The Dirt-Walled Hovel of the Pretentious Artist

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Artist swearing.gif
Artist quiet.gif

This is where the Pretentious Artist lives.

Artist.gif
Please allow me to paint your portrait...

You can find his hovel on the Wrong Side of the Tracks in Seaside Town.

If you show up to his hovel wearing an outfit, he'll paint your portait, and you'll unlock a tattoo. But first, you need to help him find his stuff, namely his brush, palette, and paint.

He also buys rat whiskers for 50 meat apiece. If you have any of them, the message "Ooh, is that a rat whisker? I use those to repair my paintbrushes. I'll give you 50 Meat each for them..." will appear, in addition to the one above.

If you have a psychoanalytic jar you can use it on him:


Use psychoanalytic jar on him
You open up the jar and look into the patient's eyes.
Analjar full.gifYou acquire an item: jar of psychoses (The Pretentious Artist)

If you aren't wearing an outfit:

Ah, but your clothing is so bland. Please -- give me something to work with...

Tattoos

For the unlock text when wearing an outfit see the corresponding tattoo page.

ID Outfit Tattoo
1 Bugbear Costume Bugbear Tattoo
2 Filthy Hippy Disguise Hippy Tattoo
3 Frat Boy Ensemble Frat Boy Tattoo
4 Knob Goblin Harem Girl Disguise Harem Girl Tattoo
5 Knob Goblin Elite Guard Uniform Elite Guard Tattoo
6 Hot and Cold Running Ninja Suit Ninja Tattoo
7 eXtreme Cold-Weather Gear Cold-Weather Gear Tattoo
8 Mining Gear Miner Tattoo
9 Swashbuckling Getup Pirate Tattoo
10 Terrifying Clown Suit Clown Tattoo
11 Crimbo Duds Crimbo Pressie Tattoo
12 Star Garb Star Tattoo
13 - -
14 Furry Suit Loser Tattoo
15 8-Bit Finery Sword Tattoo
16 Yendorian Finery Elbereth Tattoo
17 OK Lumberjack Outfit Little Canadia Tattoo
18 Radio Free Regalia Radio Tattoo
19 Bow Tux Bow Tux Tattoo
20 Clockwork Apparatus Clockwork Tattoo
21 Gnauga Hides Gnauga Tattoo
22 Time Trappings Hourglass Tattoo
23 Cloaca-Cola Uniform Cloaca-Cola Tattoo
24 Dyspepsi-Cola Uniform Dyspepsi-Cola Tattoo
25 Arboreal Raiment Wreath Tattoo
26 Grass Guise Oyster Egg Tattoo
27 Encephalic Ensemble Jellyfish Tattoo
28 Glad Bag Glad Rags Recycling Tattoo
29 Antique Arms And Armor Armor Tattoo
30 Terrycloth Tackle 42 Tattoo
31 Tropical Crimbo Duds Tropical Crimbo Tattoo
32 War Hippy Fatigues War Hippy Tattoo
33 Frat Warrior Fatigues Frat Warrior Tattoo
34 Bounty-Hunting Rig Meat Tattoo
35 Black Armaments Black Tattoo
36 Palmist Paraphernalia Palm Tattoo
37 Tapered Threads Duct Tape Tattoo
38 Roy Orbison Disguise Roy Orbison Tattoo
39 Cursed Zombie Pirate Costume Cursed Zombie Pirate Tattoo
40 Crimborg Assault Armor Crimborg Tattoo
41 El Vibrato Relics El Vibrato Tattoo
42 Pyretic Panhandler Paraphernalia Burning Tire Tattoo
43 Hyperborean Hobo Habiliments Snowballs Tattoo
44 Vile Vagrant Vestments Pile of Garbage Tattoo
45 Dire Drifter Duds Gravestone Tattoo
46 Tawdry Tramp Togs Greasy Bacon Tattoo
47 Hodgman's Regal Frippery Hobo Glyph Tattoo
48 Arrrbor Day Apparrrrrel Arbor Day Tattoo
