Grease gun

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grease gun
grease gun

This is a pistol made of greasy cardboard. Every time you pull the trigger, a glob of grease squirts out of the end of the soggy cardboard barrel. All in all, this is one of the sleaziest things you've ever laid eyes (and hand) on.

Type: ranged weapon (1-handed pistol)
Damage: 7 - 13
Moxie Required: 17
Selling Price: 70 Meat.

Moxie +3
Weapon Damage +3
+3 Sleaze Damage

(In-game plural: grease guns)
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Item number: 1708
Description ID: 918258098
View in-game: view
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Hammer.gif crossbow string meat stack  
Hammer.gif basic meat crossbow cardboard ore  
Hammer.gif cardboard crossbow White Citadel burger
Equals.gif grease gun


You fire a big blob of grease from your grease gun. <It> is now hopelessly devoted to taking X points of damage. WHAM! BAM! SOCKO!
You fire a lightning-fast blob of grease from your grease gun. <It> takes X points of automatic, systematic, hydromatic damage. WHAM! BONK! BONK!
You hit <it> with a blob of grease for X damage. Pain is the word, is the word that you heard... WHAM! SMACK! BOOF!
You tell <it>, "you're the one that I want (to take X points of damage), ooh, ooh, ooh, honey." BOOF! BOOF! BOINK!
Your grease gun fires with a resounding "chang chang, changity chang she-bop." <It> takes X points of damage. ZAP! BONK! BOOF!


  • "Grease gun" is a colloquialism for the M3 .45 Cal. Submachine Gun. A grease gun is also a common automotive tool.
  • The fact that this is made from a cardboard crossbow may be a reference to the fact that the grease for grease guns is kept in cardboard tubes.
  • The weapon-specific attack messages refer to several songs from the musical Grease, including "Greased Lightning" and "You're The One That I Want".

See Also


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