Susie Soyburger cast member

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Susie Soyburger cast member
Monster ID 961
Locations The Electric Lemonade Acid Parade
Hit Points 110
Attack 70
Defense 54
No-Hit 80
Initiative 20
Meat None
Phylum dude
Elements None
Resistance None
Monster Parts head, arm, leg, bun, patty
soyburger juice
Manuel Entry
refreshedit data
Susie Soyburger cast member You're fighting a Susie Soyburger cast member

Let us ponder the sadness hierarchy of people who dress in sweaty foam costumes for profit. At the top, you've got your sports mascots; at least they get to watch games for free. Under that are people who dress like non-sports-related animals, then people who dress like inanimate objects, then people who dress like giant anthropomorphic food.

Now go down one more layer of sad, and you've got this poor teenager, who earns her living dressing up as a giant anthropomorphic organic soy hamburger. Maybe you should just let her beat you up -- she could use the ego boost.

Hit Message(s):

She limply flails at you with some wilting foam-rubber lettuce. Lettuce hope she doesn't do it again. Oof! Eek! Ooh!

She kinda smacks you with a big latex pickle. You get a little rash on your <head>. Oof! Ugh! Ugh!

She squishes your <thigh> between her fake bun and her fake fake meat. It's as depressing as it is painful. Oof! Ouch! Ugh!

She pelts you with a few foam rubber sesame seeds. Sez who? Oof! Ooh! Ugh!

Critical Hit Message:

She collapses in a sweaty heap of foam rubber, fake fake meat, and sadness. The saddest part, for you at least, is that she collapses directly on top of you. Argh! Eek! Eek!

Miss Message(s):

She tries to hit you with some lettuce, but you say, "lettuce not get physical, okay?"

She swings a latex pickle at you, but you avoid being tickled by the pickle.

She tries to squish you between her fake bun and her fake fake meat, but gets too depressed to continue.

She throws some foam rubber sesame seeds at you, but you're not open to sesame.

Fumble Message:

She stops and pulls the foam rubber head off of her costume to get a little air. A nearby child sees her do it and is traumatized for life. (FUMBLE!)

After Combat

Soysauce.gifYou acquire an item: soyburger juice (100% chance)*

Occurs at The Electric Lemonade Acid Parade (with no turns of In Your Cups)