Possessed Jar of Alphredo™

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Possessed Jar of Alphredo™
Monster ID 1463
Locations every 35-40 adventures during Peripatetic Pasta
Hit Points  ?
Attack  ?
Defense unknown
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum weird
Elements stench
Resistance 100%
Monster Parts unknown
Drops
blob of Alphredo™, blob of Alphredo™
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Possessed Jar of Alphredo™ You're fighting a Possessed Jar of Alphredo™

This is a jar of pasta sauce which goes by the brand name "Alphredo™." It can't legally be called Alfredo sauce, since it contains no cream, parmesan cheese, or garlic, but it's chock-full of artificial flavors to attempt to emulate all of those ingredients. As such, it's got a chemical undertone and a sour dairy topnote, and it's only food in the strictest sense of "provides calories and doesn't immediately kill you."

Hit Message(s):

It slings its lid at you, smearing gross Alphredo™ sauce on you. Ouch! Ouch! Eek! Ooh! (stench damage)

It sprays foul-smelling Alphredo™ at you. Ow! Ooh! Eek! Ouch! (stench damage)

It sprays some Alphredo™ sauce at you, and some of it gets in your mouth. Worse, some of it gets in your nose. Ugh! Oof! Oof! Oof! (stench damage)

It bonks you with its jar, spilling gross sauce on you at the same time. Argh! Ugh! Ooh! Ouch! (stench damage)

It smashes you with its jar, hard enough to crack it and let some Alphredo™ sauce leak out and reek. Ow! Ouch! Ugh! Eek! (stench damage)

It tips over and spills foul-smelling Alphredo™ sauce all over your feet. Gross, now your feet smell even worse than usual. Ow! Ooh! Ow! Eek! (stench damage)

Critical Hit Message:

It upends itself over your head, coating your whole head in foul-smelling Alphredo™ sauce. It fills your mouth and nostrils, and you don't know which is worse. Ooh! Ow! Ouch! Oof! (stench damage)

Miss Message(s):

It slings its lid at you, but you flip over the lid.

It sprays Alphredo™ sauce at you, but you dodge like a cheezy whiz.

It sprays some Alphredo™ sauce at you, but you've seen the Exorcist so you knew it was coming.

It tries to bonk you in the head with its jar, but you're no jarhead, and you dodge.

It tries to smash you with its jar, but your dodging skills are simply smashing.

It tries to spill sauce on your feet, but you're light enough on your feet to dodge.

Fumble Message:

It points out that it tastes and smells much better heated, and goes to find a stove so it can prove the point. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Alphredo.gifYou acquire an item: blob of Alphredo™ (??% chance)*
Alphredo.gifYou acquire an item: blob of Alphredo™ (??% chance)*
Alphredo.gifYou acquire an item: blob of Alphredo™ (??% chance)*

Appears as a wandering monster, part of the mysticality class revamp.