Eldritch Incursion

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Where are the fissures currently? When did each one open?
Elfissure1.gif Elfissure2.gif Elfissure3.gif


Prior to Halloween

The first hint toward the Eldritch Incursion event came on October 12, 2016 with the week-long appearance of The Bookmobile in Market Square. It sold a skillbook which taught Eldritch Intellect, a skill that revealed messages foreshadowing the coming invasion and would later have utility during the event.

Instances of An Eldritch Fissure appeared on October 28, 2016 in Forest Village, The Nearby Plains, and The Wrong Side of the Tracks for even-numbered player IDs, and in Seaside Town, The Big Mountains, and Spookyraven Manor for odd-numbered players. Clicking on a fissure resulted in a number of different messages being shown, but did not consume an adventure.

On October 29, clicking fissures could launch a fight with an Eldritch Tentacle. There were a maximum of two encounters per day on the October 29 and three encounters on October 30; however, the Eldritch Tentacle is a copyable monster, so more could be fought that way. These events were announced in a trivial update: "CheeseCookie in /hardcore has reported fighting an Eldritch Tentacle somewhere in the Kingdom. Strange.".

Eldritch Tentacle This monster is a Horror -- (edit metadata)
  • Item Drops: Eldritch effluvium, Eldritch effluvium, Eldritch effluvium
  • Meat Drop: None
  • Monster Level: Scales to Your Moxie +7, min 20, max 400 • Substat Gain: unknownMoxie for No Hit*: Scales to Your Moxie +7, min 20, max 400
  • Monster Defense: Scales to Your Muscle +7, min 20, max 400
  • Hit Points: 75% of defense
  • Initiative: 0
  • Elemental Alignment: spooky, weak against hot and stench
  • Damage Resistance: soft cap

During and after Halloween

Elfissure1t.gif Elfissure2t.gif Elfissure3t.gif

More Eldritch Fissures appeared on October 31, 2016 (on Halloween). The proliferation was heralded in an Announcement: "Something horrible is going on in the Kingdom. Strange Eldritch Fissures are opening everywhere. Help!". From this point forward, Eldritch Fissures gave unlimited Eldritch Tentacle combats. These combats now cost an adventure, whereas previously they had been free fights.

There were two sets of locations which alternated having Eldritch Fissures. If the first set was visible, the second was not available and vice versa. Set 1: The Big Mountains, Forest Village, The Wrong Side of the Tracks, Market Square. Set 2: Spookyraven Manor, The Nearby Plains, Mt. McLargeHuge, Seaside Town.

The fissures in Seaside Town are special in that they include an option "Explore the Fissure Again" so location jumping is not needed.

Sometime on October 31, The Council of Loathing began asking Adventurers to summon help by using flareguns in combat against tentacles. The Council displayed a leaderboard of top flare-users, and offered the reward of an Official Council Aide Pin to those who fired at least 111 flares. (See Council messages for a more detailed account.)

After rollover on October 31 - November 1, additional fissures appeared across the Kingdom; for example, a second fissure appeared in Seaside Town.

After rollover on November 1 - 2 the Council flare leaderboard closed, but the fissures and other associated rewards continued to be available.

After rollover on November 2 - 3 Dr. Gordon Stuart, a Scientist appeared in Forest Village, asking players to gather data points by fighting tentacles with a Science Notebook equipped. Dr. Stuart also offered pieces of Eldritch Equipage in exchange for eldritch essence. A leaderboard appeared in The Museum, commemorating top flare-launchers and data gatherers.

After rollover on November 4 - 5 Dr. Stuart stopped accepting data and began to work on closing the fissures.

Around rollover on November 5 - 6 Dr. Stuart finished sealing the fissures, but warned that the tentacles and their mysterious master "Sssshhsssblllrrggghsssssggggrrgglsssshhssslblgl" would return.

Aftermath of first incursion

After the event, a few locations were altered, having been temporarily swallowed by fissures:


  • Around January 3, 2017 "just a lump of inert eldritch matter" was renamed "lump of basically inert eldritch matter"
    • On January 6, 2017 it was renamed to "lump of basically motionless eldritch matter"
    • On January 15, 2017 it became a "lump of kinda motionless eldritch matter"
    • On January 24, 2017 it changed again to "lump of sorta wriggling eldritch matter"
  • Dr. Gordon Stuart warned that the psychic noise caused by Crimbo was weakening the world barrier.
  • Beginning sometime around January 7 resting at your campsite would occasionally display the following message:
You are having that pleasant dream involving a tub of ice cream, a cordless screwdriver, and the meteorologist from the local station, when a large rip appears in your vision. A creepy tentacle reaches out towards you and a voice whispers in your mind, "Sssshhsssblllrrggghsssssggggrrgglsssshhssslblgl will not be thwarted. Open the way so he may feast...."
You awake with that feeling best described in dwarvish, "ohcrapthatcannotbegoodenfeelin".

