Sorority Nurse
| Sorority Nurse | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 508 |
| Locations | The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues) |
| Hit Points | 200 |
| Attack | 170 |
| Defense | 157 |
| No-Hit | 185 |
| Initiative | 30 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | orc |
| Elements | sleaze |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | arm, head, leg, torso |
| Manuel | scrunchie tourniquet |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a Sorority NurseThis is, like, a pre-med student at whatever university the frat boys attend? And she, like, joined a sorority because sisterhood is almost as important as, like, saving people? And the frat boys, like, totally recruited her to help out on the battlefield?
Hit Message(s):
She forces a pill down your mouth, then says "oops, that was supposed to be a suppository?" Well, that explains the flavor. Ouch! Ooh! Ow! Eek! (sleaze damage)
She notices a cut on your neck and wraps gauze around it. Around your neck, that is. And a little too tightly for comfort. *gasp!* Ooh! Oof! Argh! Ow!
She notices a cut on your arm and pours rubbing alcohol in it. "It's, like, for sanitation?" she says, while you howl in agony. Ugh! Ouch! Ouch! Ugh!
She hits your knee with a hammer to test your reflexes. You scream and tell her doctors usually use a rubber mallet, not a ball-peen hammer. Oof! Ouch! Ow! Ooh!
She fills a giant syringe with some glowing green liquid and pokes you with it. You develop a superpower, which is the amazing ability to writhe on the floor in horrible pain. Argh! Ow! Ouch! Ugh!
She tries to give you a suppository, but you're not going for any of that kinky stuff.
She applies gauze to one of your wounds. It doesn't help much, but it doesn't hurt.
She tries to test your reflexes, but you reflexively dodge.
She tries to pour rubbing alcohol on your wounds, but you tell her the frat boys would be mad at her for wasting alcohol.
She puts a band-aid on your <giblets> and rips it off really fast. Fortunately, you don't have any hair on your <face>, so it didn't hurt at all. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: energy drink IV (18.5% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: gauze garter (20.2% chance)* |
| You acquire an item: gauze garter (7.3% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: kick-ass kicks (1.8% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: PADL Phone (3.0% chance)* |
| You gain 42-43 <substat>. |
Occurs at The Battlefield (War Hippy Fatigues).
References
- The critical hit message may be a reference to The 4400, which involves a glowing green liquid Promicin, which either gives its recipient a superpower or kills the recipient.
- It also may be a reference to the 8 November 2006 edition of the webcomic Basic Instructions
