SMOOCH general
| SMOOCH general | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1796 |
| Locations | The SMOOCH Army HQ |
| Hit Points | 75% of Defense |
| Attack | Player's Moxie+30 |
| Defense | Player's Muscle+30 |
| Initiative | 0 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | hot |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg, torso |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a SMOOCH generalThis guy is undoubtedly one of the SMOOCH Army's generals. The lines of his makeup are so clean, it must have been applied with a straightedge, and the spikes on his shoulderpads appear to be chromed railroad spikes. Plus, his boot-soles are like four feet tall.
Hit Message(s):
He punches you with a fist that has the weight of his entire jacket behind it.
He roars incomprehensibly at you, and two of his shoulder-spikes launch out of his jacket like missiles and spear you in the <arse>.
He howls something at you that might be song lyrics, but what with all the blood gushing from your ears, it's difficult to tell.
He pulls out what is either a guitar shaped like a battle-axe, or a battle-axe with guitar strings on it. Either way, it hurts when he hits you with it.
He tramples you with his ridiculously tall boots, which it turns out are also ridiculously heavy. (CRITICAL HIT!) Oof! Oof! Eek!
He tries to punch you, but you stoop down a little bit and he can't reach you. Because his boots are too tall, see?
He pulls out a little mirror and an eyeliner pencil, and touches-up his makeup slightly.
He howls something that might be song lyrics? You aren't sure, because you put your hands over your ears as soon as he opened his mouth.
He pulls out a battle-axe-shaped guitar, but stops to tune it before attacking you.
He stops to adjust the support straps that allow him to walk around with sixty pounds of metal on his jacket without throwing his back out. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: SMOOCH soda (% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: heat-resistant sheet metal (20% chance)* |
| You acquire an item: heat-resistant sheet metal (20% chance)* |
| You acquire an item: heat-resistant sheet metal (20% chance)* |
Occurs at The SMOOCH Army HQ.
Notes
- Deals damage when attacking with a melee weapon:
- You accidentally impale yourself on one of his shoulder-mounted railroad spikes!
 | You lose 280-300? hit points. |
