you ever hear of "Finder's Keepers", little Disco Bandit? You poor little leisure suit-wearers have been dead for years, you just haven't noticed yet. You didn't keep up with the times!"

"Let's see if you can keep up with my fist!" you shout, heading for the balcony stairs. The Spirit shakes his head and punches a button on his console. Ravers scatter as a siren blares and a door slides open, revealing several menacing-looking humanoid robots, shining with chrome and neon lights. They emit electronic growling noises as they block your path to the DJ booth.

Leads to The Nemesis' Lair

Leave him alone

You decide not to pester the guy. First rule of clubbing: don't annoy the bouncer.

After defeating the daft punks and the Spirit, but before equipping your Shagadelic Disco Banjo:

A niggling voice in the back of your head (that's me) reminds you that you're heading toward what is likely to be the Final Battle against your Nemesis, and therefore you should probably equip that Legendary Epic Weapon of yours first. Just sayin'.

After defeating the daft punks and the Spirit, and equipping your Shagadelic Disco Banjo:

You jog down the back hallway of the Disco Temple, and soon find yourself at the door of an ancient elevator. The door creaks open when you push the button, and you nervously inspect the interior. It looks okay, I guess. I mean, you kind of have to trust that the ancient Temple-builders knew what they were doing, right?

You hum along with "The Girl From Ipanema" as the elevator slowly descends. After a while, the doors open to reveal a natural cavern underground. You're not sure which way the Spirit of New Whatever went, so you pick a direction and trust to the laws of narrative.

Soon, the cavern branches into a smooth, almost glassy-surfaced tunnel -- obviously an ancient lava tube. It appears that you're heading directly into the heart of the volcano. On reflection, this was inevitable, really. I mean, you can't just have a Final Boss Battle near a volcano. It would be like having a car chase in which the fruit cart doesn't get knocked over. Or fighting crime in a giant robot and never using Rocket Punch.

You wipe the sweat from your face as the tunnel ends at a massive lake of bubbling lava. In the distance, through the shimmering haze of the heat, you spot a small island. You can just make out the form of your Nemesis -- at this distance you can't tell what he's up to, but 'no good' is a safe bet. You'd better get there fast and put a stop to it, whatever it is.

You survey the little stepping-stones that periodically rise and fall in the boiling magma, and realize that this is seriously going to suck. In fact, this is going to suck so much that I kind of feel like I ought to apologize in advance. Still, it wouldn't be a final battle without an especially fiendish final puzzle, now would it?


Leads to A Volcanic Cave

After defeating the Spirit for the final time:

The Disco Temple, sadly, is buried under several tons of loose mountain. You hope the Guild will be able to dig it out and refurbish it; you also hope to be far away when they ask for volunteers.