Striking Pencil-Pusher Elf

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Striking Pencil-Pusher Elf
Monster ID 320
Locations Crimbo Town Toy Factory (2005)
Hit Points Scales with player stats
Attack Scales with player stats
Defense Scales with player stats
Initiative 0
Meat None
Phylum elf
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts arm, head, leg, torso
felt, googly eye, length of string, stuffing, toy wheel, wooden block
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Striking Pencil-Pusher Elf You're fighting a Striking Pencil-Pusher Elf

This elf sits in a little cubicle all day long, pushing pencils from one side of his desk to the other. No one's exactly sure what he does, but everyone's just a little bit afraid to fire him. They do keep stealing his special red hammer, though.

Hit Message(s):

He smacks you with one beefy hand, all the while muttering "they said I could have my own hammer, it's red and if I don't get it back I'll burn the factory down..." Argh! Argh! Ouch!

He kicks you with his pointy little shoes, all the while complaining about having his cubicle moved to the basement. Eek! Ooh! Ooh! Argh! Ugh! Ouch! Ooh!

He lurches forward and sets your foot on fire! He always said he was going to do that some day. Ow! Ugh! Ooh! Argh! Ooh! Ouch!

Miss Message(s):

He doesn't attack, but just stands there mumbling about how he's going to burn down the toy factory.

He doesn't attack, just stands there mumbling about merry squirrels and his red hammer.

He starts to attack you, but sees his precious red hammer lying on the ground and just stands there cradling it.

After Combat

Felt.gifYou acquire an item: felt (9.3% chance)*
Googlyeye.gifYou acquire an item: googly eye (9.7% chance)*
String.gifYou acquire an item: length of string (9.7% chance)*
Dough.gifYou acquire an item: stuffing (10.4% chance)*
Woodwheel.gifYou acquire an item: toy wheel (11.2% chance)*
Tofu.gifYou acquire an item: wooden block (11.4% chance)*

Occurred at Crimbo Town Toy Factory (2005) (without Unionize The Elves sign equipped).


  • This creature's lines are from the character Milton from the SNL animated short of the same name, later in the film Office Space. The red hammer is the red Swingline stapler, which he finally gets back after burning down his workplace, and the line about "merry squirrels" is a common misquotation of the line "I could see the squirrels, and they were married," which the writers say is Milton's way of saying the squirrels were having sex. Jick may have re-written the line to fit with the Crimbo spirit, or may have misheard it like many others have.