Giant zombie goldfish

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Giant zombie goldfish
Monster ID 681
Locations A Maze of Sewer Tunnels
Hit Points 250
Attack 250
Defense 229
No-Hit 260
Initiative 60
Meat None
Phylum undead
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, tail
Drops
decaying goldfish liver, sewer nuggets, sewer nuggets
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
giant zombie goldfish You're fighting a giant zombie goldfish

Y'know how sometimes you'll buy a goldfish, and it'll die like three days later, and you have to flush it down the toilet? Well... sometimes they come back. Not back up the toilet pipes, but back to life.

Also, y'know how goldfish will grow larger if the body of water they're in is larger? This sewer is pretty large, as it turns out.

With a blank stare in its unfeeling (even more so than usual) eyes, this 49-cent terror from beyond the grave advances on you. Don't be coy -- defend yourself!

Hit Message(s):

It disappears under the water, then pops its head back up and spits a stream of nasty sewer water at you.Ooh! Eek! Argh! (stench damage)

It smacks you with its tail, and one of its tiny exposed rib bones gets stuck in your throat. Gah. Argh! Eek! Oof! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

It leaps out of the filthy water and repeatedly bites you in the face. You shouldn't have worn your fish-food scented cologne today. Ow! Argh! Ow! Ugh! Ooh! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

It disappears under the water, and you feel it swim between your legs. It's creepy, but it doesn't hurt.

It decides to bite you in a few seconds, but since goldfish have no memory, it ends up just swimming in circles, instead.

Fumble Message:

It leaps out of the water and attempts to bite your head off, but its lower jaw falls off and it has to swim to the bottom to retrieve it. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Liver.gifYou acquire an item: decaying goldfish liver (15% chance)*
Scnuggets.gifYou acquire an item: sewer nuggets (20% chance)*
Scnuggets.gifYou acquire an item: sewer nuggets (20% chance)*
You gain 62-63 <substat>.

Occurs at A Maze of Sewer Tunnels.

References

  • "Don't be coy" is a pun, as goldfish are sometimes confused with the similar-looking koi, another member of the carp family.
  • The theory that goldfish have no memories was debunked on the TV show Mythbusters, in one episode of which co-host Jamie Hyneman trained a goldfish to run an underwater maze.
  • Sometimes They Come Back is a short horror story about zombies by Stephen King.