Suffering Juniper
| Suffering Juniper | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 1123 |
| Locations | The Clumsiness Grove |
| Hit Points | 75% of Monster Defense |
| Attack | Player's Moxie+2 (min 10, max 150) |
| Defense | Player's Muscle+2 (min 10, max 150) |
| Initiative | 50 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | plant |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | leaf, trunk, branch, root |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting the Suffering JuniperIn the Land of Bar-Blork, where the Fuffle-birds fly,
Lived the Sultan of Faddle, so fond of his pie.
He ate pie every evening! Each morning and noon!
He ate pie with a fork! He ate pie with a spoon!
'Til he tried to eat pie on a Fuffle-bird's back,
But his weight was too much, and the Fuffle-back cracked!
So the Sultan of Faddle bid Bar-Blork goodbye!
He should never have tried for that pie in the sky.
Hit Message(s):
You trip, stub your toe on a juniper root,
Fall down, skin your knee, and get mocked by a newt.
The juniper gathers up berries and pelts
You with them, which leaves many berry-shaped welts.
The juniper whacks your left shin with a branch
In the matter of wounding you, It's got carte blanche!
The juniper slashes your face with a needle,
Your outlook is looking as black as Don Cheadle.
The tree wraps a branch 'round your neck, and it squeezes,
And your curses and threats turn to gaspings and wheezes. (CRITICAL HIT!)
The juniper slashes a furious slash!
But it makes a hash of that slash! It was too rash!
The juniper tree ties to pelt you with berries
But you're light on your feet just like sugar-fruit fairies.
The juniper lashes at you with a branch,
But you don't flinch a bit! No, you don't even blanch!
You almost get tripped by a juniper root,
But you don't, so the root's attack's totally moot.
The Sulton of Faddle bemoans his strange doom,
While you sigh and you wait for the fight to resume. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: clumsiness bark (80% chance)* |
| You acquire an item: clumsiness bark (2% chance)* |
 | You acquire an item: berries of suffering (30% chance)* |
Notes
- Hit messages at this time are not normally shown while in The Suburbs of Dis due to the poetry scheme overriding them. Messages acquired via copying monster.
Occurs at The Clumsiness Grove.
