Quiet Healer

Quiet Healer
Monster ID	161
Locations	The Penultimate Fantasy Airship
Hit Points	90
Attack	95
Defense	85
No-Hit	105
Initiative	80
Meat	92-138
Phylum	dude
Elements	None
Resistance	None
Monster Parts	head, arm, leg, torso
Drops amulet of extreme plot significance, scroll of drastic healing, soft green echo eyedrop antidote
Manuel	Tears of the Quiet Healer
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data

 You're fighting a Quiet Healer

This is a quiet girl who is probably the last survivor of some ancient race of extremely quiet, extremely Magical people. After being improbably rescued from either the government or some evil empire by the Protagonist, she quietly stands by his side, quietly casting healing spells on him. He's not here to protect her now, though...

Hit Message(s):

... ... ... in the <arm>. Oof! Oof!

... ... ... right in your <giblets>. Argh! Ooh!

Critical Hit Message:

She quietly stands in front of you, mumbling something under her breath. She somehow manages to anti-cure you -- which is a lot the same as hurting you. Ouch! Ugh! Ow! Ugh! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

... ... ..., but misses.

Fumble Message:

She stands in front of you, mumbling something under her breath. She finishes the spell, and bright light surrounds a spot immediately to your left. "Damn," she says, then, "I mean -- ... ... ..." (FUMBLE!)

Special Move(s):

By force of habit, she heals you instead of attacking you. You'd thank her, but she wouldn't say you were welcome.

You gain 15-20 hit points.

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After Combat

You gain 92-138 Meat (average: 115, stdev: 9.79)*

You acquire an item: amulet of extreme plot significance (10.4% chance)*

You acquire an item: scroll of drastic healing (30.8% chance)*

You acquire an item: soft green echo eyedrop antidote (29.6% chance)*

You gain 23-24 <substat>.

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Occurs at The Penultimate Fantasy Airship.

Notes

• The hit message used to be "She slaps you in the <forehead>" in former times, the miss message "She tries to slap you in the <leg>, but misses."

References

• The Quiet Healer is a parody of a common RPG archetype: a female character who serves solely as a support/healing spellcaster in combat. Examples include Aeris from Final Fantasy VII, and Fina from Skies of Arcadia, who both were "the last survivor of some ancient race of extremely quiet, extremely Magical people" and were "rescued from an evil government." Another possible reference is Arc from Final Fantasy III, also a quiet child more interested in books than fighting, but is in fact a boy, and not a girl.
• The fumble text also parodies RPGs like Final Fantasy in that the system for casting magic sometimes lets you cast your spells on various objects, players, and enemies. It is not uncommon, in the heat of a battle, to accidentally choose the wrong target for a spell.
• The "... ... ..." may refer to the "Silence" status effect which renders the user unable to cast magic spells (such as healing), and is represented by ellipses in the Final Fantasy games. Or possibly just to the quietness of the healer.
• In Final Fantasy III and "Final Fantasy II", it is possible to harm undead monsters by casting a healing spell on them, thus "Anti-Curing" them.
• A common exploit used by griefers in Phantasy Star Online is to heal players by a negative amount, which cannot be resisted or avoided and is not subject to the normal PvP rules.
• The Quiet Healer could also be a reference to Dagger in Final Fantasy IX who was one of two survivors of an "ancient race of extremely quiet, extremely Magical people", "rescued from an evil government by the Protagonist". The "... ... ..." could also be a reference to Dagger due to the fact that roughly halfway through the game, she loses the ability to speak and her dialogue is replaced by "... ... ...".