Bush

Bush
Monster ID	537
Locations	The Hole in the Sky
Hit Points	150
Attack	156
Defense	140
No-Hit	166
Initiative	70
Meat	None
Phylum	constellation
Elements	sleaze
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	berry, leaf, star, twig
Drops star, star, star
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting The Bush

This constellation looks like a berry bush, complete with starry berries. Which are like strawberries, but misspelled.

Despite how it looks, it isn't a bust of a forest spirit. It's seriously a bush. What? Constellations are a fairly limited medium for artistic expression.

Hit Message(s):

Insert political joke hit text that matches your personal beliefs. Ooh! Argh! Oof! Eek! Argh! Ouch!

It lashes out with a celestial branch and smacks you in your mouth, mouth, mouth. And your bung, bung, bung. Ugh! Argh! Argh! Ugh! Ouch! Ooh!

It lashes out and smacks you with a branch, then sighs and says "I should have been easier on you." Ow! Ugh! Ow! Ooh! Argh! Ugh!

Its berries glow brightly, boiling the chemicals between you and it. Ouch! Ooh! Ow! Ow! Eek! Ouch! (hot damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It's suddenly joined by a bunch of other bushes, all flinging their white-hot berries at you. Oh, no! It looks like this bush is the member of a league! You collapse, buried under burning berries. Ow! Eek! Argh! Ugh! Ow! Argh! (hot damage)

Miss Message(s):

Insert political joke miss text that matches your personal beliefs.

It starts to attack you, but you shout "Try to see it once my way!" and it pauses to reflect.

It tries to smack you, but you dodge and let the attack go by... glycerine.

It tries to burn the chemicals between you and it, but this is the cold vacuum of space and there aren't any.

Fumble Message:

It swings three branches out at you, but can't smack you with any one of them. Man, that attack was pretty bush league. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: star (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: star (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: star (30% chance)*

You gain 39 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Hole in the Sky.

References

• As indicated in the description, the 3 stars in the center of the bush bear a resemblance to the eyes and mouth of the forest spirit.
• "Insert political joke hit text" is a rather pointed refusal to make a joke regarding either George W. Bush, 43rd President of the United States, or his father George H. W. Bush, 41st President of the United States.
• The critical hit message and the fumble message both contain plays on the term "bush league," meaning "amateur."
• The miss message with "glycerine" at the end is a loose reference to the song "Glycerine" by the band Bush.
• The hit message "I should have been easier on you." is a reference to the lyrics from the song "Glycerine" by the band Bush.
• The hit message with "mouth, mouth, mouth" is a reference to the lyrics of the song "Mouth" by the band Bush as well.
• The miss message with "try to see it once my way" is also a quote from the song Everything Zen by the band Bush.
• The miss message referring to "burning the chemicals between you" refers to the song "The Chemicals Between Us" by the band Bush. It may also reference the biblical burning bush, from Exodus Chapter 3.
• "Bush" is a nickname for pubic hair, typically that of a female.