Jick and Mr. Skullhead Radio Show FAQ
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This little section of the Wiki has been commandeered by Zalan with the blessings of Epeterso2 who did a great deal of work in its initial creation. Please send any questions, comments or corrections to Zalan. Thank you in advance.
Zalan transcribed the radio show from 2004 to the summer of 2006. This page lists the answers to common questions. It is no longer updated.
- 1 Radio Show
- 1.1 How do I listen to Jick & Mr. Skullhead's radio show?
- 1.2 How can I find a list of mirrors for the radio show?
- 1.3 How do I ask a question during the radio show?
- 1.4 I won't be able to listen live, so can I send my question in early?
- 1.5 Hey! You didn't answer my question!
- 1.6 How do I set up a radio mirror?
- 1.7 Will you please answer questions sent to radiobugbear via KMail?
- 2 Asymmetric Team
- 2.1 Who makes up the Asymmetric Team?
- 2.2 What is the origin of the name "Jick"?
- 2.3 What is the origin of the name "Mr. Skullhead"?
- 2.4 Where did Jick and Mr. Skullhead meet?
- 2.5 Where do Jick and Mr. Skullhead live?
- 2.6 What are Jick and Mr. Skullhead's real names?
- 2.7 Why is it "Jick" instead of "El Perezoso"?
- 2.8 What is Jick's NTN player name?
- 2.9 Boxers or briefs?
- 2.10 What's wrong with Jick's house?
- 2.11 What kind of cars do you guys drive?
- 2.12 How tall are you guys?
- 2.13 Who screams most like a girl?
- 3 Meta-Game
- 3.1 When was Kingdom of Loathing created/launched?
- 3.2 Why did Jick create the Kingdom of Loathing?
- 3.3 What influenced the creation of the Kingdom of Loathing?
- 3.4 Why is it the Kingdom of "Loathing"?
- 3.5 Why is there almost no documentation when I click the "documentation" link?
- 3.6 I donated but I didn't get my Mr. Accessory! What happened?!
- 3.7 Hey! I found a bug! Where's my Bugfinder Blade?
- 3.8 Can I create [insert fan-created concept that uses KoL intellectual property here]?
- 3.9 Will there ever be a Con in <<insert home city>>?
- 3.10 What is being done to promote/increase donations?
- 3.11 Will there ever be pop-ups or banner ads in KoL?
- 3.12 When can we get a hold of the [card game, comic book, glassware, or other KoL-themed trinkets]?
- 3.13 Will there ever be a standalone version of Kingdom of Loathing?
- 3.14 Can I provide web hosting or a mirror of KoL itself?
- 3.15 How is the game implemented?
- 3.16 How many people are playing the game?
- 4 Meat, Items, and Locations
- 4.1 Why are there 8 beers in the ice-cold six-pack?
- 4.2 Why are there only 6 shoes in the gazing shoes image when the description says there are 8 shoes?
- 4.3 How do the ultra-rares drop?
- 4.4 What are the ultra-rares?
- 4.5 Can I trade my Ms. Accessory for a Mr. Accessory since they are essentially the same item?
- 4.6 How many (insert your favorite item here)s are there in the Kingdom?
- 4.7 Can you make the flat dough and wad of dough "use multiple"?
- 4.8 Why are some items in both the "Consumables" page and the "Miscellaneous" pages?
- 4.9 Can you make (insert your favorite use item here) a multiple use item?
- 4.10 Did you know that there are a number of spelling errors in Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage?
- 4.11 Are you going to fix the problems in one of the new muscle sign adventure zones? (Bugged Bugbear)
- 4.12 Will the Yeti Protest Signs ever drop again?
- 4.13 Can I get a custom item?
- 4.14 Can I get a custom tattoo?
- 4.15 When will the Spectral Pickle Factory return?
- 4.16 Will any of the Mr. Store monthly special items reappear?
- 4.17 What is the Children's Meal of the Damned?
- 4.18 What is being done about inflation and the massive hoarded amounts of bugmeat?
- 4.19 Why doesn't the rat head balloon look like a rat head balloon?
- 5 Game Mechanics
- 5.1 Why does the game tell me "That's ridiculous. It's not even funny." when I get 11 of something?
- 5.2 How do I do an exact string search in the mall?
- 5.3 Can you add a counter to our terrarium page that shows us the total combined weight of our familiars?
- 5.4 Can you add a fullness counter to the status page which acts like the drunkenness counter?
