Muff

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Muff
Monster ID 536
Locations The Hole in the Sky
Hit Points 150
Attack 153
Defense 137
No-Hit 163
Initiative 70
Meat None
Phylum constellation
Elements sleaze
Resistance None
Monster Parts aperture, body, star
Drops
line, line, star
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Muff You're fighting The Muff

This constellation is shaped like a muff, one of those furry tubes women supposedly use to keep their hands warm during the winter.

Hit Message(s):

It lowers itself over you. It's hot in there! Hot hot hot! Argh! Ouch! Eek! Oof! (hot damage)

It smacks you right in the mouth. You let out a muffled scream. Ugh! Argh! Ow! Argh! (sleaze damage)

The muff gets rough. You try to hang tough, but it calls your bluff. Argh! Ooh! Ouch! Ow! (sleaze damage)

You strike out with your fist and manage to get your whole fist inside the muff. Oddly enough, you're the one who feels violated. Ooh! Ooh! Ouch! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

It somehow manages to trick you into putting your hands in each end. You find nothing in there but boiling hot gas and pain. Lots and lots of pain. Ooh! Ow! Ugh! Ouch! (hot damage)

Miss Message(s):

It tries to lower itself over you, but you dodge.

It tries to smack you in the mouth, but the smack is muffled.

The muff tries to get rough, but you're pretty buff, so you hang tough.

You try to punch the muff, but your fist won't fit inside. Dude. I'll be over here.

Fumble Message:

It tries to trick you into putting your hands inside it, but you demurr. Stupid muff -- it's not so tough. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Star.gifYou acquire an item: star (30% chance)*
Line.gifYou acquire an item: line (30% chance)*
Line.gifYou acquire an item: line (30% chance)*
You gain 38.25 <substat>.

Occurs at The Hole in the Sky.

References

  • The name of this monster is a euphemism for female genitalia and many of the attack messages reference the sexual act of fisting.
  • "Hot in there!" may be a reference to Nelly's song "Hot in Herre", while "Hot! Hot! Hot!" may come from Buster Poindexter's song of the same name.
  • The critical hit message may refer to the nerve induction device used by Reverend Mother Mohiam in Dune.