Big Merv's Protein Shakes

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Big Merv's Protein Shakes
Big Merv's Protein Shakes

You approach a stall with a large sign over it reading "Big Merv's Protein Shakes". Inside you see a heavily-muscled man with a blender (which appears to be connected to some sort of home-made Bowflex machine) and several buckets of... well, something.

The man puts down the plastic fast-food cup he was washing and steps up to the counter.

"Hey there bud! Wanna try one of my homemade protein shakes? They'll make you STRONG! Strong like me! HOO-AH!" His muscles bulge dramatically as he flexes his arms at you.

"Well, what's in them?" you ask.

"Protein! HOO-AH!"

"Well yeah, but what're they actually made..."




You rifle through your pockets and determine that you currently have X hobo nickels.

Buy a shake for 20 hobo nickels. HOO-AH!

Merv pours some... protein?... into the blender, and adds some other things which may or may not also be protein, then straps himself into the weightlifting device. He thrashes around for a while, then pours the resulting mixture into a Quickie-Mart slurpee cup (which, thankfully, appears to be reasonably clean), and hands it to you with a "HOO-AH!"

You drink it. It tastes okay. HOO-AH!

AdventuresYou gain 60-80 Adventures.
You gain 200-400 Strongness.
(You gain 5 Fullness.)
  • If you are too full:
You're too full to eat a protein shake right now.
You can't afford a protein shake right now.

Don't buy a shake. HOO-AH!

You hear Merv shout "HOO-AH!" one more time as you wander away from the stall. Oh hey, you appear to have wandered out of the Marketplace entirely.

Occurs at Hobopolis Town Square as a choice in the sub-adventure Food, Glorious Food.



  • "HOO-AH!" is a battle cry, affirmative exclamation, and general expression of enthusiasm used in the United States Army.