Frat Warrior drill sergeant

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Frat Warrior drill sergeant
Monster ID 528
Locations Orcish Frat House (Verge of War) (in Filthy Hippy Disguise or War Hippy Fatigues)
Hit Points 200
Attack 175
Defense 157
No-Hit 185
Initiative 60
Meat None
Phylum orc
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
beer helmet, distressed denim pants, bejeweled pledge pin, flask flops
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Frat Warrior drill sergeant You're fighting a Frat Warrior drill sergeant

You wander into the Officer's Lounge and see a man sitting in an overstuffed leather armchair, sipping brandy from a snifter. He looks up, sees you, tells Brandy to get the hell out of his snifter and take herself elsewhere, and heads your way, barely leaving you time to read this description:

This frat boy is currently on his fourth or fifth year as a senior in whatever University the fraternity belongs to. He's a grizzled veteran with the liver of a 90-year-old Irish guy and thick callouses on his paddlin' hand. He's in charge of whipping the frat boys into shape, and whipping the asses of anybody who crosses paths with him.

Which, unfortunately, you just did.

Hit Message(s):

He makes you do a humiliating thing involving a pickle, an obstacle course, and two orifices that should never mix. Argh! Ouch! Ow! Ouch! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

He downs an entire six-pack of beer at once, then crushes all six cans on your forehead. Argh! Eek! Eek!

He downs a fifth of tequila, smashes the neck off the bottle, and stabs you with it! Ow! Argh! Ugh! Ugh! Oof!

He shouts "drop and give me twenty, maggot!" The push-ups don't hurt, but being whacked with a paddle after each one does. Ow! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

He makes you clean his boots with your tongue. There's a fine line, by the way, between "military" and "kinky," and he just crossed that line. Argh! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (sleaze damage)

Miss Message(s):

He downs a fifth of tequila, then passes out. Nobody messes with tequila. Nobody.

He shouts "drop and give me twenty!" but you respectfully decline.

He tries to haze you, but you're unfazed by the hazing.

He starts to paddle you, but notices a platoon of new recruits who didn't shine their shoes this morning, and has to run over and shout at them.

Fumble Message:

He roars and crushes a can on his forehead. It's slightly intimidating, but otherwise not much of an attack. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Deminpants.gifYou acquire an item: distressed denim pants (9.8% chance)*
Beerhelmet.gifYou acquire an item: beer helmet (10.0% chance)*
Fratwarpin.gifYou acquire an item: bejeweled pledge pin (9.9% chance)*
Sandals.gifYou acquire an item: flask flops (? chance)*
You gain 43-44 <substat>.

Occurs at the Orcish Frat House (Verge of War), in either the Filthy Hippy Disguise or War Hippy Fatigues