Abcrusher 4000™

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Abcrusher 4000™
Monster ID 1487
Locations The Inner Wolf Gym
Hit Points 75% of Monster Defense
Attack Player's Moxie +3 (min 50, max 1000)
Defense Player's Muscle +3 (min 50, max 1000)
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum construct
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts chicken, cork, pulley, rope, spring, weight
Drops
sweatband, gym shorts, ankleweights, sweat socks, pint of sweat, Jerks' Health™ Magazine, Five Second Energy™
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Abcrusher 4000™ You're fighting a Abcrusher 4000™

This is...some sort of machine for...exercising, I wanna say? It's certainly got some tension bands on it, and some weights dangling, and several different bars and handles to grab. Or maybe that loop-thing you're supposed to put your foot through, then lie on your back on the bench and kick?

Heck, this might actually be an automatic laundry folder, for all you know.

Hit Message(s):

You grab one of the levers and pull it. It sproings out of your hand, then whangs back into your crotch. Ow! Ow!

You grab the bar and pull down. It goes down a few feet, then jerks back up, almost disarming you. Argh! Ugh!

You grab a handle and yank on it. A weight swings down and bops you on the head. Argh! Ouch!

You try and do a sit-up on the bench, but whack your head on the pull-down bar. Ugh! Argh!

You grab the ring-loop thing and pull. A medicine ball shoots out of the middle of the machine, right into your solar plexus. Eek! Eek!

You grab one of the hanging ropes and yank on it. A tension rod bends, then sproings back, whacking you in the butt. Ow! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

You grab two handles and pull them. A stack of weights lifts up over your head and then drops directly on top of you. That thing can't seriously be supposed to work like that, can it? Ow! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

You pull one of the levers like a born lever-puller.

You grab the bar and try to pull down. It doesn't move, but you manage to pull yourself up.

You pull on one of the handles. There's enough resistance to give you a decent workout.

You do a few sit-ups, stopping before they become throw-ups.

You loop the ring-loop thing around your leg and kick. It's not a bad workout!

You pull on one of the hanging ropes. It's a decent workout.

Fumble Message:

You manage to get into a position where you're doing sit-ups and pull-ups at the same time, using one of the loop-things and two of the levers. It's a great workout! (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Your inner wolf's skin thickens with your abs.
Furfur.gif +3 Wolf Defense
Sweatband.gifYou acquire an item: sweatband (% chance)*
Gymshorts.gifYou acquire an item: gym shorts (% chance)*
Ankleweights.gifYou acquire an item: ankleweights (% chance)*
Sweatsocks.gifYou acquire an item: sweat socks (% chance)*
Moonshine.gifYou acquire an item: pint of sweat (% chance)*
Jhmagazine.gifYou acquire an item: Jerks' Health™ Magazine (% chance)*
5secondenergy.gifYou acquire an item: Five Second Energy™ (% chance)*

Occurs at The Inner Wolf Gym.

Notes

  • Scales to your stats, capped at 1000, before Monster Level additions.
  • This monster cannot be copied.