Fissure messages

Prior to Halloween, clicking on the fissure, if an encounter did not occur, displayed a random message (note that the sub-messages to the "party line" message could occur more than once in a message):

  • A fragment of thought slithers in to your mind, "devour those of the light, feast on their souls, sate my..." You decide that backing away from the fissure is the better part of valor.
  • A voice slips from the fissure, "... my minions. Break through the barrier! Set me free!" You're not sure what that's all about, but maybe you'll investigate another time.
  • An overwhelming sense of dread overwhelms you as you approach the fissure. You back away, overwhelmed with ovewhelmment and overwhelming terror.
  • As you come near to the fissure a slimy tentacle, or a giant prehensile tongue, slides out and caresses your face. You don't make any further observations as you back away in terror.
  • As you examine the fissure, in the back of your mind you hear a whisper, "Come closer human. I wish to devour your soul." You decide not to go any closer.
  • The fissure is a slash of raw darkness that makes your eyes ache to look at, like a black scar across your field of view that still hums with the pain of the cut.
  • The fissure simmers with whispers, snatches of old faded songs, voices you half-remember from childhood nightmares, warnings you might understand if you hadn't forced yourself to forget how to hear them...
  • There you are, minding your own business, when some sort of creepy eldritch fissure appears. Examining it, you're left with impressions of fear, loathing, and struggle.
  • When you examine the fissure, visions of tentacles dance in your head. A whisper fills your mind, <a random Eldritch Intellect message>.
  • You approach the shadowy fissure and hear, no feel, a whisper in the back of your mind, "The light, it's so close. We will break through soon."
  • You can't see anything in the fissure. You can't see anything out of the fissure. You can't see anything.
  • You catch a glimpse of a wiggling tentacle dangling out of the shadowy fissure. When you look closer, it sinks back into the shadows.
  • You get close to the fissure and it feels like your mind is caught in some sort of horrific telepathic party line! <three random Eldritch Intellect messages> You back away before your mind is overwhelmed.
  • You stare deep in to the fissure. You quickly back away when you sense a shadowy figure starting back.

Council messages

By the by, Adventurer, have you noticed those creepy fissures? We've asked the Councils of neighboring Kingdoms if they have any information but we haven't heard back. Try not to fall in.
  • In the middle of the day on October 31, the Council message was updated.
This Incursion of Eldritch Horror into our world must be stopped! Nobody in the Kingdom has any ideas, so we must summon outside assistance!
Grab some of those flareguns that the pirates are always firing off and fire them off in battle against the Eldritch Tentacles, hopefully someone will notice and come to help.
Help Us <player name>, You're (One of) Our Only Hope(s)!
  • The following message was added if the player had used at least one flaregun against an Eldritch Tentacle:
X flares so far? Keep up the good work!
  • Reporting into the council for the first time after firing 111 flares gave you a reward:
Thank you for your service with the flareguns. Hopefully help will arrive soon.
Smugbutton.gifYou acquire an item: Official Council Aide Pin
  • After rollover on October 31, the message was:
Is it just us or are there even more fissures today? The barrier between worlds must be failing! The eldritch world draws closer to ours and people have discovered recipes to further refine those weird eldritch concotions[sic]... ew. Hopefully all those flares work soon... keep trying! Here's a list of true heroes, we'll memorialize them in the museum when this is all over:
  • In the middle of the day on November 1, the message changed to:
Rumor has it our message has been received! Help should arrive soon. In the meantime, have you tried that eldritch elixir? It's to die for.
Keep firing those flareguns, we'll keep counting, but come April 8th, we're going to memorialize the people below. If you don't make it, and want to memoralize[sic] your slaughter of terrible tentacles, maybe visit that guy in Border Town.
  • After rollover on November 1:
We think help is on the way, maybe a day or three. We should probably keep fighting off those tentacles and sending up flares, but we think the trick of putting some names in lights has gotten everyone motivated. And the sign-maker is really sick of updating it.
Don't worry, though, we're still showing our appreciation for having the appropriate number of flare... gun usages. And that border town guy is still doing commisioned[sic] trophies.
Here's the finalized sign for the museum:
  • From October 31 through November 2, a leaderboard of "Top Aides to the Council" was appended to the Council messages, listing the top 100 players by number of flares fired against tentacles.
  • After rollover on November 2, the message was:
O frabjous day! A gentleman has set up camp in Forest Village, and we think he's here to help. Rumor is, he's a scientist! We gave him a key to Seaside Town and he spent some time puttering around in the museum. You had better just go talk to him yourself.
To hedge our bets, keep firing those flares, at least for today, until we see how this science thing pans out. We may still need all the help we can get.
  • After rollover on November 3, the message was:
O frabjous day! A gentleman has set up camp in Forest Village, and we think he's here to help. Rumor is, he's a scientist! We gave him a key to Seaside Town and he spent some time puttering around in the museum. You had better just go talk to him yourself.
Seems like this science thing is going to work out, so we're cancelling the official flareguns aide program. Maybe we'll need some official aides again in the future.
  • Additionally from November 3 onward, the Council reported the player's tentacle kill count:
Thanks for helping out and killing X eldritch tentacles. Those things could overrun the Kingdom!


  • You can adventure in fissures while falling-down drunk.
  • No adventures message:
    • You don't have time for a fight, so you just examine the fissure.
  • A random message is sometimes shown in light grey if you have the Eldritch Intellect passive skill. See the skill description for possible messages.