- 5.5 What is ascension? Why does it exist?
- 5.6 Will there ever be a KoL bank?
- 5.7 Will there ever be a (insert favorite sci-fi property here) reference in the game?
- 5.8 Will there be a church in the game?
- 5.9 Can you add a link next to the "You acquire some items" line when I get, smith, cook, or mix stuff so that I can use the thing I just got or made without having to go my inventory?
- 5.10 Will there ever be a reference to (your favorite cultural property here) in the game?
- 5.11 Will Seal Clubbers ever get a skill that produces consumable items?
- 5.12 Could you please implement (insert favorite game mechanic idea that requires items in your inventory to be unique and distinguishable here)?
- 5.13 Can you make it possible to buy buffs using the trade system?
- 5.14 Can I have a customizable inventory pane?
- 5.15 Can I drop the Oxygenarian path and move to Teetolater or Boozetafarian instead?
- 5.16 Shouldn't all paths be able to drink alcohol on St. Sneaky Pete's Day?
- 5.17 Will something be introduced to keep a familiar's kill count intact through ascensions even if I do not bring it through the gash?
- 5.18 Will a spleen-item consumption leaderboard be introduced?
- 5.19 Will there ever be a way to move items from Hagnk's to (location)?
- 5.20 Why is an underscore needed when messaging someone with two words in their name but not whois?
- 5.21 Why does the effect Corroded Weapon stick even after I switch weapons?
- 5.22 Will fake hands ever be able to be saved with custom outfits?
- 6 Players and Clans
- 6.1 Help me! My clan's stash has been looted!
- 6.2 What does it mean for a player to be described as a "heart", "diamond", "spade", or "club"?
- 6.3 Will our characters get something on their birthdays?
- 6.4 Will there be a way in-game for players to propose to and marry each other?
- 6.5 Will you please change the 'add to clan stash' to be like the colossal closet?
- 6.6 What is being done with the items in disabled accounts?
- 7 Community
- 7.1 Will there ever be a way to keep the chat /reply command from getting hijacked?
- 7.2 How do I become a chat/forum mod?
- 7.3 Would you please make it possible to send a single KMail to multiple recipients?
- 7.4 Could you please add a timestamp to chat private messages?
- 7.5 Will /newbie ever be enforced like /trade in that /newbie should only have questions?
- 7.6 See Also
How do I listen to Jick & Mr. Skullhead's radio show?
Use a streaming audio player such as iTunes, Winamp, or Real Player. Open the URL http://www.radio-kol.net/64/listen.pls or http://www.radio-kol.net/24/listen.pls or in your player to listen to the show. If that link doesn't work for some reason, visit Radio-KoL for the latest working link. You can also tune in with Windows Media Player by opening the URL http://tess.fast-serv.com:8794/ (64k stream) or http://tess.fast-serv.com:8792/ (24k stream).
If you miss the show, Coldfront has recorded archives. More recent updates can be found here.
Mr. Skullhead says: Frequently, the 64k (that's the broadband, high-quality radio stream) fills up early for the show. There are almost always empty slots on the 24k (that's the modem-speed, low quality stream), though. Since we don't play much music, and our voices never sound particularly good anyway, you're better off signing on to the 24k for our show.
How can I find a list of mirrors for the radio show?
Radio-KoL has a limited number of users (currently 300) that can be connected concurrently. Some of those listeners mirror the audio stream so that even more folks can listen live.
Mirrors will be added to the section above upon the request of the player running the mirror.
How do I ask a question during the radio show?
Questions may be sent in via /msg radiobugbear (Your message here.) They do not only have to be sent in during the show, if you will be unable to listen you can always send your question or comment in between shows and it will be in the queue for the following broadcast.
Please do not send in questions via KMail or /msg to the Asymmetric Team's player names, only make use of /msg radiobugbear.
I won't be able to listen live, so can I send my question in early?
You can send a private message to radiobugbear whenever you like; it will appear in the queue for the next show.
Hey! You didn't answer my question!
There are a variety of reasons for this. If your question wasn't amusing, pertinent to the discussion on hand, about a subject that the hosts do not wish to get into (i.e. spoiling content) or spelled improperly, there is a good chance that it may be passed over. This does not mean you should send in the same question over and over again -- doing so puts you at risk for a ban. Keep in mind that there might be a large queue of questions for the evening and the question just won't be answered until the next show if you sent it in during the middle.
