MagiMechTech MechaMech

MagiMechTech MechaMech
Monster ID	175
Locations	The Penultimate Fantasy Airship
Hit Points	100
Attack	120
Defense	108
No-Hit	130
Initiative	80
Meat	None
Phylum	construct
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	arm, leg, head, torso
Drops glowing red eye, metallic A, oversized pizza cutter, photoprotoneutron torpedo, magilaser blastercannon
Bounty	burned-out arcanodiode
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a MagiMechTech MechaMech

This is a big robot that's powered by a sinister blend of magic and technology. Since sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic, though, you're not sure in what proportion.

Hit Message(s):

It fires a torpedo at you. A pink torpedo. KAWAIII!! I mean, OW! Ugh! Ow! Eek! Oof!

It fires some kind of bright pink laser beam at you. KAWAIIIII!! Oh, and OWWW! Ow! Ugh! Ooh! Ow!

It stomps on you with its big metal feet. That's no mean feat, but it is a pair of mean feet. Oof! Ouch! Argh! Ugh! Ouch!

It reaches out with what appears to be an oversized whirling pizza cutter, and cuts you from your <thigh> to your <groin>. Ooh! Ow! Eek! Eek! Argh! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

It fires a missile and a laser beam at you, then stomps on you afterward. You feel a perfect trifecta of pain. Ow! Argh! Oof! Argh! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

It fires a torpedo at you, but you sidestep with savoir-faire. Then you put down the savoir-faire.

It fires a bright pink laser beam at you, but you dodge with panache. Then you put down the panache.

It tries to stomp on you with its big metal feet, but you find it a trivial feat to dodge them.

It reaches toward you with what appears to be an oversized whirling pizza cutter, but you cut and run before it can run and cut.

Fumble Message:

It stomps forward again, but some kind of midget bear swings overhead on a vine and kicks it, knocking it to the ground. It cycles its legs in the air, comically. Er, the robot, that is. Not the bear. There's nothing comical about those bears. (FUMBLE!)

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After Combat

You acquire an item: metallic A (30.1% chance)*

You acquire an item: glowing red eye (16.3% chance)*

You acquire an item: photoprotoneutron torpedo (30.0% chance)*

You acquire an item: oversized pizza cutter (7.9% chance)*

You acquire an item: magilaser blastercannon (9.7% chance)*

• If you are on the appropriate bounty hunt:

You acquire a bounty item: burned-out arcanodiode

(X of 12 found)

You gain 30 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Penultimate Fantasy Airship.

Notes

• There exists a familiar version of this enemy. This monster's laser attack deals physical damage, whereas the equivalent attack of the familiar version deals hot damage. Now there's an even smaller accessory version.

References

• The MagiMechTech MechaMech may be a parody of the Warmech enemy in the original Final Fantasy for the NES and the Magitek armors used in Final Fantasy VI (renamed Final Fantasy III for the SNES release in North America). This monster's ML is a good 15-30 points higher than that of any other monster here, and its defense is 13-27 above. In Final Fantasy I, the Warmech was one of the strongest enemies in the game, despite being a random encounter. Most new players were often caught unprepared and crushed. It is probably also parodying the MechWarrior series of computer games.
• The drawing of the sprite is similar to the damage diagram of a Bushwacker, a 55-ton BattleMech seen in the MechWarrior games.
• The comment about sufficiently advanced technology being indistinguishable from magic is a reference to Clarke's Third Law.
• In an attack message, this monster attacks you with a pink torpedo. A pink torpedo is a cocktail of vodka mixed with Schweppes Raspberry Ginger Ale. Pink torpedo is also a lyric from the Spinal Tap song 'Big Bottom': "My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo/I'd like to sink her with my pink torpedo."
• The laser beam and torpedo in the attack messages are probably pink because in anime, things often have unusual colors (like hair).
• The word "Kawaii" means "cute" in Japanese.
• The midget bear swinging from a vine, and the robot comically cycling its legs in the air in the fumble message is most likely a reference to the Ewoks of the movie Return of the Jedi and their battle against AT-ST walkers.