Susie Soyburger
| Susie Soyburger | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 964 |
| Locations | The Electric Lemonade Acid Parade |
| Hit Points | 90 |
| Attack | 50 |
| Defense | 36 |
| No-Hit | 60 |
| Initiative | 50 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | humanoid |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg, bun, patty |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting Susie SoyburgerThis is two all-soy patties, vegan sauce, lettuce, cheese substitute, locally-sourced pickles and onions on a gluten-free bun. She's also eight feet tall, has arms, legs, and a head, and seems intent on stomping you into the pavement.
Hit Message(s):
She pelts you with pickles. Man, that's not kosher. Oof! Argh!
She squeezes you between her buns. Man, that sounds like a lot more fun than it is when you're dealing with Susie Soyburger. Oof! Eek!
She punches you with a soy arm. It's kind of like a soy bomb going off on your <groin>. Argh! Ouch!
She kicks you in the <throat> with one soy leg. The meat is fake; the pain is real. Ugh! Ouch!
She falls flat on top of you, suffocating you under her cruelty-free, hypoallergenic, locally-sourced, low-carbon-footprint, health-conscious mass. The irony is not lost on you. Ow! Ooh!
She tries to pelt you with pickles, but she's a pathetic pickle pelter.
She tries to squeeze you between her buns, but you're no anaconda, so you don't want that.
She tries to punch you with a soy arm, but her bun gets in the way.
She tries to kick you, but her bun gets in the way.
She stops to redistribute some of her soy patties among a crowd of hungry, hungry hippies. (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: soyburger juice (100% chance)* |
Occurs at The Electric Lemonade Acid Parade (with 1-9 turns of In Your Cups)
References
- The first part of the description is based off a famous advertising jingle for the McDonald's Big Mac ("Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame-seed bun.")