It's possible you asked a good question but in the wrong way. Remember to /msg radiobugbear your question here in chat. Chat messages or KMails sent to members of the Asymmetric Team will be ignored.
How do I set up a radio mirror?
There is an excellent forum post that tells you how to do it. I have not done it myself, but it seems reasonably consistent with the SHOUTcast documentation available online.
Will you please answer questions sent to radiobugbear via KMail?
No. While Jick and Mr. Skullhead both appreciate a well-worded, articulate, funny, subtle, and educating question revealed to them in paragraph form, it doesn't make for great radio. Think of the challenge of constructing a radio question as akin to writing poetry - try to maximize your message within the constraints upon the amount of words imposed by the limitations of the chat entry box.
Who makes up the Asymmetric Team?
Jick, Mr. Skullhead, Riff and the Multi Czar. Hogulus is the intern. Xlyinia is also a paid employee and helps keep donations and shipping orders orderly and taken care of. CDMoyer is a freelancer frequently contracted to do work for KoL. Xenophobe, a long-time employee, has since left the company.
What is the origin of the name "Jick"?
Jick simply made up his name, and it has no particular meaning. He arrived at that name by taking standard men's names and replacing the vowels until he found a combo he liked. Jick says, "Sort of inspired by the title of the Ween song 'Big Jilm,' I wanted something that sounded like a name, but wasn't."
What is the origin of the name "Mr. Skullhead"?
From Mr. Skullhead himself: "The name actually comes from three sources -- Animaniacs, my baldness, and my fondness for calaveras."
Where did Jick and Mr. Skullhead meet?
They met at the nerds' table in the cafeteria at Prescott High School in Prescott, Arizona, but then they weren't cool enough for the nerds' table, so they made their own table. Sharing a love of playing and creating a variety of games, their relationship and partnership continues to this day.
Where do Jick and Mr. Skullhead live?
Jick lives in Mesa, Arizona (a suburb of Phoenix). Mr. Skullhead lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
What are Jick and Mr. Skullhead's real names?
Jick is Zack Johnson. Mr. Skullhead is Joshua Nite.
Why is it "Jick" instead of "El Perezoso"?
The account "El Perezoso" was Jick's main user name on his Asymmetric Publications LLC site when he first developed KoL, and the account "Jick" was one of several test accounts. However, he started doing most of the development and testing work with "Jick", and as other users joined in he became more and more known as "Jick". Eventually, the name stuck, and the name "El Perezoso" was relegated to being the account from which you appear to receive email messages from the Kingdom.
What is Jick's NTN player name?
Jick's player name on the in-bar MMO trivia gaming system at his local gar and brill is, oddly enough, "Jick".
Boxers or briefs?
Jick wears boxers; Skully wears boxer briefs. How about you?
What's wrong with Jick's house?
The bathroom ceiling is collapsing, and all the knowledgeable bathroom ceiling repair technicians in Phoenix have been unwilling to respond to the call for help. Occasionally, native Arizona wildlife (such as ants) take up residence there.
What kind of cars do you guys drive?
As of December 2004, Jick drove a 1992 Ford Ranger, and Mr. Skullhead drove a 1992 Chevy Prizm. But only because a solid gold Ferrari is not driveable.
How tall are you guys?
Jick is 6'2". Skully is 6'0".
Who screams most like a girl?
When was Kingdom of Loathing created/launched?
The first version of Kingdom of Loathing was made available online on January 31, 2003. The public was first invited to come and play on February 11, 2003. An excellent History of Loathing is available which chronicles the evolution of the game and the community over time.
Why did Jick create the Kingdom of Loathing?
Jick was inspired by the overabundance of MMORPGs that took themselves far too seriously. After saying to himself, "There should be a game that is a parody of all of these MMORPGs ... with a bunch of cool pop culture references ... and stick figures instead of photoreal 3D rendered images ...", he slapped himself in the head and came to the realization that he had the power to create just such a thing. The rest is history.
What influenced the creation of the Kingdom of Loathing?
Kingdom of Loathing is an amalgamation of all that is clever and funny in a variety of current and past online and real-life RPGs, text adventures, puzzle games, and first-person shooters, sprinkled with a healthy dose of pop culture. Jick has said "Legend of the Red Dragon, which is an old BBS door game, basically is Kingdom of Loathing (obviously KoL is a bigger and a lot more complicated)."
Why is it the Kingdom of "Loathing"?
