There are 7 creatures filed under X.
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X Bottles of Beer on a Golem
- Most beer-bottle golems are stocked with Willer High Life, so people won't be tempted to drink from them.
- The beer-bottle golem's only natural predator is the bottle-opener golem.
- A Knob Goblin scientist once harnessed a cold-spot-producing ghost to a beer-bottle golem, making a sort of living beer fridge. That scientist would be the richest goblin in the Kingdom if he had figured out how to suppress the golem's urge to kill.
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X Stone Golem
- This is one of Fernswarthy's earliest known examples of golem-crafting. Note the simple block-shaped head, indicitive of the artist still searching for his own individual style.
- Nobody knows what this type of golem is made of, but it seems to vary tremendously in weight. Maybe birds?
- These golems also have the least personality of Fernswarthy's various golemic creations, so, um... yeah.
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X-Dimensional Horror
- This particular horror is a little more horrifying than the colour out of space, but not as unpleasant as the odor out of time.
- It's not true that killing your alternate dimension selves will make you stronger. But it *is* awfully satisfying, especially if you're full of self-loathing.
- Scientists estimate there are at least 1.5 trillion alternate dimensions. The only constant between them is that wasps sting and don't make honey. Seriously. Screw wasps.
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X-fingered Shop Teacher
- Mr. Jenkins runs his shop class like a captain runs a ship: with corporal punishment and a whole lot of rum.
- On his days off, Mr. Jenkins whittles sticks into toothpicks, then glues the toothpicks together into sticks.
- Mr. Jenkins talks about the days when he was a student at KOLHS, but never mentions that it was during the reign of King Yore I.
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X-Headed Hydra
- The plural of Hydra is "Hydrae," or possibly "Hydrox."
- The Hydra has many throats but only one stomach. Hydrae frequently overeat themselves to death on feast holidays.
- Some Hydrae breathe fire, apparently because just having dozens of hungry mouths full of razor-sharp teeth doesn't make them dangerous enough.
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Xiblaxian political prisoner
- Xiblaxian politics are incomprehensibly complex, both because they are Xiblaxian and because they are politics.
- You know how our politicians are divided up into different parties? So are theirs, but there are a negative number of parties.
- Which is fine, because parties with politicians at them are freakin' boring, anyway.
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XXX pr0n
- XXX pr0ns are delicious when boiled and served with cocktail sauce. Just don't let your friends see you eating 'em.
- XXX pr0ns are high in mercury, though, so don't eat a bunch at once.
- Make sure you boil your pr0ns for at least an hour, and clear your menu history when you're done.
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References
- Killing your alternate dimension selves as a way to gain power is the plot of the movie The One.
- Killing your alternate dimension selves being satisfying is a reference to Rincewind from the Discworld books, who sometimes imagined killing a hypothetical happier version of himself from an alternate universe.
