The Black Market

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You can buy multiple spare kidneys at once before the option is removed from the store.

The Black Market is located in the Distant Woods. To shop there, you must find explore The Black Forest until you find the store.

Suspicious2.gif Hello, and welcome to the Black Market. As always, your discretion is appreciated nearly as much as your patronage is.

With what illicit purposes may we assist you today?

If you're in a Way of the Surprising Fist run:

Wait a minute... (1)

Items Sold

Item: Price:
Beerbottle.gif black cherry soda 80 Meat
Bodyspray.gif Black Body™ spray 300 Meat
Balm.gif black facepaint 300 Meat
Sheepskin.gif black sheepskin diploma 300 Meat
Blackpaint.gif can of black paint 1,000 Meat
Kidney.gif spare kidney
(Bad Moon only, if you have had your kidney stolen)
2,000 Meat
Documents.gif forged identification documents 5,000 Meat
Egg.gif exotic parrot egg 500,000 Meat
Zepticket.gif Red Zeppelin ticket 5,000 Meat
Zepticket.gif Red Zeppelin ticket Baconstone.gif 1

Item effects (all last for 10 adventures)

Item Effect Name Effect
Black Body™ spray Radiating Black Body™ +10% Moxie, +10% chance of Critical Hit, +3 MP to use spells/skills
black facepaint Football Eyes +10% Muscle, Melee Damage +15, Combat Initiative -40%
black sheepskin diploma Erudite +10% Mysticality, Spell Damage +15, Damage Reduction -10
can of black paint Red Door Syndrome So-So resistance to all elements


  • Once purchased, the forged identification documents, kidney, and Red Zeppelin ticket are removed from the store.
  • In a Way of the Surprising Fist run, you can buy stuff from the store only before beating the shop keeper. After beating him (he drops the required items) you only get the message:
The Black Market is empty, because you beat up the guy who ran it.
  • In a Zombie Slayer run, the shopkeeper is gone, but the shop still runs:
As far as you can tell from the condition of the empty shop, the guy who runs the Black Market took off at the first sign of trouble. This is much, much less surprising than the fact that he left a lot of his merchandise behind.
Something tells you, however, that it's unwise to steal from shady criminal enterprises, so you decide to leave payment in the register, just in case.
The door of the Black Market is boarded up. You'd have thought the apocalypse would be appealing to opportunistic crooks, but apparently not.