Jick had decided to call the game "Kingdom of (blank)" but was missing a noun. Jick needed a name for a folder to stick the initial game imagery, and randomly pulled the word 'Loathing' out of his ass. Then when he needed to name the game the word kind of stuck. The fact that Jick chose the noun "Loathing" is simply a representation of the underlying imprint upon his brain left by the beings that constructed the Earth.
Why is there almost no documentation when I click the "documentation" link?
Because writing documentation is a lot less fun, a lot harder to do, and matters to a fewer number of people than writing code and cool new content. Fortunately, there is extensive fan-supplied documentation at KoL Coldfront that's way more up-to-date than just about anything else around.
I donated but I didn't get my Mr. Accessory! What happened?!
Sometimes the interaction between PayPal and KoL doesn't work quite right - don't click on anything out-of-the-ordinary or open/close windows while donating through PayPal! Send a KMail to Xlyinia or Jick (which, if you're not on Jick's contact list, will get routed to Xlyinia anyway) and tell her of the situation ... give her as much of a description of the transaction as you can to help her track it down. It should generally be resolved by the end of the next business day, Phoenix-time.
Hey! I found a bug! Where's my Bugfinder Blade?
Bugfinder Blades and Bigger Bugfinder Blades are given out to folks who discover and report really serious bugs. These situations typically include conditions that cause one or more of the following:
- Infinite stat gains, adventures, meat, or items
- The creation and acquisition of arbitrary numbers and types of items from the item table
- The ability to access or modify aspects of another person's account due to flawed game mechanics (other than just an easily-guessed password)
- Serious corruption of the database
- Serious degradation of server performance
Situations which do not merit bugfinder blades are, well, pretty much everything else. Here's some examples of things that aren't serious and will not earn you a bugfinder blade.
- Typos, such as grammatical and spelling errors
- Code errors or database corruption that don't impact gameplay
- Inconsistencies in the user interface
Just because these issues are not major doesn't mean that Jick isn't interested in hearing about them. Please report anything you feel is an issue that makes your experience in the game less than perfect. Use the "report bug" link in the top pane or send a KMail to Jick (#1) (which is essentially the same thing).
Sharing knowledge of the bug and how to exploit it with folks who are not game admins is really bad behavior, especially if that knowledge is shared in a public way such as the chat or forums. If you or your friends exploit a bug for personal gain, submit a bug report and return anything you've gained. If you fail to report such a bug, be prepared for the consequences in accordance with the Policies of Loathing.
Can I create [insert fan-created concept that uses KoL intellectual property here]?
Jick and Mr. Skullhead's typical answer is "Sure, as long as you don't try to make any money off of it. And if you do try to make money off of it, please ask us first and give us some of it if you do." All the standard rules of intellectual property law apply to the KoL content, and if you're not sure, asking first is a good idea.
Will there ever be a Con in <<insert home city>>?
The only Cons that Jick and Mr. Skullhead organize is KoL Con in Arizona. All others are organized by the player base. If you want there to be a Con anywhere, start a forum thread and make it happen.
What is being done to promote/increase donations?
Nothing. Donations are streaming in at a sufficient pace to keep Jick, Mr. Skullhead, and Xlyinia (Jick's office manager) employed and to pay for web hosting service and swimming pools full of solid gold Ferraris.
If more players come and the system starts to slow down, they'll donate more and enable Asymmetric to buy more bandwidth. If players start to leave, the servers will speed up and donations won't be as necessary. So it's a self-regulating situation.
Nope, never. If you ever see a pop-up ad, you likely have contracted a bad case of spyware/adware/malware on your computer which throws pop-up ads at you no matter what web site you visit. That is, unless it's April Fool's Day.
When can we get a hold of the [card game, comic book, glassware, or other KoL-themed trinkets]?
Many of these things are complete or nearly complete. The Asymmetric Publications online store is the official place for stuff. Available today:
- Bumper stickers
- Shot and pint glasses
- Tiny plastic familiar figurines
Other stuff is in the works at various stages of development, such as:
- The Comic Book of Loathing
- A card game
Will there ever be a standalone version of Kingdom of Loathing?
Probably not from Asymmetric Publications LLC. But if you'd like to do a version yourself, feel as free to do so as you would any other form of disturbing fan fiction or pretentious artwork.
Can I provide web hosting or a mirror of KoL itself?
The servers have recently been upgraded and relocated. Should the need arise for more web hosting or mirroring then Jick has stated that they can always upgrade them again.
How is the game implemented?
