Juvenile delinquent orquette

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Juvenile delinquent orquette
Monster ID 958
Locations Kegger in the Woods
Hit Points 100
Attack 50
Defense 45
Initiative 75
Meat 8-12
Phylum orc
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
plastic cup of beer
Quest orquette's phone number
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
juvenile delinquent orquette You're fighting a juvenile delinquent orquette

This orquette clearly doesn't give a damn about her bad reputation. In fact, she seems to revel in it. She's wearing a leather jacket, ripped fishnet stockings, smoking a cigarette, and tossing a switchblade from hand to hand.

It's so cute that she's trying so hard, and you can't help saying, "ooh, a rebel. Shock me shock me shock me with your deviant behavior," which, of course, enrages her.

Hit Message(s):

She burns you with her cigarette. See, those things are bad for you. Ouch! Oof!

She kicks you in the <neck> with a steel-toed boot. Ooh! Ooh!

She stabs you in the <neck> with her switchblade. It's not a clever attack, but it does the trick. Ouch! Oof!

She punches you in the solar plexus. At least she was paying attention in her anatomy class. Argh! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

She sneers at your bourgouis middle-class values, which hurts your feelings a little. Then she carves her initials into your <lower back>, which hurts quite a bit more. Eek! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

She tries to burn you with her cigarette, but you know those things are hazardous to your heath, and dodge.

She tries to kick you with a steel-toed boot, but it's too heavy for her to actually lift.

She tries to stab you with her switchblade, but sees she's got it switched off.

She tries to punch you in the solar plexus, but she flunked anatomy.

Fumble Message:

She drops her cigarette, accidentally picks it up by the lit end, and spends a minute hopping around swearing. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 8-12 Meat (average: 10, stdev: 1.15)*
Plasticcup.gifYou acquire an item: plastic cup of beer
You gain 12-13 <substat>.

Using a plastic cup of beer:

You figure the minors aren't going to contribute to their own delinquency, so you hand the orquette your cup of beer.

"Thanks," she says, fluttering her false eyelashes. "My name's Roseanna. Call me sometime, okay?"

She writes her phone number on a piece of paper in cherry lip gloss and hands it to you.

Phonenumber.gifYou acquire an item: orquette's phone number

You wander off to a different part of the party.

Occurs at Kegger in the Woods.


  • The orquette's name is a reference to the Arquette sisters, specifically Rosanna Arquette (making the version in the quest slightly misspelled).
  • doesn't give a damn about her bad reputation is a reference to the song Bad Reputation by Joan Jett.
  • The phrase "Shock me, shock me, shock me with your deviant behavior" is a near quote from the movie Empire Records.