Suffering Juniper

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Suffering Juniper
Monster ID 1123
Locations The Clumsiness Grove
Hit Points 75% of Monster Defense
Attack Player's Moxie+2 (min 10, max 150)
Defense Player's Muscle+2 (min 10, max 150)
Initiative 50
Meat None
Phylum plant
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts leaf, trunk, branch, root
berries of suffering, clumsiness bark, clumsiness bark
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Suffering Juniper You're fighting the Suffering Juniper

In the Land of Bar-Blork, where the Fuffle-birds fly,
Lived the Sultan of Faddle, so fond of his pie.
He ate pie every evening! Each morning and noon!
He ate pie with a fork! He ate pie with a spoon!
'Til he tried to eat pie on a Fuffle-bird's back,
But his weight was too much, and the Fuffle-back cracked!
So the Sultan of Faddle bid Bar-Blork goodbye!
He should never have tried for that pie in the sky.

Hit Message(s):

You trip, stub your toe on a juniper root,
Fall down, skin your knee, and get mocked by a newt.

The juniper gathers up berries and pelts
You with them, which leaves many berry-shaped welts.

The juniper whacks your left shin with a branch
In the matter of wounding you, It's got carte blanche!

The juniper slashes your face with a needle,
Your outlook is looking as black as Don Cheadle.

Critical Hit Message:

The tree wraps a branch 'round your neck, and it squeezes,
And your curses and threats turn to gaspings and wheezes. (CRITICAL HIT!)

Miss Message(s):

The juniper slashes a furious slash!
But it makes a hash of that slash! It was too rash!

The juniper tree ties to pelt you with berries
But you're light on your feet just like sugar-fruit fairies.

The juniper lashes at you with a branch,
But you don't flinch a bit! No, you don't even blanch!

You almost get tripped by a juniper root,
But you don't, so the root's attack's totally moot.

Fumble Message:

The Sulton of Faddle bemoans his strange doom,
While you sigh and you wait for the fight to resume. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Bark3.gifYou acquire an item: clumsiness bark (80% chance)*
Bark3.gifYou acquire an item: clumsiness bark (2% chance)*
Sadberries.gifYou acquire an item: berries of suffering (30% chance)*


  • Hit messages at this time are not normally shown while in The Suburbs of Dis due to the poetry scheme overriding them. Messages acquired via copying monster.

Occurs at The Clumsiness Grove.