Hulking bridge troll

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Hulking bridge troll
Monster ID 1668
Locations The Orc Chasm
Hit Points 140
Attack 100
Defense 100
Initiative 50
Meat 40-60
Phylum humanoid
Elements None
Resistance  ?
Monster Parts leg, torso, arm, head, towel
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
hulking bridge troll You're fighting a hulking bridge troll

As you start across the bridge, you are interrupted by a gigantic, brutishly hulking humanoid that climbs up from underneath. He stands to face you with his fists in the air and a creepy, leering grin on his face, and shouts "FIRST!"

"Uh, hi," you say. "Look, I don't want any part of whatever your deal is, so if you'll just let me past I'll be on my way."

"LURK MOAR, NOOB," he shouts at you. "PICS OR GTFO!"

"Okay, now that's just creepy and offensive."

"U MAD, BRO?" he leers.

Hit Message(s):

He smashes you in the <kidney> with a giant fist, knocking you to the ground. "LOL REKT", he comments. Ugh! Ow! Oof!

He grabs you with his massive hands and rips you in pieces. Ouch! Ugh! Eek!

He punches you in the <bung>, then laughs and says "( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)". ...I'm not sure how he said that, but that's what he said. Eek! Ugh! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

He tricks you into looking at a... let's say a flipbook, entitled "2 girls 1 cup". Fortunately, you don't have to watch the whole thing, because of gouging out your own eyes. (CRITICAL HIT!) Eek! Ow! Ooh! (sleaze damage)

Miss Message(s):

He attempts to punch you in the <kidney>, but misses. "ಠ_ಠ", he grumbles, somehow.

He tried to tear you apart, but you manage to keep it together. Haters gonna hate.

He tries to punch you, but you dodge out of the way. "dafuq?" he mutters to himself.

Fumble Message:

He spends some time insulting you. You're pretty out of the loop when it comes to modern insults, though, so you don't really get what he's trying to imply. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain ~50 Meat

Occurs above The Orc Chasm, when trying to cross the bridge as Actually Ed the Undying for the first time.