A Palm Tree Shelter

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A Palm Tree Shelter is on the seal clubbers' version of the Secret Island Volcano Lair.

On initial visit

Shading your eyes, you peer up at the top of the palm tree. There definitely seems to be some sort of hut up there. "Hello up there?" you call.

"Good gracious!" you hear. "The beasts have learned to mimic the human tongue!" A coconut is hurled down at you, narrowly missing your head. "Away with you, foul creature! I'll not be hoodwinked by the likes of you!" shouts the voice.

"Are you crazy?" you shout back. "Do I look like a seal to you?"

A face appears amongst the palm fronds and peers down at you. "I will concede that you do not appear to be a seal, but they are deuced tricky creatures. It pays to exercise caution, you know."

"Oh, for the love of... look, I'm coming up."

"Very well. Bring the coconut, will you? I can scarce afford to waste them."

Grumbling, you pick up the coconut and shinny up the tree. As you reach the top, the man cautiously takes your arm and helps pull you into the hut, which appears to be a large wicker basket on its side, lashed to the tree with ropes and vines. The man adjusts his monocle and strokes his large handlebar moustache as he looks you up and down. "Well now," he says, "it does look as if you aren't a seal after all. They are quite unable to climb my tree with those flippers of theirs, though goodness knows they've tried. Sorry for the confusion, <old chap/my dear>." He takes the coconut from you and sets it in a small palm-frond basket as you glance around.

"Who are you?" you ask. "What are you doing here?"

"Phineas T. Leytonstone, at your service. As to what I'm doing here, now, that's a tale..."

"The short version, please."

"Harrumph. Well. Suffice to say that I was on an airborne expedition in my handcrafted mini-zeppelin, the basket of which serves as my shelter here, you see. While passing over the island I took a gamble on an attempt to catch a thermal updraft from the volcano, but misjudged my descent. Fortunately, I was able to steer my craft sufficiently to crash into this tree rather than the ground, thus securing a reasonably safe location to serve as base of operations while I repair the balloon." He gestures to a small pile of leather scraps. "I've been collecting hides and sinews from what seagulls I can catch, which should be sufficient to get me aloft once more, once I have a large enough quantity." He adjusts his monocle again. "And now, quid pro quo and all that, eh? What, pray tell, is your story?"

"I'm here for the seals," you growl darkly. "They were the scourge of my homeland, and now their leader, the infernal hellseal Gorgolok, has followed me to Loathing. It's time for me to settle the score."

"Goodness gracious indeed, that is exciting!" Phineas exclaims. "And what is more, I believe our meeting may be of mutual benefit."

"How's that?"

"Well, in my braver moments, fueled mainly by desperate weariness of a seagull and coconut-based diet, I have taken to brief and cautious prowls through the jungle for additional provisions. I have observed -- from a safe distance -- that the cave in which the adult seals make their lair is quite heavily guarded at the entrance. Even the mightiest warrior would surely be torn to shreds if <he/she> attempted a frontal assault, as it were."


"Well, I have noted that though the adult seals have a keen sense of smell, their vision is rather poor. So, given my expertise in leatherwork and the proper raw materials, I should be able to fashion you a costume that would mask your human smell, while simultaneously being near enough in shape to that of a seal to fool their eyes. You would be able to bluff your way past the guards and into the cave proper, where resistance should be rather less... severe."

"And what do you get out of this exchange?"

"Well, simply that you would bring me a few extra hides above what is needed for the costume, with which I can complete the repairs to my zeppelin."

"Hmm. That sounds fair enough. All right, it's a deal."

"Excellent!" Phineas shakes your hand with delight. "Now then, I will need hides of course, plus brains to tan them with, and sinews for sewing. Shall we say... an even dozen of each? They will need to be fairly intact, so please avoid slashing the seals to ribbons or setting them on fire or such. Oh, and we will need these materials from adult seals specifically."

"I thought you said all the adult seals were in the cave?"

"On occasion some of the females will leave the cave to check on their young. Perhaps you can attract their attention somehow?"

"All right, I'll see what I can do."

"Splendid! Good luck and good hunting, my friend." Phineas gives you a cheerful wave as you climb back down the tree.

Before collecting any items

"Any luck procuring the materials we need?" asks Phineas. "Intact seal hides, brains, and sinews?"

"Not yet," you grumble.

"Ah well. Keep trying, eh what? Stiff upper lip and all that."

