Oil tycoon

Oil tycoon
Monster ID	1236
Locations	Oil Peak
Hit Points	60
Attack	85
Defense	77
Initiative	65
Meat	None
Phylum	slime
Elements	sleaze
Resistance	25% elemental
Monster Parts	oil, pseudopod
Drops bubblin' crude, bubblin' crude
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting an oil tycoon

The ground cracks open, and a gushing font of oil slowly takes the shape of a burly guy with a big fat stogie.

"No blood for oil!" you shout.

"We'll see about that, friend," he burbles.

or:

The ground splits in front of you, and a bubbling spurt (the second most nasty-sounding innocent word, after "furtive") of oil quickly takes the shape of a fat guy in a cowboy hat. "There will be oil," he says, "oh, yes, there will be oil."

or:

The ground cracks in front of you and a fountain of oil springs up out of it. It takes the form of a portly guy in a ten-gallon hat (or maybe just eight quarts) and a giant dripping stogie. "Time for me to drink your milkshake," he burbles.

Hit Message(s):

He stabs you with a straw and drinks your milkshake, and by milkshake, I mean blood. Ooh! Ow!

He says, "you're a bastard from a basket," and slaps you in the <skull> with a pseudopod. Ow! Eek! (sleaze damage)

He puts his stogie out on your <arm>. Since it wasn't an actual stogie but instead a pseudopod made of oil, it's more gross than painful. Ugh! Eek! (sleaze damage)

He says, "One night I'm gonna come to you, inside of your house, wherever you're sleeping, and I'm gonna cut your throat," then he decides not to wait. Ugh! Oof!

Critical Hit Message:

He upends his ten-gallon hat all over you. You're covered in oil, and all you can smell is oil, and all you can taste is oil, and yuck. (CRITICAL HIT!) Ooh! Ugh! (sleaze damage)

Miss Message(s):

He tries to put his stogie out on you, but since it's just an oil pseudopod, he's not particularly successful.

---

After Combat

You acquire an item: bubblin' crude (100% chance)*

You acquire an item: bubblin' crude (10% chance)*

You gain ? <substat>.

After the battle:

As the tycoon splashes back to the ground, your ears pop as the oil pressure on the peak drops (and thus the pressure in the air around you. Just go with it, okay?).

And, if you are wearing dress pants:

Your dress pants manage to soak up a little more of the oil from the ground, too. Dammit.

Notes

• Occurs at Oil Peak with +20 to +49 Monster Level active. Monster Aggravation Devices count.
• This monster will hit you every round. You cannot out-moxie it.
• This monster has a 50% chance of shrugging off multi-round stuns each round, including the round they are used. If a stun is shrugged off instead of wearing off normally the monster will also attack that round.
• This monster resists 25% of all elemental damage.
  • With simultaneous resistance and vulnerability to Cold Damage and Spooky Damage, they take a net 50% extra damage from these attacks.

References

• This character refers to Daniel Plainview, the protagonist of the film There Will Be Blood. Most of his lines are quotations from the film, including references to a "bastard from a basket," the cutting of throats, and drinking of milkshakes.
• "No blood for oil" was a popular slogan used by protesters against the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003.