Procrastination Giant

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Procrastination Giant
Monster ID 170
Locations The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky (Ground Floor)
Hit Points 150
Attack 125
Defense 112
No-Hit 135
Initiative 0
Meat 120-180
Phylum humanoid
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, torso
Drops
procrastination potion
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Procrastination Giant You're fighting a Procrastination Giant

This is an extremely lazy giant. He never does today what he could put off until tomorrow. Too bad throwing down with you couldn't be put off until tomorrow.

Hit Message(s):

He cunctates you in the <throat>. Ow! Oof! Ugh! Oof! Argh! Argh!

He decides to put off not hitting you in the <lower back> until tomorrow. Argh! Ow! Ow! Oof! Ouch! Ugh!

He decides to put off not kicking your ass until tomorrow. Ow! Ooh! Argh! Argh!

Critical Hit Message:

He stands there, barely moving. You slowly look up to the calendar on the wall. Two weeks ago, there's a note that reads "beat up intruders!" The giant follows your gaze and decides it's time to actually follow that instruction. Ooh! Ow! Argh! Ugh!

Miss Message(s):

He started to cunctate you in the <arm>, but never got around to it.

He decides to put off hitting you in the <ankle> until tomorrow.

He decides to put off kicking your ass until tomorrow.

Fumble Message:

The procrastination giant stands there, barely moving. After a while, you hear a quiet snore. Looks like he fell asleep standing up again. You tip him onto his back, chuckling as he tries to stand back up. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Meat.gifYou gain 120-180 Meat (average: 150, stdev: 12.65)*
Potion1.gifYou acquire an item: procrastination potion (25% chance)*
You gain 31.25 <substat>.

Occurs at The Castle in the Clouds in the Sky (Ground Floor).

Notes

  • Due the Procrastination Giant's extremely lazy nature, he has zero initiative -- you will always get the jump on him. You will always have the ability to run away from him.
  • It is necessary for the Procrastination Giant to be guarding the back door when using the giant castle map.
  • If you hit the Procrastination Giant with a melee weapon, his tendency to procrastinate will be transmitted to you. Use combat items (such as plot holes), non-weapon combat skills (such as Pastamancer and Sauceror spells, but not Thrust-Smack), or a ranged weapon to avoid this:
"The giant sneezes on you, and you feel feverish."
Disease.gifYou acquire an effect: Cunctatitis
(duration: 5 Adventures)

References

  • The phrase regarding this giant's work ethic is a twist on the phrase "Never put off until tomorrow what you could do today."
  • The fumble message is a reference to cow tipping, an alleged activity of pushing over a sleeping cow.
  • "You feel feverish" is the line seen in NetHack when you gain lycanthropy. If you play NetHack, this is something you dread when fighting a lycanthrope.