A Hattery
You step into a small shack filled with hats -- In piles on a table, on shelves along the walls, and, presumably, in the stacks of hat-boxes in the corners. A thin, bald man in spectacles greets you:
"Hello there! Welcome to Herschel's Derbyry. I'm not mad!"
"What?"
"Mad. I'm not." He looks at you severely over his spectacles. "People assume that I'm mad, just because I'm a hatter, and I must say it's a terrible stereotype."
"Okay," you say. "Good for you?"
"Indeed!" he nods. "Now then, can I interest you in a hat? I have an excellent line of old weatherbeaten felt fedoras, well broken-in, and easily scrunchable into numerous styles, glurp, from 'feckless itinerant' to 'menacing old-timey thug', harglarble!" His eye twitches slightly. You sigh and grit your teeth, determined to weather out this too-obvious comedic situation.
"Or, perhaps you'd prefer a classic black top-hat, carefully squashed into accordion-like folds and the top opened like a tin can, blerrrrrrrrrrrn. I personally reinforce the top with wire, to preserve the perfect rakish angle. Electric babies in my corn-cob!" He convulses for a second, then glares at you as if daring you to comment. You don't.
"And then, we have the old reliable shapeless wide-brimmed bucket sort of hat, perfect for keeping the sun and rain off, and with an extra wide band for tucking things into, such as a flower, or a playing card, or any little trinkets you need to keep handy. Teeth. Teeth teeth teeth teethteethteethteethteeth..."
You clear your throat loudly, and he stops. There is a brief embarrassed silence.
(You currently have X hobo nickels.)
| Buy a fedora for 250 hobo nickels |
The man puts your selected hat into a plastic sack and hands it to you. "I told you I'm not mad, right?" He starts to sing an aria in German, but you cut him off.
"Just stop it. Silly person." You give him your nickels and leave before he can perpetrate any more zaniness.
 | You acquire an item: crumpled felt fedora |
| Buy a top-hat for 150 hobo nickels |
The man puts your selected hat into a plastic sack and hands it to you. "I told you I'm not mad, right?" He starts to sing an aria in German, but you cut him off.
"Just stop it. Silly person." You give him your nickels and leave before he can perpetrate any more zaniness.
 | You acquire an item: battered old top-hat |
| Buy a wide-brimmed hat for 200 hobo nickels |
The man puts your selected hat into a plastic sack and hands it to you. "I told you I'm not mad, right?" He starts to sing an aria in German, but you cut him off.
"Just stop it. Silly person." You give him your nickels and leave before he can perpetrate any more zaniness.
 | You acquire an item: shapeless wide-brimmed hat |
| Leave |
You decide not to buy a hat, and ask the man to give you directions out of the market. You sigh and tap your foot through a few more wacky outbursts as he does so.
Occurs as a choice in the Garment District subadventure.
