Beer Bongadier

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Beer Bongadier
Monster ID 422
Locations The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues)
Hit Points 210
Attack 180
Defense 175
No-Hit 190
Initiative 50
Meat None
Phylum orc
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
beer bong, beer helmet, bejeweled pledge pin, distressed denim pants, kick-ass kicks, PADL Phone
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Beer Bongadier You're fighting a Beer Bongadier

This is a ground troop in the Frat Boy Army (A Brotherhood of One, Bra) who is an expert at ballistic brewing. He uses beer bongs to wage chemical warfare with cheap, skunky beer.

Hit Message(s):

He whips you with the tubing on one of his beer bongs. Dude, you're so whipped. Argh! Oof! Eek! Eek! Ow!

He crams the end of the beer bong up your nose and bathes your sinuses in crappy beer. Ouch! Ugh! Ow! Ouch! Argh! Ow!

He uses his beer bong as a slingshot and shoots a can of beer at your <eye>. Oof! Oof! Argh! Argh! Ugh! Ugh!

He loads up a beer bong and blows into the end, showering you with cheap beer. Some of it gets in your mouth. Ouch! Ouch! Eek! Ugh! Ooh! Ow! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

He crams a beer bong down your throat and forces you to shotgun three cans of sub-Willer-quality beer. You choke, gag, and get a little tipsy. Ow! Eek! Oof!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to whip you with a beer bong, but you remain unwhipped.

He loads up a beer bong and blows cheap beer at you, but you let a smile be your umbrella.

He tries to shotgun a beer at you, but can't find his shotgun.

He tries to shove the beer bong up your nose, but you tell him, "up your nose with a rubber hose, mister!"

Fumble Message:

He tries to cram a beer bong down your throat, but activates your gag reflex. Man, you'll never be popular with the cool crowd if you gag that easily. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Beerbong.gifYou acquire an item: beer bong (19.4% chance)*
Beerhelmet.gifYou acquire an item: beer helmet (0.3% chance)*
Fratwarpin.gifYou acquire an item: bejeweled pledge pin (0.9% chance)*
Deminpants.gifYou acquire an item: distressed denim pants (0.3% chance)*
Kicks.gifYou acquire an item: kick-ass kicks (1.8% chance)*
Padl.gifYou acquire an item: PADL Phone (2.3% chance)*
You gain 45 <substat>.

Occurs at The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues).