Crazy bastard sword

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crazy bastard sword
crazy bastard sword

This is the sword formerly wielded by a crazy bastard. He wanted to hit you with it, but instead, you hit him with something and took it. Go, you!

Type: weapon (1-handed sword)
Damage: 13 - 25
Muscle Required: 25
Cannot be discarded

Weapon Damage +30
+10% chance of Critical Hit
+6 PvP fight(s) per day when equipped.

(In-game plural: crazy bastard swords)
View metadata
Item number: 875
Description ID: 762223212
View in-game: view
View market statistics

Obtained From

The Sleazy Back Alley
crazy bastard (occurs ultra rarely)
Obsoleted Areas/Methods
The Raffle House


  • Pulverizing this item yields an ultimate wad in addition to the expected 3 twinkly nuggets.
  • On October 1st, 2008, after much discussion of the stainless steel shillelagh's advantages over it, this item's enchantments were upgraded. They were previously Muscle +10, Melee Damage +15, and 3x chance of Critical Hit.
  • Second prize in The Raffle House on February 12, 2008.
  • There exists a stuffed version of this item.
  • Before May 1, 2012 this used to give 7 extra PvP fights.


  • A certain type of longsword can also be referred to as a "bastard sword". A bastard sword is typically larger and is often referred to as a "hand-and-a-half sword."
  • The description text is a reference to the They Might Be Giants song Bastard Wants to Hit Me, "Some crazy bastard wants to hit me".

See Also


"875" does not have an RSS file (yet?) for the collection database.

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