49 Mutant Couture DNA Tattoo
50 Dwarvish War Uniform Dwarvish Tattoo
51 Wumpus-Hair Wardrobe Dodecahedron Tattoo
52 Pork Elf Prizes Pig Iron Tattoo
53 Grimy Reaper's Vestments Reaper Tattoo
54 Slimesuit Slime Tattoo
55 Primitive Radio Duds Notes Tattoo
56 Floaty Fatigues Rock Tattoo
57 Rave Disguise
58 Vestments of the Treeslayer Arrrborween Tattoo
59 Crappy Mer-kin Disguise Crappy Mer-kin Tattoo
60 Mer-kin Gladiatorial Gear Mer-kin Gladiator Tattoo
61 Mer-kin Scholar's Vestments Mer-kin Scholar Tattoo
62 Snowman Suit Snowman Tattoo
63 Frigid Northlands Garb No Seals Tattoo
64 Legendary Regalia of the Seal Crusher Reversed Seal Clubber Tattoo
65 Legendary Regalia of the Chelonian Overlord Reversed Turtle Tamer Tattoo
66 Legendary Regalia of the Pasta Master Reversed Pastamancer Tattoo
67 Legendary Regalia of the Saucemaestro Reversed Sauceror Tattoo
68 Legendary Regalia of the Groovelord Reversed Disco Bandit Tattoo
69 Legendary Regalia of the Master Squeezeboxer Reversed Accordion Thief Tattoo
70 BRICKOfig Outfit Minifigure Tattoo
71 Knight's Armor Black Knight Tattoo
72 Fancy Tux Black Tie Tattoo
73 Transparent Trappings Plexiglass Polyhedron Tattoo
74 Unblemished Uniform Stainless Steel Sheet Tattoo
75 Blasphemous Bedizenment Brimstone Heart Tattoo
76 Smoked Pottery Pottery Tattoo
77 Thousandth Birthday Suit Skeleton Tattoo
78 Uncle Hobo's Rags Crimbo Beard Tattoo
79 Paperclippery Paperclip Tattoo
80 Cold Comforts Double-ice Tattoo
81 Bits o' Honey Honey Tattoo
82 Luniform Lunar Tattoo
83 Dark Bro's Vestments Necbromancer Tattoo
84 Sucker Samurai Suit Lollipop Tattoo
85 Wax Wardrobe Crayon Tattoo
86 Hot Daub Ensemble Clay Tattoo
87 Pinata Provisions Rad Lib Tattoo
88 Oil Rig Oil Tattoo
89 Animelf Apparel Animelf Tattoo
90 Seafaring Suit Sailor Tattoo
91 Raiments of the Final Boss Boss Tattoo
92 Violent Vestments Shub-Jigguwatt Tattoo
93 Hateful Habiliment Yog-Urt Tattoo
94 Clothing of Loathing Loathing Tattoo
95 Dreadful Pajamas Dreadful Pajama Tattoo
96 Dreadful Bugbear Suit Dreadful Bugbear Tattoo
97 Dreadful Werewolf Suit Dreadful Werewolf Tattoo
98 Dreadful Zombie Suit Dreadful Zombie Tattoo
99 Dreadful Ghost Suit Dreadful Ghost Tattoo
100 Dreadful Vampire Suit Dreadful Vampire Tattoo
101 Dreadful Skeleton Suit Dreadful Skeleton Tattoo
102 Cool Irons Cool Iron Tattoo
103 Warbear Dress Armor Bear Claw Tattoo
104 Workoutfit Workout Tattoo
105 Ghast Iron Gear Hot Ghost Tattoo
106 Brogre Brouture Brogre Tattoo
107 Space Beast Furs Space Beast Tattoo
108 Gladiatorial Glad Rags SPQL Tattoo
109 Xiblaxian Stealth Suit Xiblaxian Tattoo
110 High-Radiation Mining Gear High-Radiation Tattoo
111 Crimbot Crimboutfit ZAP! Tattoo
112 Topiaria Topiary Tattoo
113 Synthetic Suit Synthetic Tattoo
114 Ceramic Suit Ceramic Suit Tattoo
115 Spelunker's Gear Spelunker Tattoo
116 Wicker Wear Wicker Tattoo
117 Bakelite Brigandine Bakelite Brigandine Tattoo
118 Aeroutfit Aerogel Tattoo
119 Wrought Wrappings Wrought-iron Tattoo
120 Gabardine Guise Gabardine Tattoo