The game is a collection of scripts written in PHP and Perl using the vi text editor and supported by a database managed with MySQL. The forums are run using an application called phpBB, which also uses a MySQL backend.
The game itself runs on several servers:
- The eight web servers (www, www2, www3, www4, www5, www6, www7, and www8)
- The forum/image server
- Two database servers (primary and secondary)
- The "dev" server, which contains development code not available on the public web servers
There is no "dev" database - all development work takes place using the production database.
How many people are playing the game?
A good measure for answering this question is the number of unique accounts that have logged in during a given time period. As of this writing (July 2005), the numbers are:
- 1,000 at any given instant
- 30,000 per day
- 60,000 per week
- 100,000 per month
Approximately 1,250 new accounts are being created every day, but the number of players that log in per day/week/month is remaining relatively constant.
Note: Players can now see how many players are logged on when they visit the site.
Meat, Items, and Locations
Why are there 8 beers in the ice-cold six-pack?
According to Skully: "Actually, that question refers to the drawing of the six pack. VEGeteriAN thought the picture showed 8 beers and asked the question five or six times before he realized it actually doesn't. Now it's just one of the stock jokes for the show."
Why are there only 6 shoes in the gazing shoes image when the description says there are 8 shoes?
Because there are only 6 beers in the ice-cold six-pack.
How do the ultra-rares drop?
Nobody knows and Jick isn't telling anyone. Bashy thinks he has an idea, which is probably close to the truth. All we know is that there is a very limited and variable number that can drop each day - usually about four.
What are the ultra-rares?
The ultra rares are: 17-ball, crazy bastard sword, hypnodisk, Talisman of Baio, incredibly dense meat gem, Talisman of Bakula, Platinum Yendorian Express Card and hockey stick of furious angry rage. The spooky hockey mask is rare but not ultra-rare. The beet used to drop on a rare or ultra-rare script, but now no longer drops. Recently, the Counterclockwise Watch was implemented as a new ultra-rare. More recently, the Dallas Dynasty Falcon Crest shield was also implemented.
Can I trade my Ms. Accessory for a Mr. Accessory since they are essentially the same item?
Not at this time and probably never. The obvious response to that question is: "Well, if they really are the same item, then why do you want to trade?" The answer is obviously that the Ms. Accessory cannot be used for Mr. Store purchases. Jick and Mr. Skullhead have said that they want the decision about trading a Mr. Accessory for a Mr. Store item to be one that players think carefully about in advance, and so will probably never offer refunds on any Mr. Store items.
It is possible that the Ms. Accessory will be modified in the future to have a different effect upon gameplay from Mr. Accessory. But for now, if all you want is the benefit of a Mr. Accessory as an accessory (as opposed to a unit of currency), then you can buy a Ms. Accessory at a lower price in the mall than you can a Mr. Accessory.
How many (insert your favorite item here)s are there in the Kingdom?
Probably a lot. However, running queries on the inventory table is bad for the database and doesn't make for great radio. Jick says he'll run the query on the first 2 or 3 requests he gets BEFORE the show starts, but no more dynamic querying during the show.
Can you make the flat dough and wad of dough "use multiple"?
Yes, but then nobody would ever get to experience the unrolling pin joke. Don't expect Jick to make that change.
Why are some items in both the "Consumables" page and the "Miscellaneous" pages?
Some items (such as phonics down, tiny house, etc.) are consumable, and some folks like having all of the consumable items (which also includes food and drink) on a single page. However, they're not really food nor are they drink, so some folks like them on the Miscellaneous page. It's a compromise to make everyone happy. Or unhappy, depending upon your perspective and annoyance level.
Also, please stop sending bug reports about the enchanted barbell being erroneously placed in the Food/Drink page.
Can you make (insert your favorite use item here) a multiple use item?
The issue is this: For a quest item that drops multiple times, you need to see the special text for when it is first used. But after that it could be used multiple times safely. Jick is working on implementing a multi-use behavior for quest items that works like this - if you haven't used the first one yet and you try to use more than one at once, then the game resets your quantity to just one. Subsequent uses do not reset the quantity. Look for that real soon now.
For non-quest items, most of these should already have a multiple use. If not, ask.
Did you know that there are a number of spelling errors in Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage?
Actually, there aren't any spelling errors there - you just haven't seen enough of the game yet to understand why some words are spelled the way that they are. Try ascending again and choose a different set of options than you chose last time. You'll understand soon enough.
