Beer Bongadier

Beer Bongadier
Monster ID	422
Locations	The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues)
Hit Points	210
Attack	180
Defense	175
No-Hit	190
Initiative	50
Meat	None
Phylum	orc
Elements	sleaze
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, head, leg, torso
	Drops beer bong, beer helmet, bejeweled pledge pin, distressed denim pants, kick-ass kicks, PADL Phone
Manuel Entry
	refreshedit data

You're fighting a Beer Bongadier

This is a ground troop in the Frat Boy Army (A Brotherhood of One, Bra) who is an expert at ballistic brewing. He uses beer bongs to wage chemical warfare with cheap, skunky beer.

Hit Message(s):

He whips you with the tubing on one of his beer bongs. Dude, you're so whipped. Ugh! Eek! Ooh! Ooh! Eek!

He crams the end of the beer bong up your nose and bathes your sinuses in crappy beer. Argh! Ooh! Eek! Ow! Argh! Eek!

He uses his beer bong as a slingshot and shoots a can of beer at your <lower back>. Ow! Ooh! Eek! Ouch! Eek! Argh!

He loads up a beer bong and blows into the end, showering you with cheap beer. Some of it gets in your mouth. Oof! Ugh! Argh! Eek! Ow! Ooh! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He crams a beer bong down your throat and forces you to shotgun three cans of sub-Willer-quality beer. You choke, gag, and get a little tipsy. Argh! Ooh! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to whip you with a beer bong, but you remain unwhipped.

He loads up a beer bong and blows cheap beer at you, but you let a smile be your umbrella.

He tries to shotgun a beer at you, but can't find his shotgun.

He tries to shove the beer bong up your nose, but you tell him, "up your nose with a rubber hose, mister!"

Fumble Message:

He tries to cram a beer bong down your throat, but activates your gag reflex. Man, you'll never be popular with the cool crowd if you gag that easily. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat