Chef Boy, R&D
|Chef Boy, R&D|
|Locations||using Chef Boy, R&D's business card|
|Hit Points||0.75*(Player's Buffed Muscle + 5)|
|Attack||Player's Buffed Moxie + 5|
|Defense||Player's Buffed Muscle + 5|
|Resistance||100% physical, 50% elemental|
You go to the address on the business card, duck the receptionist at the desk, and follow the signs to the Research & Development department. You open the door and see a man wearing a labcoat and a chef's hat, a man with a disturbingly boyish face, a man holding two bubbling test tubes.
"Now we add a little of this extract from a beaver's anal glands," he says, "and voila! Tastes just like tomato paste, sort of! This will go great with our new line of 'hearty meaty chunky' ravioli!"
"Why not just use real tomato paste?" you ask.
"Do you know how much tomatoes cost these days?" the boyish chef says, sneering at you. "We have to keep costs down, and shelf life up, and that means more additives and preservatives!"
"I dunno; I've always been a fan of home cooking," you say, "and when I want ravioli, I just summon it from the aether."
"Ah, you're one of those backwards, Luddite zealots!" the chef snarls. "I guess our test ovens will be baking a fresh batch of whup-ass this evening!"
He pulls a boiling beaker of some chemical additive off of a Bunsen burner and hucks it at you. Whatever it is, it hurts a lot. Ow! Ow! Ow! Oof! (hot damage)
He splashes you with a chemical that smells like strawberries but burns like acid. Argh! Ouch! Argh! Ouch! (hot damage)
He splashes you with cinnamon oil. It burns! Ouch! Ow! Ugh! Eek! (hot damage)
He splashes you with something that tastes like almonds. Bitter almonds. Crap, that's cyanide. Ugh! Ugh! Argh! Argh!
He throws a heavy glass beaker at you. You go MEEP MEEP MEEP as you examine your new bruise. Ooh! Argh! Oof! Ooh!
He throws a pot full of boiling water at you, making your tender flesh al dente. Ooh! Ow! Eek! Ouch!
He throws some hearty, meaty, chunky ravioli at you, each one more nauseating than the last. Then he tops it off with a shower of corrosive artificial tomato sauce. Ugh! Oof! Ouch! Ow!
He throws a beaker full of some unknown chemical at you. Fortunately, it appears to be some kind of artificial sweetener.
He splashes you with a chemical that smells like a ripe strawberry. It's not half bad.
He splashes you with peppermint oil. It's refreshing.
He splashes you with something that tastes like almonds, but it's just almond syrup.
He throws a beaker at you, but you won't be his beakee
He throws a pot full of boiling water at you, but you use your noodle and dodge.
He stops to mix up some fresh chemical additives for the fight, trying to get something that smells and tastes like pineapple but turns your intestines inside-out after you drink it. Fortunately, he's not successful. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: experimental carbon fiber pasta additive (100% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: hazardous sauce dosimeter (100% chance)*|
Occurs when using a Chef Boy, R&D's business card.
- Cannot be stunned or staggered:
- Unfazed, your opponent attacks you anyway!