Soused Stuffing Golem

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Soused Stuffing Golem
Monster ID 1068
Locations Appears about every 30 adventures on Drunksgiving
Hit Points 75% of Player HP
Attack Player's Buffed Moxie - 3
Defense Player's Buffed Muscle - 3
Initiative Indeterminate
Meat None
Phylum Indeterminate
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts Indeterminate
Drops
breaded beer
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Soused Stuffing Golem You're fighting a Soused Stuffing Golem

This is a golem composed entirely of bread cubes, herbs, and celery soaked in whiskey and green beer. Looks like someone's been hitting the St. Sneaky Pete's Day celebrations pretty hard.

Hit Message(s):

He claps a mushy arm over your face. It's like being smothered with a whiskey-drenched pillow, or hugging your mom. Eek! Argh! Ugh! Argh!

He hits you with a soggy fist. It doesn't hurt, but it's definitely gross. Ow! Oof! Eek! Ouch! (sleaze damage)

He slaps you with a mushy hand and you get some whiskey in your eye. Argh! Ooh! Ugh! Oof!

He stuffs his arm down your throat. Blech! Ow! Ugh! Ow! Ouch!

Critical Hit Message:

He falls down on top of you, trapping you beneath a mountain of mushy, boozy bread. Ouch! Ugh! Ow! Ooh!

Miss Message(s):

He tries to suffocate you with a mushy arm, but you breathe through your ears.

He hits you with a soggy fist, but it's too soft to hurt.

He slaps you with a mushy hand. Like suicide, it's painless. Unlike suicide, it doesn't kill you.

He tries to stuff you like a turkey, but you're not having any of that stuff.

Fumble Message:

He collapses in a heap, to sodden and soused to move another inch. You wait while he sleeps it off a little. (FUMBLE!)


After Combat

Juice.gifYou acquire an item: breaded beer
You gain some <substat>.

Occurs at random locations during Drunksgiving. Scales to the player's stats.

Notes

  • This monster cannot be copied.

References