Black Crayon Flower

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Black Crayon Flower
Monster ID 1199
Locations Anywhere, with an Artistic Goth Kid equipped (after fighting a plant-type monster)
Hit Points 75% of Defense
Attack Moxie (cap at 10 000)
Defense Muscle (cap at 10 000)
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum plant
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts pistil, stamen, petal, stem
crayon shavings
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Black Crayon Flower You're fighting a Black Crayon Flower

A flower may be the most pedestrian and jejune thing an artist can possibly draw, but that's only if the artist is telling lies to soothe the conformist masses. This flower is a metaphor for the tragicomic bittersweet beauty of life's temporary nature, black because it is forever mourning its imminent demise, only appreciated when it is already dead but has not yet begun to fade.

Still, the infinity symbol made of leaves represents the possibility of rebirth, but is that yet another subtle trap, the perpetual agony of existence?

Hit Message(s):

A black crayon bee flies out of the flower's internal bits and stings you in the <foot>. Ow! Oof! Eek!

It grabs you with its leaves and pulls on one of your arms, whispering, "he loves me. . . he loves me not." Ouch! Eek! Eek!

It pricks you with a thorn, just like every night has its dawn. Wait, that thing doesn't look anything like a rose. Oh, well. Ooh! Argh! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

It invites you to lean close and smell it. When you do, the petals close down on your head. Man, it's one of those flytrap thingies! It noms on your head for awhile, before spitting you out and saying you taste terrible. Oof! Ow! Ooh! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to prick you with a thorn, but doesn't have any because it's not a rose. Somewhere, a cowboy is still singing his sad, sad song.

A black crayon bee flies up, but you scare it away, effectively cockblocking a flower.

It tries to grab you with its leaves, but you ask that it leave you alone.

It tries to poke you with a pitchfork, but you tell it to fork off.

It gets black crayon pollen all over you, but you're not allergic to black crayon.

Fumble Message:

It loses a petal, and frets about whether that's the start of Flower Pattern Baldness. You've never seen a flower have a midlife crisis before, and it's pretty entertaining. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Crayonshavings.gifYou acquire an item: crayon shavings (100.0% chance)*

Occurs anywhere, with Artistic Goth Kid equipped (after fighting a plant-type monster)