Are you going to fix the problems in one of the new muscle sign adventure zones? (Bugged Bugbear)
Unfortunately, you've missed the joke there. To get the joke, carefully consider the name of the adventure zone and the monsters you're fighting when you're reading the text of the fight.
Will the Yeti Protest Signs ever drop again?
As Jick and Skully have repeatedly stated: Not everybody can have everything in the game.
Having the sign and the trophies is a badge of honor, a way of saying "I was there!" in a way that new players can't.
Can I get a custom item?
No. A few players have custom items but only if it seems funny at the time for Jick and Skully to create them. According to Mr. Skullhead, "As far as custom items go -- We want to be able to give them out as gifts for whatever we feel like. Therefore there's no set way to earn them, you can't buy them, people get them when we want to give 'em, and that's the way it should be."
Can I get a custom tattoo?
Generally, no. However, Daisy Cutter (#13041) and ZetaReticula (#80507) both have gotten KoL tattoos on their real-life personal selves, so Jick has honored the mutilation of their skin in the name of KoL with custom tattoos for them.
When will the Spectral Pickle Factory return?
NONE MAY KNOW THE HOUR OF ITS COMING AND GOING, says Mr. Skullhead.
The Spectral Pickle Factory appeared two days before ascension rollout on Tuesday, June 7, 2005.
It reappeared once more on April 1, 2006.
Will any of the Mr. Store monthly special items reappear?
Never. Jick has stated on the radio that he wants to keep them as one-time-only items.
According to Jick: "As it stands now, our plan is to not ever have them repeat. If we run out of ideas, we might make familiars that are similar (or even functionally identical) to previous FsOTM, but they won't be the same familiar."
What is the Children's Meal of the Damned?
It is an unimplemented item that was supposed to drop from the Evil Golden Arches but whose content was never completed. The vision was that consuming the Children's Meal of the Damned would give you some kind of collectible toy surprise, kind of like how Lucky Surprise Eggs work.
The instances of this item that exist are ones that were hacked from the item table using arbitrary item creation bugs. They give no stat gains, adventures, or fullness when consumed. When they are implemented, they will become as common as everything else that drops from the Arches, so trade in them at your own risk.
What is being done about inflation and the massive hoarded amounts of bugmeat?
While a large amount of meat is flowing into the economy (mostly from farmers on the Peak) various different forms of meatsinks are being created and will be rolling out to help stem inflation.
The Icy Peak has now been
nerfimproved to reduce the amount of meat that farmers can obtain there.
Why doesn't the rat head balloon look like a rat head balloon?
It does. Seriously. Just try looking at it a little differently.
Why does the game tell me "That's ridiculous. It's not even funny." when I get 11 of something?
It's a reference to the song Time Zones by Negativland, which provides "11" as the answer to the question "Do you know how many time zones there are in the Soviet Union?"
How do I do an exact string search in the mall?
Enclose your search string in double quotes "like this".
Can you add a counter to our terrarium page that shows us the total combined weight of our familiars?
No, because the combined weight serves no purpose in the game other than as a vanity reward to those who discover how to unlock that reward. Jick doesn't want to draw an unnecessary amount of attention to that fact. Besides, arithmetic is pretty easy ... just keep track yourself, or just max out the weight of every familiar you've got.
Can you add a fullness counter to the status page which acts like the drunkenness counter?
No, because you cannot overeat. Determining the fullness given by each item is part of the game, whereas there is a significant penalty if you overdrink. Since some adventures can give you drunkenness, you need to know where you are and if it's safe to adventure in certain places. But there's no such problem for how much you've eaten. Plus, Jick says that drunkenness is funny, whereas the contents of your stomach are not. Also, he will answer with "How do you type with boxing gloves on."
What is ascension? Why does it exist?
Ascension is essentially winning the game. When you complete the final quest, you will be given the option of ascending, which means restarting the game all over again. You will get to choose a character class and play the game all over again. A forum thread for ascension information exists.
Ascension exists to keep the game interesting for players once they've completed all the quests and gotten all the trophies and acquired all the items and collected all the meat and have basically run out of other things to do. There is new content available only to those who have ascended, and to see the whole game you will have to ascend at least 3 times, if not more. There will be new leaderboards related to ascension that will give more players the chance to see their names in lights, as opposed to just the few that started playing the game in 2003.
Will there ever be a KoL bank?
