Oil cartel

Oil cartel
Monster ID	1238
Locations	Oil Peak
Hit Points	60
Attack	85
Defense	77
Initiative	90
Meat	None
Phylum	slime
Elements	sleaze
Resistance	75% elemental
Monster Parts	oil, pseudopod
Drops bubblin' crude, bubblin' crude, bubblin' crude
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting an oil cartel

Three separate geysers of oil erupt from the ground in front of you, taking the form of three giant hulking dudes who don't seem to like you very much.

OR

A river of oil running in front of you rises up and takes on the rudimentary forms of three big, tough oily dudes. Y'know, like guys who would be bouncers at an oil bar, if there was such a thing as an oil bar.

Hit Message(s):

One of them knees you in the groin with an oily patella. What a wonderful phrase! Eek! Ow! Ow! Ow! Argh! (sleaze damage)

The three of them run past you, and each slaps you in the face as he goes by. Jerks. Argh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Oof! (sleaze damage)

One of them slaps you in the <skull>, while another slaps you in the <arse>. The third one just watches and laughs. Oof! Ooh! Oof! Ugh! Eek! (sleaze damage)

One of them pokes your eyes with two oily fingers. Nyuk nyuk. Ouch! Ow! Argh! Ow! Ow! (sleaze damage)

Critical Hit Message:

The first one punches you in the solar plexus, the second one pokes you in the eye, and the third one whacks you in the kneecaps. By Terry Silver's standards, you now can't fight. (CRITICAL HIT!) Ow! Oof! Ooh! Ugh! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

One of them slaps another on the back of his head, while the third pokes the first in the eyes.

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After Combat

After the battle:

The rumbling, groaning peak beneath you relaxes a little, and stays still and quiet like the ground ought to be. The pressure on the peak seems to have dropped significantly, at least for now.

And, if you are wearing dress pants:

Your dress pants manage to soak up a little more of the oil from the ground, too. Dammit.

You acquire an item: bubblin' crude (100% chance)*

You acquire an item: bubblin' crude (30% chance)*

You acquire an item: bubblin' crude (10% chance)*

You gain 23.5 <substat>.

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Occurs at Oil Peak with at least +100 Monster Level active.

Notes

• This monster counts as a group (of size three). It takes manifold damage from area-of-effect skills such as Wave of Sauce.
• This monster will hit you every round. You cannot out-moxie it.
• This monster resists all multi-round stuns.
• This monster resists 75% of all elemental damage.
  • With simultaneous resistance and vulnerability to Cold Damage and Spooky Damage, the damage penalty is only 50% for these elements.

References

• Many of the hit messages reference The Three Stooges.
• The "wonderful phrase" hit message references The Lion King.
• Terry Silver is the antagonist of The Karate Kid: Part 3. In the movie, he says, at various times: "A man can't stand, he can't fight", "A man can't breathe, he can't fight", and "A man can't see, he can't fight".