Tammy's Tent (2017)

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Tammy.gif

Tammy's Tent appeared in Tammy's Camp during Crimbo 2017.


  • On first visit:
"Oh! <Player Name>! I'm so glad to see you!" Tammy the Crimbo Elf runs up and gives you a big hug. "I've been so scared!" (If you're new here and haven't actually met Tammy before, well, just roll with it I guess?)
"Hi, Tammy," you say. "I didn't expect to see you here. Did something happen in Crimbo Town?"
"Have you seen Crimbo Town?" she squeaks, her eyes wide. "It's crazy! It's like the whole place just sort of... tore open! Like if everything was wrapping paper but instead of a box inside it's just darkness and, and... like static, you know, white noise? Except the opposite, it's black noise, it's silence but not! It's so awful!"
You pat Tammy's shoulder soothingly until she stops babbling and calms down a little. "I'll go check it out," you tell her. "With Uncle Crimbo gone, I guess it's up to us to deal with these things."
"Yeah," she sniffs, wiping one eye with the corner of her tambourine. "I was kind of worried something like this would happen. I mean, Uncle Crimbo isn't gone, he's everywhere... but in some ways that's a lot like being gone. Especially to anyone looking to take advantage of a power vacuum." She hands you a pair of extra-fluffy white cotton balls. "One of the R&D elves I escaped with made these earplugs," she says. "They should filter out the black noise so you can stand to be in there without going nuts."
Crimboplugs.gifYou acquire an item: anti-earplugs
Tammy waves her tambourine excitedly at you. "<Player Name>! You made it back! Did you find out anything?"
"I found out it's super weird in there."
Tammy makes a sort of :/ face. "I was hoping for something a little more... relevatory."
You hand her the shard of crystalline cheer you found. "Well, there's this. Do you know what it is?"
Tammy's eyes go wide as she turns the crystal around in her hand. "Oh my gosh. This is Crimbo cheer! I've never seen it in its crystalline form before!"
"Wait," you say. "By 'Crimbo cheer', you mean the emotional state of happiness and togetherness and sharing and so on, right? Are you telling me that has, like... a physical mass?"
"Um, well..." Tammy cocks her head to the side. "I mean, I'm not a scientist, so I'm not a hundred percent on modern theories of Crimbodynamics, but as I understand it, yeah, it's possible. But it's certainly not a naturally-occurring... occurrence."
"So that means..."
"That means somebody's deliberately extracting Crimbo cheer out of the atmosphere and condensing it into these crystals for some reason."
"...That's bad, right?"
"Well, yeah. A person's brain can't handle this in an, um... undiluted state? You'd smile so big the top of your head would fall off. Also, it isn't an infinite resource. Imagine if someone condensed all the oxygen out of the atmosphere!"
"Okay, yeah. That's bad."
"Real bad. Whoever's behind this, we've got to put a stop to it fast!"
"All right," you nod. "I'll keep poking around and see what I can find out."
"Oh and while you're at it, if you find any mime letters out in the world, bring them back to R&D so the boys can take a look at them. They've got some ideas about how to fight these things, but they need data."
"Mime letters?"
"You'll... uh... know them when you see them."
  • Subsequently, beginning on December 16:
Tammy waves her tambourine at you excitedly as you approach. "Hi, <Player Name>! Good news!"
"Oh yeah? What's that?"
"That's when something nice has happened that I'm going to tell you about! The science elves figured out how to de-crystallize the crystalline cheer you found!"
"Great! So you can get it back into the atmosphere or the aether or wherever it's supposed to be?"
"Wellll... unfortunately, no. We can't get it out of its physical state, so that's still a problem. But we can convert it into a liquid form that can be diluted for cooking, or infused into fabrics and so on." She folds her arms and taps her chin with one finger. "Oddly, we can only make stuff that has the word 'cheer' in it, or some kind of pun related to cheer. Labby -- that's the elf in the lab coat over there, we call him Labby because he's wearing a lab coat -- thinks the cheer condenser must use some kind of language compression algorithm, and this is a side-effect of that? I don't really get it, but the machine is over there." She points her tambourine at a large machine that someone has painted with red and green stripes. "It works pretty much just like a vending machine, try it out!"
  • Subsequently, beginning on December 17:
"Hey, <Player Name>!" Tammy greets you, grinning. "Guess what, guess what!"
"This whole thing turned out to be a big misunderstanding and I can just relax for the rest of the holiday?" you suggest.
"Ha ha, nope! Nearly as good, though! We sent a couple of ninjelves into the spire, and they found an elevator to the second level!"
"Great," you say dubiously. "It isn't an invisible elevator, is it?"
"No, it's a regular one. As regular as things get in there, anyway. The second floor keycard is invisible, though, so be careful with it!" she says, handing you nothing.
"Uh..."
"I've got to go over some more of the weird and confusing reports these guys keep bringing back to me," Tammy says, "so good luck exploring! Be safe, okay?" She waves her tambourine and scampers off.
  • Subsequently, beginning on December 18:
"Heya, Tammy," you say. "Just checking in before I go give some more mimes visible contusions."
"Neat!" she says. "If you get bored of that, we found out what that weird cube thing is to the right of the tower."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, it's some kind of warehouse! A crazy big one too, there's literally a million storage lockers in there. Like, literally literally. It's like an advent calendar for the next forty thousand Crimbos!"
"That's a lot of fruitcake."
"Right?? You need keys to get into the lockers, but the scouts swiped one for you. Here you go!"
"Cool, thanks. I'll check it out."
Mimewhkey.gifYou acquire an item: warehouse key