No. Inflation of the game currency is something that is being fought and is not something that the game operators want to promote. If you want to make money, go adventure! There's almost no downside to playing the game.
Will there ever be a (insert favorite sci-fi property here) reference in the game?
Probably not. The Hole in the Sky is as close as this game gets to sci-fi, but the scope of the game is intended to be fantasy more than sci-fi. A ton of ideas in that genre have been proposed, but that's probably mostly on the back burner for a successor to KoL at some nebulous random point in the future.
Will there be a church in the game?
While the game pokes fun at a number of things, religion probably isn't one of the things they'll ever take a stab at. Remember also that this is a global game and that faiths vary widely around the world.
Can you add a link next to the "You acquire some items" line when I get, smith, cook, or mix stuff so that I can use the thing I just got or made without having to go my inventory?
Yes, Jick can do that. But doing so in one place would mean that people would start asking for it nonstop that it be made to work that way everywhere an item could be acquired, which would really start to make the GUI look cumbersome and messy. So no, Jick probably isn't going to make that change.
Will there ever be a reference to (your favorite cultural property here) in the game?
That question is phrased in such a way as to assume that the game is written around pop culture references. However, the opposite is generally true. The game content is generally written first, and references are added where they fit. That keeps the game interesting and playable as opposed to just a constant reminder that the developers watch a lot more TV and see a lot more movies and read a lot more books and listen to a lot more music than you do.
Will Seal Clubbers ever get a skill that produces consumable items?
Could you please implement (insert favorite game mechanic idea that requires items in your inventory to be unique and distinguishable here)?
No. The problem is that the items in inventory are no more distinguishable than the dollar bills (or whatever your local unit of currency is) in your bank account. There's no way to write a note on a dollar bill, deposit that dollar bill into your account, then withdraw that specific dollar bill from your account at some point in the future. You'll get a dollar bill that's functionally equivalent to the one you put in, but there's no guarantee that it's the same one you deposited.
Some specific things that aren't possible to implement because of this architectural constraint:
- Weapons that wear out and break
- Magic items with limited number of charges
- Rental equipment that is tracked in the game and automatically returned to its owner
- Opening a specific gift package you received from a specific owner
Can you make it possible to buy buffs using the trade system?
Technically, it's possible, but it would be somewhat open to abuse. Since ascension allows you to obtain any skill from any class, just ascend to the proper class and you'll be able to perform your own buffs.
There are also a large number of buffbots who will buff you for very little, unless you're in Hardcore or Ronin.
Can I have a customizable inventory pane?
Many people have asked for the ability to make a set of customizable inventory panes that allow players to organize their items themselves instead of the way that the game designers organize the items. There are a variety of ways of doing this, each with their benefits and drawbacks. Jick is considering whether or not to do it and how best to do it.
Can I drop the Oxygenarian path and move to Teetolater or Boozetafarian instead?
No. Choosing a path upon ascension is designed to be not only challenging but something that the player should be prepared for.
Shouldn't all paths be able to drink alcohol on St. Sneaky Pete's Day?
No. Choosing a path upon ascension is supposed to not only be a challenge but something that you accept. If drinking on St. Sneaky Pete's Day is extremely important, a player can always drop the path.
Will something be introduced to keep a familiar's kill count intact through ascensions even if I do not bring it through the gash?
Yes, this was announced as complete on September 25th, 2006.
Will a spleen-item consumption leaderboard be introduced?
Probably not. There are so few spleen items currently in the game that having a leaderboard for them would be boring. More importantly, it wouldn't be that funny.
Will there ever be a way to move items from Hagnk's to (location)?
No. Other than using Hagnk's to pull items to your inventory or sending items from Hagnk's in a gift box, there will be no other ways to move items. Reasoning behind this is that whenever items are moved from place to place it opens up the possibility for a large amount of bugs and exploits.
Why is an underscore needed when messaging someone with two words in their name but not whois?
/whois works on the premise that you're not typing a message to that person, you're looking up someone's name. If you're sending someone a message the game doesn't know if you mean to send the message '/msg Bob The Gun Hello' to Player Bob with the message "The Gun Hello" or to Player 'Bob The Gun' saying "Hello" if underscores are not used to denote where the player name ends.
Why does the effect Corroded Weapon stick even after I switch weapons?
It's on your hands and it hurts too much to get off. When you switch weapons it goes from your hand to your weapon until the corrosion is over.
Will fake hands ever be able to be saved with custom outfits?
No, it's a joke.
