Hammered Yam Golem
|Hammered Yam Golem|
|Locations||Appears about every 30 adventures on Drunksgiving|
|Hit Points||75% of Player HP|
|Attack||Player's Buffed Moxie - 3|
|Defense||Player's Buffed Muscle - 3|
This golem made out of candied yams has clearly been whooping it up for St. Sneaky Pete's Day, pounding shot after shot of whiskey and glass after glass of green beer. He's even soaked his marshmallow cap in booze and set it ablaze.
He tries to punch you in the face, but only succeeds in syrup-ing your eyes shut. You lose a few eyelashes opening 'em again. Ow! Ouch! Ooh! Argh!
He tips over and brushes your kidney with his flaming marshmallow hat. Ooh! Argh! Ouch! Argh!
He yammers on and on about his regrets in life until you pass out from boredom and smack your head on the ground. Ugh! Ugh! Ow! Ouch!
He makes a yam-fisted attempt to punch you, and succeeds in bruising your bung. Ouch! Eek! Ooh! Argh!
He hiccups, burps, then vomits flaming sugary booze all over you. You feel like you've wandered into an exceptionally bizarre community theatre version of the Exorcist. Ooh! Ow! Eek! Ow! (hot damage)
He tries to punch you, but he's seeing double and punched the wrong you.
Instead of hitting you, he yammers drunkenly about all his regrets in life.
He tries to punch you, but his yam-fisted efforts fail.
He hiccups and stares blearily at you.
He passes out and falls over. He lies there, snoring gently and muttering to himself, while you twiddle your thumbs. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: marshmallow flambé (100% chance)*|
|You gain some <substat>.|
Occurs at random locations during Drunksgiving. Scales to the player's stats.
- This monster cannot be copied.