BRICKO cathedral (monster)
| BRICKO cathedral | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 927 |
| Locations | using a BRICKO cathedral |
| Hit Points | 100000 |
| Attack | 725 |
| Defense | 652 |
| Initiative | 200 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | construct |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | 25% |
| Monster Parts | brick, buttress, eye, gargoyle, nave, rectory, transept |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a BRICKO cathedral
You crawl inside of the cathedral. It starts to shake, plastic bricks grinding and snapping as it begins throwing pieces of architecture at you.
If you don't know why it's so upset, imagine how you'd feel if you were asleep somewhere and someone crawled inside you.
Hit Message(s):
It crushes you with a flying buttress. Huh. BUTTress. Ugh! Oof! Argh! Ow! Ugh! Oof! Oof! Ow! Ouch! Eek!
It defenestrates you through a stained glass (well, okay, plastic) window. Argh! Ouch! Eek! Ooh!
It drops one of its bells on your head. It may not know your name, but your face rings a bell. Eek! Eek! Ow! Argh! Ouch! Ooh!
It hurls a gargoyle at your <foot>. There's probably a complicated backstory to explain it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Ooh! Ow! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
A huge statue falls over and hits you in the rectory. Look, I know that sentence could have been organized better, but stop snickering and just look up 'rectory' in a dictionary, okay? Ow! Eek! Eek! Ooh! Argh! Ooh! Oof! Ow! Ow! Ow!
It hurls a flying buttress at you, but the buttress doesn't fly quite far enough.
It tries to defenestrate you, but you prefer to remain fenestrated for now.
It drops one of its bells, but you take sanctuary before it can hit you.
It hurls a gargoyle at you, but the gargoyle just hits the ground and wanders off to search for the bell-ringer.
A statue falls over and almost hits you in the rectory. Fortunately, you were in the nave when it hit the ground. Yeah, I don't understand that sentence either, but at least you didn't get hurt, right? (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: gilded BRICKO brick |
Notes
- If you lose the fight, you get the BRICKO cathedral item back, with the message:
- Afterwards, you slink back and pick up the cathedral again.
 | You acquire an item: BRICKO cathedral |
- Pufferfish spine has limited effectiveness against this monster, as it is softcapped at roughly 1000 damage per round. Damage above 1000 is severely reduced. A single spine would end up doing ~1100 on the 30th round of combat.
- BRICKO reactor is highly effective against the cathedral. On average 2 reactors used will result in victory. (but a few more might be needed if your luck is bad)
References
- A rectory is the residence, or former residence, of a rector. Duh.
- The miss message with the gargoyle refers to the Disney movie version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, in which the titular hunchback was given living gargoyles as friends/sidekicks.
- This is very likely also a reference to the infamous Monty Python sketch in which a church looking quite similar to this one attacks a man and a woman, complete with bells chiming.