Before collecting sufficient items

"Ah!" says Phineas. "You're returned! Let's have a look at what you've brought, shall we?" He inspects the dripping seal parts, and nods brightly. "Yes indeed, these are just the thing. We'll just need [some] more brains, [some] more sinews, and [some] more hides and we'll be ready for action!"

After collecting sufficient items

"Good show, [playername], well done indeed!" Phineas says as you hand him the various seal parts you've collected. "These should do just fine. Now, just give me a moment or three, and I'll have you all ready for the masquerade, as it were."

"Do I need to go away for a few adven... er, minutes?" you ask.

"No no, not at all. Just stand right there while I take your measurements. Do you dress to the left or the right?"


"Oh, and hold these brains for me a moment, would you?"


After a while, he holds up what is basically a large brown leather sack, and grins broadly. "Finished!"

"Well," you say, looking it over, "it's roughly seal-shaped, I suppose. Can't say that it's very convincing, though."

"Tut tut, my friend. You aren't going to a masquerade ball -- the seals have quite poor vision, remember, so the disguise need not be visually perfect. What's important is that you smell like one of them."

"It certainly does smell, I'll give you that."

"Precisely! Well, I must begin work on the repairs to my balloon post-haste. Good luck to you, my friend, and don't hesitate to ask if there's anything else I can do for you!"

"Is there anything else you can do for me?"

"Er... Well, not that I can think of, no. Not as such. Oh, wait, there is this..." He hands you a shiny metal seal figurine, which turns out to be much heavier than it looks. "I found it in the jungle near the cave. I was going to use it as ballast, but perhaps you can put it to a better purpose.

Sack1.gifYou acquire an item: hellseal disguise
Sealfiguran.gifYou acquire an item: depleted uranium seal figurine

Before finishing the Nemesis Quest

You climb up to Phineas' tree-hut. He brews a pot of palm-leaf tea and the two of you chat for a bit while he works on his balloon. After a while you decide it's time to get back to the action and he gives you a cheerful wave as you climb back down to the beach.

After finishing the Nemesis Quest

  • On first time:

You climb up into Phineas's tree, and the mustachioed gentleman greets you warmly. "Ah, my friend! How goes your quest?"

"It's over," you state. "Gorgolok will never trouble my homeland again; I've destroyed him once and for all."

"Smashing! Congratulations are in order, indeed!

"What about you, Phineas? I've thought you'd be out of there by now."

"Ah, yes..." Phineas sighs, looking a little embarrassed. "As it happens, I had totally forgotten the fact that this mini-zeppelin of mine generates its lift, not with simple heated air, but with hydrogen. Rather an important detail, what? Fortunately, I have discovered that there is a species of crab native to the local beach, which expels small quantities of hydrogen as a side-effect of its digestion, if you feed it bananas." He lifts up a flap of the leather balloon and shows you a cage full of crabs inside, surrounded by banana peels. "This is going to take a while, I'm afraid."

"Er... is there anything I can do to help?"

"Thank you, my friend, but no. It is simply a matter of time. ...Actually, now that I think of it, there is something. I'm going to be stuck here for quite a while with nothing to do. If you were to bring me more seal hides and so on, I could craft you some armor and other various goods; something to do to keep my hands occupied while I wait."

  • On subsequent times:

"Ah, you've returned!" Phineas says. "Let's see what you've brought..."

You have:

X brain(s)
X sinew(s)
X hide(s)
X claw(s)
X whisker(s)

Items that Phineas can make

Product brain sinew hide whisker claw Effect
sealhide hood
3 2 2 3 5 Combat Initiative +20%
sealhide leggings
2 3 3 5 3 Regenerate 5-10 HP per adventure
sealhide cloak
2 3 3 5 3 So-So Cold Resistance
sealhide buckler
2 1 2 2 1 Damage Reduction: 7
(17 total)
sealhide whip
1 3 1 1 2 +25 Cold Damage
sealhide moccasins
1 1 1 4 2 All Attributes +5
sealhide gloves
1 1 1 2 4 Weapon Damage +10
sealhide belt
1 1 1 3 3 Maximum HP/MP +25
sealhide snare
0 1 0 2 2 Stuns opponent
sealhide seal doll
0 0 1 2 1 Red Misty-Eyed (10 Adventures)
Damage Reduction: 3
+50% Muscle
+10 Damage against Seals
seal-brain elixir
1 0 0 2 1 Sealed Brain (20 Adventures)
All Attributes +25%
Make Item(s)
Phineas takes your parts and makes you a [item].
SomethingYou acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]]
  • If you cannot make any of the above items, the the following message will be displayed instead:
"Sorry, I cannot make anything with what you've collected."