  • Subsequently, beginning on December 19:
"Morning, Tammy," you say.
"Morning, <Player Name>! Are you ready to beat up more mimes today?"
"You bet. Those guys are extremely punchable."
"You might have to be more careful with the ones on the third floor," Tammy says, pretending to hand you an elevator keycard. "The reports I got back indicate that they may be heavily armed."
"May be?"
"Yeah, well, invisible guns, right? So who knows?"
"Swell."
"Aw, chin up!" Tammy says with an encouraging smile. "Invisible gunshot wounds are probably really easy to treat!"
  • Subsequently, beginning on December 20:
"Hey <Player Name>!" Tammy waves excitedly when she sees you. "We made something really cool for you!"
"I like really cool things," you say.
"Right?? Who doesn't!" She holds up a long metal rod with blinking lights on one end. It's making a soft bleeping noise. "Check it out! It's an invisible pocket probe!"
"It's neither invisible nor pocket-sized, and the idea of probing mimes is worrying to me."
"No no, silly! It's for probing invisible pockets. You know how mimes are always taking invisible stuff out of their pockets? And sometimes it's something that's way bigger than could possibly fit in a pocket, like a bazooka or bagpipes or something?"
"Uh, sure. I guess."
"Well, we figure the mimes must have some kind of invisible extradimensional pocket inside their regular pockets, where they keep that stuff!"
"...Okay, sure," you say, after blinking at Tammy for a few seconds and deciding that she is in fact completely serious. "And this probe..."
"This probe lets you find and access those pockets, so if they're hiding anything good in there you can get extra loot!"
"Gotcha," you nod. "Now I am completely on-board."
Cheerrod.gifYou acquire an item: mime pocket probe
  • Subsequently, beginning on December 21:
Tammy is doing an excited little dance and rattling her tambourine as you approach. "Hiya Tammy," you say. "I'm guessing from your excitement and from the general pattern established so far that your guys have found a copy of the fourth-floor keycard for me?"
Tammy claps her hands to her face, wide-eyed with surprise and admiration. "Gosh, <Player Name>! You're like some kind of super detective or something!" she says, and mimes handing you a keycard.
"It's just experience, honestly."
"Can you deduce what I had for breakfast this morning?"
"Candy."
"WOW!!"
  • Subsequently, beginning on December 22:
"What's new today, Tammy?" you ask.
"Hi, <Player Name>! Not much, really. We found a whole bunch of those warehouse keys, though!"
"Oh, okay. Cool."
"Aw, what's wrong? You seem disappointed."
"Well," you say, "I just kinda figured you guys would've figured out what that other weird building is by now."
"The one that looks like a creepy mime head? Yeah, I'm sorry. None of our operatives want to go near it."
"I guess I can't blame them."
"It kinda reminds me of that spooky clown head on the Nearby Plains! Brr!" Tammy shudders.
"Oh yeah -- it kind of is similar, isn't it?" you say. "And mimes and clowns do seem related, although clowns are demonic and mimes are... something else entirely, I'm pretty sure."
"Must just be one of those coincidences!"
"Yeah, probably."
Mimewhkey.gifYou acquire 10 warehouse keys
  • Subsequently, beginning on December 23:
"Heya, Tammy," you say. "I'm ready to go beat up another day's worth of mimes!"
Tammy gives you a bored look. "Huh? Oh. Right," she mumbles. "Yeah, okay. Whatever."
"Are... are you okay?" you ask. "You don't seem yourself."
"Eh," she shrugs. "I guess I'm just not feeling it today. Mimes. Gross. Meh."
"Aw jeez. The levels of Crimbo cheer in the atmosphere must be getting dangerously low! And you must be feeling the effects extra hard, what with being a Crimbo elf and all."
"Yeah, you think? Go ahead and just spell it all out in exposition, why don't ya." She tosses you an invisible keycard, which you catch, maybe. "Here's the keycard for the last level of the tower, if you think it'll make any difference," she mutters.
"Don't worry, Tammy," you say, patting her shoulder. "I'm gonna put a stop to this and restore you to your sweet, perky self."
She rolls her eyes at you.
  • Subsequent visits before December 24:
It looks like Tammy's busy conferring with an elf in a lab coat. And by 'conferring' I mean the lab elf is waving a clipboard in the air agitatedly, and Tammy is waving her tambourine equally agitatedly, and they both seem like they're on the borderline of freaking out. Maybe you should just come back tomorrow.
  • Subsequently, beginning on December 24:
"Oh hey," Tammy says listlessly. "One of the R&D guys had a thing for you. Message. Whatever. Probably not important."
"Really?" you ask. "What?"
"Oh, one of their machines started making a bunch of noises or something. Something about that building that looks like a stupid mime head. The quarks or particles or whatever going off the whatever. He said it was probably either nothing or dumb or both. I'm going back to bed."
"Hi, <Player Name>!" Tammy says.
"Hi, Tammy," you reply. "Anything new?"
"Not as such! The other elves and I are still working on stuff on this end. I guess just keep poking around that weird spire for now? If you run out of weirdos to fight, I'm sure more will turn up tomorrow."
  • First visit, after defeating The Silent Nightmare:
"<Player Name>! You did it!" Tammy yells excitedly, running up and grabbing you in a big hug.
"Heya Tammy," you smile. "Looks like you got your Crimbo cheer back."
"Yeah!! Kind of all at once and I'm high as a kite, ha ha ha! Wheeeeee!!" She waves her tambourine in the air wildly and dances around, then grabs your hand. "C'mon! Me and the rest of the elves are throwing a party, we're gonna sing carols and eat cookies and watch It's a Wonderful Life like four times! Come on, come on!" She takes off running with you in tow.
And a very merry Crimbo was had by one and all.
  • Subsequent visits, after defeating The Silent Nightmare:
Tammy is dancing around her tent playing her tambourine to beat the band. She flashes you a grin of gratitude when you walk in, then gets right back to it.

Notes