Maximizing Your HP

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Below is a comprehensive list of the best equipment to wear that directly affects your maximum HP.

Increasing your Muscle also has an effect on your maximum HP, at a base ratio of one HP per Muscle point. This ratio is improved to 1.5 HP per Muscle point if you are a Seal Clubber or a Turtle Tamer. Seal Clubbing Frenzy can also increase your maximum HP indirectly by raising your Muscle by two for a cost of one MP.

For these reasons, you may also be interested in the list of Muscle Modifiers. They are not listed alongside these items due to the variable nature of the Muscle-to-HP ratio.

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Ultra rares and Raffle House/Radio prizes Tradable and still obtainable, but rare
Semi-rares and war hero drops
Mr. Store/KoL Con accessible derivatives Tradable (directly or ingredients or zone access consumable), unlimited generation to those who own source, source no longer obtainable
Mr. Store/KoL Con items and inaccessible derivatives Tradable, but no longer obtainable
Other limited time content
Clan Dungeon non-tradables Untradable, but still obtainable
Other non-tradables
Non-tradables from past holidays and world events Untradable, and no longer obtainable
* Single-equip restriction, or two-handed/three-handed weapon
^ Equipment disappears at the end of the day or the equipment (or its associated enchantment) has a limited duration

Hat Back Item Shirt Pants
battered old top-hat 500
Unkillable Skeleton's skullcap 500 (Turtle Tamers only)
nurse's hat 300
Great Wolf's headband 250 (Seal Clubbers only)
zombie mariachi hat 150 (Accordion Thieves only)
Covers-Your-Head 100 (Disco Bandits only)
guard turtle shell 50
sea cowboy hat 50
warbear plain fedora 50
catskin cap 40
reinforced beaded headband 40
black helmet 30
stainless steel skullcap 30
sea shawl 100
sea cape 30
sea salt scrubs 400
cool iron breastplate 200
wumpus-hair sweater 30
white snakeskin duster 10
Jeans of Loathing 500
weedy skirt 400
The Ghoul King's ghoulottes 100
leggings of the Spider Queen 50
warbear party pants 50
crotchety pants 40
double-ice britches 40
astronaut pants 30
palm-frond capris 30
turtlemail breeches 30
hippopotamus pants 25
Mainhand Offhand Accessory Familiar equipment
lawn dart 300
black kettle drum* 30
elegant nightstick 30
giant cactus quill 30
lawn dart 300
complicated device 111% and 111
battered hubcap 100
stress ball 100
duct tape buckler 65
eelskin shield 55
Plush hamsterpus 50
six-rainbow shield 50
slime-covered lantern 50
wonderwall shield 50
snarling wolf shield 40
slime-covered necklace 200
hopping socks* 200
Gauntlets of the Blood Moon* 75
Caveman Dan's favorite rock* 60
sphygmomanometer 60
warbear goggles* 50
blackberry combat boots* 45
bejeweled pledge pin* 40
streetfighting champion's belt* 40
plastic vampire fangs* 30
shiny hood ornament 30
tiny plastic Ed the Undying 30
rusty chain necklace 25
Disembodied Hand familiar with lawn dart equipped 300
Disembodied Hand familiar with giant cactus quill equipped 30
Outfit Effects and buffs Passive skills, non-buff skills and others
El Vibrato Relics 0-1000
Preemptive Medicine 500%
Nigh-Invincible 100%
Gemini Rising 100%
Song of Starch 50%
Nutrient-Rich 50%
Fitter, Bitter 50%
Meat the Flintstones 50%
Superveiny 9000 300
Cold Hard Skin 200
Digitalis, Dig It 200
Grape Expectations 50
Nuts about Candy 50
Thick-Skinned 50
Fishy Fortification 50
Juicy Boost 30
Reptilian Fortitude 30
Power Ballad of the Arrowsmith 20
Puddingskin 20
Spirit of Ravioli 25%
Abs of Tin 10%
Gnomish Hardigness 5%
Irrepressible Spunk 5%
A Few Extra Pounds 5-55
Slimy Sinews 2-20
Thick-Skinned 10
Mariachi Mood 3
Patience of the Tortoise 3
Saucemastery 3


  • The passive percent boosters used to be multiplicative, but are now additive. See HP for details.
  • This table describes only HP increasers; it would be more accurate to take HP due to Muscle into account. Since almost all effects from items or skills are stackable, maximizers should also buff their Muscle as much as possible. Choices usually only have to be made between what equipment to wear. From the HP page, Muscle classes want to wear an outfit that has the maximum value of
1.5 × EquipmentMuscleBuff + EquipmentHPBuff
whereas other classes should wear the outfit that has the maximum value of
EquipmentMuscleBuff + EquipmentHPBuff
Dressing Up

Mus · Mys · Mox · HP · MP · WDmg · SDmg · Init
DA · DR · Res · FightStats · ML · Items · Meat · HP Regen · MP Regen
Adv · PvP · Fam Wt · Crit · Diving


Mus · Mys · Mox · HP · MP · WDmg · SDmg · Init
DA · DR · Res · FightStats · XPBoost · ML · Items · Meat · HP Regen · MP Regen
Adv · PvP · Fam Wt · Crit · Diving

PrismDmg · RDmg · SCrit · Fumb · Stun · Passive Dmg
MP Cost · Spell Elts · Combat% · Hobo · Smith · Poison
Stat Limit

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