121 Fiberglass Finery Fiberglass Tattoo
122 Toxic Togs Toxic Tattoo
123 Dinsey's Exoskeleton Dinsey's Brain Tattoo
124 The Emperor's New Clothes The Emperor's New Tattoo
125 SMOOCH Army Uniform Smooch Tattoo
126 Cooper's Couture Barrel Tattoo
127 The Jokester's Costume The Jokester's Tattoo
128 Eldritch Equipage Eldritch Tattoo
129 Gingerbread Best Gingerbread Tattoo
130 Spant Armor Spant Tattoo
131 Meteor Masquerade Meteoroid Tattoo
132 Cheerful Reindeer Suit Cheerful Reindeer Tattoo
133 Miming Regalia Mime Tattoo
134 Pyrotechnic Paper Paraphernalia Burning News Tattoo
135 Genie Garments Genie Lamp Tattoo
136 Psychic Enpsemble Psychic Tattoo
137 FantasyRealm Warrior's Outfit Warrior's Tattoo
138 FantasyRealm Wizard's Outfit Wizard's Tattoo
139 FantasyRealm Thief's Outfit Thief's Tattoo
140 Snakeskin Suit Snakeskin Tattoo
141 Slime Enslamble Slime Blob Tattoo
142 Mutant Parts Apparel Mutant Tattoo
143 Government-Issued Garb Government-Issued Tattoo
144 Bauxite Baubles Bauxite Tattoo
145 Chalk Chostume Chalk Tattoo
146 Marble Materials Marble Tattoo
147 Paraffinalia Paraffinalia Tattoo
148 Terra Cotta Tackle Terra Cotta Tackle Tattoo
149 Velour Vestments Velour Vestments Tattoo
150 Stained Glass Suit Stained Glass Suit Tattoo
151 Loofah Loungewear Loofah Loungewear Tattoo
152 Flagstone Finery Flagstone Finery Tattoo
153 PirateRealm Assortment PirateRealm Tattoo
154 Shallow Sea Fishing Outfit Shallow Sea Fishing Tattoo
155 Cursed Skeleton Pirate Costume Cursed Skeleton Pirate Tattoo
156 Whittled Wearables Whittle Tattoo
157 Antique Nutcracker Outfit Antique Nutcracker Tattoo
158 Mushroom Masquerade Mushroom Tattoo
159 Guzzlr Uniform Guzzlr Tattoo
160 Lathed Livery Lathe Tattoo
161 Trainbot Trappings Trainbot Tattoo
162 Ceramic Clothing Ceramic Clothing Tattoo
163 Chiffon Chiffinery Chiffon Tattoo
164 Shadow Shuit Shadow Shuit Tattoo
165 Dental Drip Dental Drip Tattoo
166 Elf Guard Fatigues Elf Guard Tattoo
167 Crimbuccaneer Rigging Crimbuccaneer Tattoo
168 Moss Mufti Moss Mufti Tattoo
169 Adobe Armor Adobe Armor Tattoo
170 Crepe Paper Participant's Clothes Crepe Paper Tattoo
171 Petrified Wood Professional Wardrobe Petrified Wood Tattoo
172 Governor's Daughter's Fancy Finery Governor's Daughter's Tattoo
173 Wet Wear Wet Wear Tattoo

Notes

  • The Artist's hovel had the following look before October 6, 2010.
    Artisthovel.gif
  • The Artist is completely missing during a Zombie Slayer run -- no icon is shown in the Wrong Side of the Tracks and trying to use URL manipulation to visit him just sends you back to the tracks with no message.

History

  • Prior to an unknown point, during a Zombie Slayer run, the Artist was not at home:
The Pretentious Artist's dirt-walled hovel is empty, except for all the red paint splashed around the place.

References

  • The Pretentious Artist is one of two KoL NPCs that are based on real people, the other being Doc Galaktik. The Artist is one of the T-shirts models in the Store of Loathing (archived); he is wearing the "Minimalist Sword and Martini Guy Shirt".