|Locations||A Shimmering Portal|
|Monster Parts||trapezoid, triangle|
You step through the shimmering portal and find yourself in a long, dimly-lit hallway. You pick a direction and start walking. And walking. And walking... and walking... And the hallway remains the same. Long, dimly-lit, and nearly featureless.
Just when you think this is the single most boring hallway you've ever encountered, a section of the wall behind you slides open with a low hum. A strange construct hovers out into the hallway and begins polishing the floor with a wide brush attached to its underside. Grateful for the sudden increase in visual variety, you watch it clean, fascinated, until it swings its sensor-apparatus toward you and bellows "PULA KROZAK NOGACHA. FUCHANOKCHA CHA-BEZEVEHO LAKUZ," as it advances on you.
It bowls you over and gives your <thigh> a thorough polishing.
Its whirling brush kicks up a tiny pebble from the ground and whips it into your <giblets> at a painful velocity.
"CHASOM BEZEVEHO ZEVE NOBUFU," bellows the construct. It glides toward you, knocks you down, and polishes a path from your <face> to your <arse> and then moves on to your <eye>. Eek! Ugh! Argh! Oof! Ooh! Ouch! Argh!
It glides toward you, brush spinning, but gets distracted at the last minute by a speck of dirt further down the hall.
"TASOM KUZGA NOGACHA ZAK TABUFU BEZEVEHO ZEVE. TAHOSOM," it bellows, as it fires a beam of energy at you. You duck out of the way, and the only harm you suffer is a singed eyelash.
It rushes at you, trying to buff you to a mirror sheen, but you brush some dirt from your shoulder onto the floor to distract it. And since you're feelin' like a pimp, it works!
"ZAKNO CHAZEVE GAKRONO HOSOMNO. NILA FUCHANO," it bellows, before leaning against the wall and doing nothing for several minutes. (FUMBLE!)
|You acquire an item: El Vibrato punchcard (88 holes) (14.9% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: El Vibrato punchcard (129 holes) (14.9% chance)*|
|You gain 87-88 <substat>.|
Occurs at A Shimmering Portal.
|You lose 20-30 hit points.|
- The attack message "PULA KROZAK NOGACHA. FUCHANOKCHA CHA-BEZEVEHO LAKUZ" translates to "LARGE STAIN DETECTED. INITIALIZING DEEP-CLEANING ROUTINE".
- The miss message "TASOM KUZGA NOGACHA ZAK TABUFU BEZEVEHO ZEVE. TAHOSOM" translates to "FOREIGN OBJECT DETECTED IN PREDEFINED CLEANING PATH. VAPORIZING".
- The critical hit message "CHASOM BEZEVEHO ZEVE NOBUFU" translates to "OPTIMAL CLEANING PATH DETERMINED".
- The fumble message "ZAKNO CHAZEVE GAKRONO HOSOMNO. NILA FUCHANO" translates to "UNION RULES PROHIBIT OVERWORK. BREAK INITIATED".