Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

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Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

You belly up to the barrr (which is preferable to being belly-up at the barrr) and summon the barkeep. "Paddy!" you shout. "A Shirley Temple, please!"

"A what, now?" Paddy says, blinking audibly.

"You know, some grenadine and soda water..."

"Grena-what?"

"Forget it," you say, and sigh. "How about a Mountain Stream soda? Or even a Dyspepsi-Cola?"

"Mountai-who? Dyspepsi-whacha?"

"Look," you say, "I don't drink, okay? I mean, I drink, but I don't drink booze. Do you have anything to drink that's non-alcoholic?"

"Oh, aye," Paddy says, and vanishes behind the bar for a minute. He emerges with a glass full of something effervescent and murky. He hands you the glass, and you drink it. Er, the stuff that's in the glass, that is. Not the glass itself.

It tastes amazing! You feel your third eye open and eldritch, forgotten mysteries of the cosmos pour into your brain.

"Wow," you say, "what is that stuff?

Paddy shrugs, blushing slightly. "I'm not sure," he says. "There was this weird stain on the floor, and I mopped it up, and then I dipped that glass in the mop bucket."

You gain 60 Enchantedness.

Occurs at Barrrney's Barrr.

Notes