Rene C. Corman (Zombie Slayer)
For the fight during the Skeleton Invasion of 2010, see here.
|Rene C. Corman|
|Locations||The Sorceress' Chamber|
|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
"All right, my dear," says a familiar voice. "You've had your fun. I'll handle it from here."
The tentacled abomination vanishes with a howl and a puff of smoke, which quickly dissipates to reveal the robed and sneering form of...
"The foul necromancer Rene C. Corman!" you growl. "I probably suspected you were the one behind all of this!"
"Indeed," he says, "though that's not the name I'm known by this time around."
"What, are you back to being Bigg?"
"No, in this time period, they call me... Christobal Colon." He -coughs- into a colorful blanket, and gives you a wicked grin.
"W...what? But the gray plague was years ago!"
Corman -- or Colon, or whatever -- raises an eyebrow, and smirks. "Oh really? And what year do you think it is right now?"
"But... anyway, this scheme is pointless! The Council found a cure! Or, um, will find, I guess. Ofuxxor™ wiped out... will have wiped out the gray plague!"
"Well, that's the great thing about time-travel, isn't it?" Corman says. "If at first you don't succeed, try try again."
"Not if I try you first, you horrible bastard!"
He opens his mouth really wide and coughs horrible clouds of plague germs at you. Argh, gross! Oof! Ooh! Argh! Argh! Eek! Oof! Ooh!
Corman summons several skeletons, who burst out of the ground and beat the hell out of you, grinning and clacking all the while. Jerks. Oof! Argh! Argh! Argh! Ouch! Oof! Eek!
Corman drains your life energy with an awesome purple lightning bolt. Oh jeez, I'm sorry, I didn't mean awesome -- it's terrible and painful! And totally rad. Ow! Ooh! Eek! Eek! Ooh! Argh! Ooh!
Greenish-black necrotic energy pours out of Corman's hands and into your body. It feels really really gross. Oof! Ooh! Ugh! Ow! Ouch! Ugh! Argh! Eek! Argh!
Corman magically controls your undead body, forcing you to beat yourself up. "Stop hitting yourself!" he chortles. "Stop hitting yourself!" Bastard! (CRITICAL HIT!) Oof! Argh! Oof! Ow! Oof! Oof! Ow!
He opens his mouth really wide and coughs horrible clouds of plague germs at you, but you're pretty thoroughly plagued already. You offer him a lozenge.
Corman attempts to summon several skeletons, but you're at the top of a tall stone tower, so there's no appropriate ground for them to burst out of.
Corman attempts to drain your life energy, but it turns out you haven't got any, and oh yeah, he's kind of the reason for that. Hoist by his own petard!
Greenish-black necrotic energy pours out of Corman's hands and then sort of floats ineffectually around the room in sickly clouds. Stupid necrotic energy.
Corman orders your zombie minions to attack you, but they ignore him. Hah! Looks like they know which side on which their bread is buttered! (FUMBLE!)
- Upon defeating him:
- "You... fool!" Corman gasps, stumbling to his knees. "You pathetic, deluded fool! There's nothing you can do to stop me! I've already prevented the invention of Ofuxxor™ -- I've already won! I'll claim a new body to replace this one, and after the Council inevitably turns to the nuclear option, I'll return to dance in the flames!"
- "Why you... you..." you stutter, enraged.
- "And furthermore, you're mine, <boy/girl>. The hunger has you, and it always will! Even if you somehow manage to rescue everyone else, I'll always have the satisfaction of knowing that you're my creature. My plaything!"
- "Okay, now you're just being creepy." You deal the killing blow, and Corman's flesh quickly turns to dust, leaving behind a withered gray skeleton, which you kick out of the window.
|You acquire an item: Instant Karma (100.0% if player is at level 13; otherwise, 0% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: Thwaitgold maggot statuette|
- Has 35% physical resistance and 35% elemental resistance.
- This guy's name is still an anagram of "Necromancer".
- Corman is referring to the Grey plague event, which a Zombie Slayer run is apparently displacing via Time Travel. Cristobal Colon was the name of the sock puppet player who passed out the comfy blankets which Corman is -coughing- into.