Perpendicular bat

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Perpendicular bat
Monster ID 47
Locations Guano Junction
Hit Points 12
Attack 18
Defense 18
No-Hit 28
Initiative 60
Meat 24-36
Phylum beast
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, wing, torso
batgut, bat wing, sonar-in-a-biscuit
Accordion guancertina
Manuel perpendicular guano
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
perpendicular bat You're fighting a perpendicular bat

This bat is perpendicular to the ground! That makes it totally different from a regular bat!

Hit Message(s):

It flies in perpendicularly and sinks its perpendicular fangs into your neck. Perpendicular. Eek! Eek! Argh!

It rotates you in the <shoulder>. Oof! Eek!

It makes a hole perpendicular to your jugular vein. Blood spirals the wrong way out of the hole. Eek! Argh! Eek!

It flies in at a right angle and batters you with its claws. Ow! Argh! Ow!

Critical Hit Message:

It spins around madly and sinks its fangs into your neck. It manages to take a big circular hole out of your <lower back>. Ow! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

It tries to sink its perpendicular fangs into your neck, but you leap up and spin-dodge, Matrix style. Aww yeah.

It tries to rotate you in the <forehead>, but you dodge.

It tries to make a hole perpendicular to your jugular vein, but you dodge.

It tries to batter you with its claws, but you bat it away. Batter up!

Fumble Message:

It spins around madly, trying to sink its fangs into you and cut you open. Fortunately, it just gets dizzy and collapses to the ground. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 24-36 Meat (average: 30, stdev: 2.83)*
Batgut.gifYou acquire an item: batgut (15% chance)*
Batwing.gifYou acquire an item: bat wing (15% chance)*
Biscuit.gifYou acquire an item: sonar-in-a-biscuit (10% chance)*
Perpguano.gifYou acquire an item: perpendicular guano (?? chance)*
You gain 4-5 <substat>.

Occurs at Guano Junction.


  • The image for this bat is the regular old bat's image, turned sideways.
  • If you are an Accordion Thief and haven't stolen an accordion from this monster today, this text is added to the introduction:
    Past the bat's topmost wing, you spy an accordion, half-submerged in a gloopy pile of bat guano.
  • If you then cast Steal Accordion:
    You hold your nose with one hand, distract the bat with the other, and grab the accordion with the remaining two.
    Acc4.gifYou acquire an item: guancertina


  • "Blood spirals the wrong way out of the hole," is a reference to the They Might Be Giants song Ana Ng, only with "water" instead of "blood" and "sink" instead of "hole."