Madame Zatara’s Relationship Fortune Teller

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Fortune Teller

The Fortune Teller may be installed in your VIP Lounge by using a Clan Carnival Game, which is bought from Mr. Store for 3 Mr. Accessories. You may consult with an NPC once per day and consult with a clanmate 3 times per day.


Fortune Teller

As you approach the Madame Zatara machine, the animatronic fortune-teller's head swivels to face you with a creak, and her eyes light up, literally. Her jaw unhinges in that creepy ventriloquist dummy way, and she speaks:

"Greetings, seeker! Madame Zatara knows all, sees all! Grip the left knob tightly, and have the one whose compatibility you wish to test hold the knob on the right."

She winks at you with a loud click.

You may still consult Madame Zatara about your relationship with a clanmate x times today.


Consult About:
A Clanmate


Clanmate name or ID:


What is your favorite food?


Who is your favorite character?


What is your favorite word?


Consult with Zatara
Nevermind

Consultations

NPCs

Consulting an NPC gives 100 adventures of one of the following effects:

NPC Effect Enchantment
Susie A Girl Named Sue +5 Familiar Weight, +5 Familiar Experience Per Combat, +10 Familiar Damage
Hagnk There's No N in Love +50% Booze/Food/Item Drops
Meatsmith Meet the Meat +50% Gear Drops/+100% Meat Drops
Gunther, Lord of Smackdown Gunther Than Thou +5 Muscle Stats Per Fight, Muscle +100%, Maximum HP +50%
Gorgonzola Everybody Calls Him Gorgon +5 Mysticality Stats Per Fight, Mysticality +100%, Maximum MP +50%
Shifty They Call Him Shifty Because... +5 Moxie Stats Per Fight, Moxie +100%, +50% Combat Initiative

Clan Members

  • For clan member consultations, "Any matching pair is the same as any other matching pair. There's no need for any person to keep multiple sets of answers. I think." -Jick, radio show of February 15, 2018
  • There was briefly a bug requiring both halves of a matching pair of answers to be all-lowercase in order to work. It was silently fixed sometime on or before February 15, 2018, and now matching answers are completely case-insensitive.
  • The first consultation of the day with a clan member randomly gives one of the following consumables. Two players are deemed compatible if their favorite foods are part of a matching pair (such as "salt" and "pepper" or "pizza" and "beer"):
Compatibility Item Effect
Incompatible swedish massage fish Food: Size 1/good, gives 40 turns of +5 fishing skill
heart-Shaped candy whetstone Food: Size 1/good; gives 40 turns of +25% candy drops
Bustle Hustler Booze: Size 1/good; gives 40 turns of +5 pool skill
Third Base Booze: size 1/good; gives Third Based (40 Adventures) +25% Pickpocket Chance
Compatible eaves droppers Adds "Ear Temperature: N°" to target's profile (currently seems to be bugged: only shows on private profile page, not public), starts at 1, and presumably increases by 1 for each use
heart cozy Adds "Heart Temperature: N°" to target's profile (currently seems to be bugged: only shows on private profile page, not public), starts at 1, and presumably increases by 1 for each use
lolsipop Causes target's next 10 chat messages to be colored randomly. Colorization is randomized per-person, so different people seeing the chat will see different message colors.
personal graffiti kit puts "graffiti" on target player's profile picture (until rollover); graffiti is random, and changes on each page reload
  • The second consultation of the day with a clan member randomly gives one of the following potions. Two players are deemed compatible if their favourite people are a famous duo (such as "Romeo" and "Juliet", "Batman" and "Robin", "Holmes" and "Watson").
Compatibility Item Effect
Incompatible tonic o' banderas Potion: 20 turns of Bandersnatched. Moxie +5, Ranged Damage +10
bettie page Potion: 20 turns Paging Betty: Mysticality +5, Spell Damage +10
fabiotion Potion: 20 turns of +5 Muscle, +10 weapon damage
heather graham cracker Potion: 20 turns of Maximum HP +10, Maximum MP +5
Compatible Mysterious Black Box
Mysterious Blue Box
Mysterious Green Box
Mysterious Red Box
  • The third consultation of the day with a clan member randomly gives one of the following pieces of equipment. Each set of items forms an outfit. Two players are deemed compatible if their favourite words form a linguistic twin (such as "thick" and "thin", "up" and "down", or "null" and "void").
Compatibility Item Effect
Incompatible genie's turbane Hat: Moxie Req. 10: 50 Power, +2 adv/day, HP +10
genie's scimitar 1-handed sword: Muscle Req. 10: Damage: 5 - 10; , +5 Muscle, +5 weapon damage)
genie's pants Pants: Moxie Req. 10: 50 Power, +2 PVP Fights per day, Maximum MP +10
genie's bracers Accessory: Myst req. 10: +5 Mysticality, +5 Moxie
Compatible psychic's circlet Hat: Moxie Req. 35: 100 Power, +3 adv/day, Regenerate 3-6 MP per adventure
psychic's crystal ball Off-Hand: Myst Req. 35: All Attributes +5, Combat Initiative +20%
psychic's pslacks Pants: Moxie Req. 35: 100 Power, +3 PVP fights/day, Regenerate 5-10 HP per adventure
psychic's amulet Accessory: Spell Damage +10, Slight Resistance to All Elements (+1)
  • Additionally, you have a rare chance of obtaining one of the following skillbooks:
Skillbook Skill
How To Get Bigger Without Really Trying Get Big: Gives effect "Big"; +20% to Muscle, Mysticality, and Moxie.
Illustrated Mating Rituals of the Gallapagos Gallapagosian Mating Call: Makes a monster more likely to seek you out in the future.
Convincing People You Can See The Future Inscrutable Gaze: +10% to all Mysticality Gains
Love Potions and the Wizards who Mix Them Love Mixology: Summon a random Love Potion (only one at a time)
They'll Love You In Rhinestones Acquire Rhinestones: Gives 23-37 rhinestones. (only usable once per day)
Silly Little Love Song Paul's Passionate Pop Song: Regenerate 4-5 MP per adventure

