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Staves are melee weapons. Despite the generally Mysticality-related enchantments on most staves, the player's muscle still determines whether or not they hit. Most staves are 2-handed weapons or more.

Staves should not be confused with chefstaves, 1-handed Mysticality-based weapons which are in a different category altogether.

Staff-Specific Hit Messages:

You deliver a serious wound (to the tune of X damage) with your staff. You hope <it> doesn't get a staff infection. Actually, come to think of it, you hope <it> does. BOOF! ZOT! BAM!
You examine your staff to figure out which end is the business end, then you hit <it> with the business end of your staff for X damage. BOINK! WHACK! BAM!
You grab your staff by one end and swing it like a really unwieldy baseball bat, hitting <it> in the head for X damage. BOOF! BOINK! BIFF!
You hit <it> in the foot with the end of your staff, and when <it> starts hopping on one foot, you hit <it> in the other foot. <It> falls on <its> ass, sustaining X damage. KERBLAM! SMACK! WHAMMO!
You smack <it> upside the head with your staff, doing X damage and making a loud crunch. BARF! KERBLAM! WHAM!
You speak softly, then clobber <it> with your big stick, dealing X damage. WHAMMO! KAPOW! KAPOW!
You stick your staff between <its> ankles, tripping <it> and dealing X damage. KAPOW! WHAMMO! POW!
You twirl your staff around like a giant baton, and then hit <it> with it like something you'd hit with a giant baton, doing X damage. WHACK! POW! BARF!


  • "Staff infection" is a pun on "staph infection".
  • The attack message "You speak softly, then clobber it with your big stick, dealing X damage." is a reference to U.S. president Theodore Roosevelt's Big Stick ideology