Players and Clans
Help me! My clan's stash has been looted!
Looting is what happens when a player takes items out of the stash that he or she doesn't have permission to remove. The game provides methods for clan leaders to create ranks and assign daily karma withdrawal limits to those ranks. If you accept someone into your clan and give them a rank that allows daily (or possibly unlimited) karma withdrawals, then the person that withdraws stuff up to that limit is not looting. Clan leaders need to be careful about who they allow into their clans and what rank those people are given. Mr. Skullhead's position on that is summarized in this post.
The only way that looting can happen is if an account is hacked, and typically this happens when someone hasn't picked a strong enough password. This should be reported to the authorities (Jick, Mr. Skullhead, and/or the Multi Czar) immediately. This thread describes some things you can do to make it less likely that your password will be guessed.
What does it mean for a player to be described as a "heart", "diamond", "spade", or "club"?
The terms come from a paper by Richard Bartle called "Players Who Suit MUDs", specifically referring to MUDs (or multi-user dungeons, which were semi-precursors to MMORPGs). Long story short is this: they are terms that describe your general style of play and the manner in which you feel rewarded by the game:
- Diamonds = Players who want to be the biggest, strongest, fastest (the folks that want to be on the top of the leaderboards)
- Spades = Players who want to see the whole game, to explore everywhere (who want to get every trophy, get every tattoo, see every location, complete every quest)
- Hearts = Players who want to socialize, meet others, do good deeds (and end up often in chat/forums)
- Clubs = Players who want to triumph over other players (PvPers)
The categories are not mutually exclusive - people often exhibit various amounts of the traits in each category.
The Rye made a version of the Bartle test "suited" for KoL (no pun intended) -- The BarKoL Test.
Will our characters get something on their birthdays?
Gift items (including birthday-themed items) can be purchased at an NPC store that one player can send to another (kinda like the Valentines cards). Check out the Gift Shop in Seaside Town for details.
With the advent of NS-13, characters will now receive an anniversary gift box on their yearly anniversary.
Will there be a way in-game for players to propose to and marry each other?
No. That will never be sanctioned with the implementation of some kind of wedding game mechanic. Get married informally in chat or formally in real life, if that's what you want.
Will you please change the 'add to clan stash' to be like the colossal closet?
POOF! Your wish has been granted!
What is being done with the items in disabled accounts?
Nothing - they will be forever inaccessible. Some people have proposed making them available in various forms, such as an auction or lottery, but this would just encourage multi abuse to regain access to items in such accounts. If you don't want to lose access to your items, don't behave in such a way as to get your account disabled.
Some accounts are deleted due to inactivity (which is not logging in for 60 days in a row). However, if you have a Mr. Accessory or any of the Mr. Store items in your inventory during rollover, then the "nodelete" flag gets set in your account, and you will never have to worry ever again about being removed due to inactivity.
Will there ever be a way to keep the chat /reply command from getting hijacked?
Jick has implemented the /conv command, which sends a chat private message to the last person to whom you sent a private message via /msg. Jick no longer has this feature written down on his to-do list, abbreviated "A.N.U.S." or any other way for that matter.
How do I become a chat/forum mod?
Be excellent in chat and in the forums, where "excellent" means "helpful, constructive, supportive, and available". A lot. Well, all the time, really. Oh, and don't ask to be a mod ... Mr. Skullhead and the rest of the mod team will solicit your services if they are required. Asking to be a mod tends to move you all the way to the bottom of the list of potential mods.
Would you please make it possible to send a single KMail to multiple recipients?
No, for several reasons. Not only does it place too much of a load on the database server, but Jick also doesn't want to create a mechanism that allows one person to spam other players in the game.
If you want to send a message to all of the members of your clan, post an announcement in your clan hall. Everyone in your clan will get an event notification that informs them of the new announcement.
Could you please add a timestamp to chat private messages?
Probably not because it would make the chat even messier than it already is. People often ask for this because it is possible to send someone a chat private message even if they're not online, and all of the messages get displayed the next time they enter chat without any indication as to when they were sent. But it's probably not worth the extra clutter for the few times when it's useful.
Will /newbie ever be enforced like /trade in that /newbie should only have questions?
At the moment Jick feels that /newbie shouldn't be enforced only for questions. HotStuff has in the past commented that he liked the idea of a /help channel. Jick has stated that he feels that /newbie should be the help channel, but in practice it isn't. Werebear, who oversees chat, does not want a /help channel.