Clan Member Kmails

When a clan member responds to your consultuation, you receive a KMail with the following message:

<username> completed your relationship fortune test! Here are your results:

<first message>: X%
<second message>: Y%
<third message>: Z%

SomethingYou acquire... something. [[Data:{{{item}}}]]
  • The first message appears to be one of:
    • Dining compatibility (first consultation of the day, gives consumable or usable item)
    • Conversational compatibility (second consultation of the day, gives potion or mysterious box)
    • Romantic compatibility (third consultation of the day, gives equipment)
  • The second and third messages appear to be randomly chosen from:
    • Ability to agree on what to name a pet
    • Bank robbery success chance
    • Bowling compatibility
    • Business compatibility
    • Capacity for putting up with each other's BS
    • Chance of enjoying the same movie
    • Chance one of you will murder the other
    • Chance that you like the same kind of cake
    • Chances of enjoying the same movie
    • Child-rearing compatibility
    • Collective odds of winning the lottery
    • Combined credit rating
    • Combined golfing prowess
    • Combined IQ score
    • Combined odds of winning a Nobel prize
    • Compatibility as bridge partners
    • Financial compatibility
    • Karaoke compatibility
    • Martial Arts compatibility
    • Martial Arts golfing prowess
    • Odds of agreeing on what "your song" is
    • Odds of being baked into a pie together
    • Odds of more than one person standing up when the priest says "speak now or forever hold your peace"
    • Odds of one of you getting murdered to spur the other into action
    • Odds of the two of you being gunned down by the FBI in a high-speed chase
    • Odds of the two of you driving off a cliff in a turquoise 1966 Ford Thunderbird convertible
    • Odds of the two of you dying in a tragic misunderstanding
    • Odds of the two of you outwitting a small-town sheriff
    • Odds of winning a three-legged race
    • Odds of your landlord mishearing a conversation between the two of you and setting off a wacky misadventure
    • Pet preference compatibility
    • Pizza preference compatibility
    • Skill at riding a bicycle built for two
    • Travel compatibility
  • Clan member responses (and items) can be received in Hardcore.

Notes

  • The opening text varies with each visit, particularly the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs:

"Greetings, seeker! Madame Zatara knows all, sees all! Grip the left knob tightly, and have the one whose compatibility you wish to test hold the knob on the right."

or

"Greetings, lonely heart! Are you looking for that special someone? Place your hand upon the left knob, while the object of your affections holds the knob on the right."

or

"Don't be shy, true believer! I sense a soulmate in your future! Place your hand upon the left knob, and have the one whose compatibility you wish to test hold the knob on the right."

or

"Don't be shy, true believer! Are you looking for that special someone? Place your hand upon the left knob, while a potential paramour holds the knob on the right."

or

"Welcome, lonely heart! Madame Zatara knows all, sees all! Place your hand upon the left knob, while the object of your affections holds the knob on the right."

or

"Welcome, true believer! Are you looking for that special someone? Hold the left knob in your hand, and have the one whose compatibility you wish to test hold the knob on the right."

or

"Welcome, lonely heart! The spirits informed me of your desire! Grasp the knob on the left, while the object of your affections holds the knob on the right."


She winks at you with a loud click.

or

"I will tell you if your hearts beat as one!"

or

"I will tell you if it was meant to be!"

or

"I will tell you if it is your destiny to be together!"

References

  • The KMail message about driving off a cliff in a turquoise 1966 Ford Thunderbird convertible is a reference to the 1991 film Thelma and Louise.