Big Wheelin' Twins

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Big Wheelin' Twins
Monster ID 1241
Locations Twin Peak
Hit Points 105
Attack 92
Defense 85
Initiative 60
Meat 56-84
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
badge of authority, vial of The Glistening
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Big Wheelin' Twins You're fighting the Big Wheelin' Twins

You round a corner in the topiary maze and see two hugely fat children riding low-slung tricycles with oversized front wheels. They're both out of breath and shiny with sweat.

"We're not fat; we're big-boned," they say in unison. "And yes, we're reading your mind. We're not sweaty; we have the Glistening. And yes, we are about to run over you with our bikes, thanks for thinking it."

Hit Message(s):

You try to dodge one of the twins' attempt to run into your shins, but he knew you were going to dodge, so he corrects for it. Eek! Argh!

One of the twins runs his tricycle over your toes. Yeowch! Argh! Eek!

One of the twins uses his Glistening to convince you to smack yourself in the head. Oof! Ouch!

One twin rides by and clotheslines you with a meaty arm. It's like getting slapped with a side of bacon. Ow! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

One twin concentrates on running you over repeatedly, while the other uses the Glistening to stop you from dodging. Man, those hard plastic wheels hurt like a sunuva. Eek! Ooh! Ow!

Miss Message(s):

You think of a brick wall as you dodge the twins' tricycles, so they can't anticipate your dodging pattern.

One of the twins tries to run over your toes, but gets winded before he gets there.

One twin tries to use the Glistening on you, but it just turns into a flop sweat.

One twin pulls out a peashooter and tries to do a ride-by shooting, but turns too sharply and tips the trike over.

Fumble Message:

The twins ride at you, but one accidentally hits the little brake thing in the back of his trike and spins out, crashing into the other one and knocking them both to the ground, winded. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Badge.gifYou acquire an item: badge of authority (4.9% chance)*
Vial.gifYou acquire an item: vial of The Glistening (14.5% chance)*


  • This monster counts as a group (of size two). It takes manifold damage from area-of-effect skills such as Wave of Sauce.


  • The Big Wheelin' Twins are a reference to the McGuire twins, recognized by Guinness World Records as the world's heaviest twins. The book showed them in a famous photograph where they are both riding motorcycles.
  • "I'm not fat, I'm big-boned" is Eric Cartman's argument for his physique in South Park.
  • "The Glistening" is a reference to The Shining from... The Shining.
  • "You think of a brick wall" is a reference to the climactic end scene of the 1960 horror movie "Village of the Damned", where the main character thinks of a brick wall to prevent his mind from being read.