The Infiltrationist

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The Infiltrationist
The Infiltrationist

You hike over to the Orcish Frat House and hide in the bushes. You look over the blueprints, and see several approaches to getting in and getting Cap'm Caronch's dentures back.

You can dress up like a frat boy and try to waltz right in the front door, you could pretend to be delivering something and get them to let you in the side door, or you could go all Pink Panther on it and sneak through the backyard


Attempt a frontal assault

You march up to the front door of the frat house and knock loudly. A muscle-bound frat orc opens it, looks at you, sees that you're not a frat boy, and does what frat boys do best -- beating up people who aren't frat boys.

HPYou lose 80-118 hit points.

You march up to the front door of the frat house and knock loudly. A muscle-bound frat orc opens it, and before he can speak, you say "Thanks for hookin' a bra up, bra. I totally lost my key, bra." and shuffle past him.

Once you're inside the frat house, it's a simple matter of making your way down to the basement and retrieving Caronch's dentures from the frat boys' ridiculous trophy case.

Chatteeth.gifYou acquire an item: Cap'm Caronch's dentures

Go in through the side door

You knock on the side door of the frat house, and a shifty-looking frat orc with dark glasses cracks it open.

"Hey, you're not Dave. Dave's hair is business in the front, party in the back, bra. Blocko, we've got an unwanted visitor, here. Can you show him the way out?"

Blocko, who turns out to be a gigantic, angry, muscle-bound frat orc shows you the way out. He shows some of your teeth the way out, too.

HPYou lose 80-118 hit points.

You knock on the side door of the frat house, and a shifty-looking frat orc with dark glasses cracks it open.

"Oh, hey, Dave. You got the stuff?"

He looks down at your hands, then back at your face.

"Umm. Dave. The stuff? The briefcase full of stuff? Do you have it or not?"

"Umm," you stammer, "no, I kinda... I forgot it. I'll be right back."

The orc sighs and shuts the door as you wander away.

You knock on the side door of the frat house, and a shifty-looking frat orc with dark glasses cracks it open.

"Oh, hey, Dave. You got the stuff?"

"Yeah, man," you reply. Let me in."[sic]

The frat boy opens the door wide enough to let you in, looks around to make sure nobody saw you, then closes and locks the door.

"Aww, crap, bra. I forgot my wallet. I'll be right back."

Now that you're alone in the house, retrieving the dentures is a simple matter of making your way down to the basement and grabbing them from the frat boys' ridiculous trophy case. You do so, and quickly beat feet back to the Cove.

Chatteeth.gifYou acquire an item: Cap'm Caronch's dentures

Catburgle

You manage to make it about halfway to the frat house before you're accosted by a wandering drunk frat orc. "Hey, who are you!?" he slurs, "And what are you doing in our yard, bra?"

"I'm... uhh... a new pledge," you reply, "and I'm out here cleaning up the, umm, all-male oil-wrestling pit, because, uhh, Brett told me to."

"I don't think so, bra," he counters. "When Brett makes some lowly scumbag pledge clean something, he makes that pledge wear a maid's outfit. Do you see a frilly skirt on you, bra? I sure don't."

Then the orc apparently knocks you unconscious and throws your limp form over the back wall. At least... you hope that's all that he did, in retrospect.

HPYou lose 80-118 hit points.

You manage to make it about halfway to the frat house before you're accosted by a wandering drunk frat orc. "Hey, who are you!?" he slurs, "And what are you doing in our yard, bra?"

"I'm... uhh... a new pledge," you reply, "and I'm out here cleaning up the, umm, all-male oil-wrestling pit, because, uhh, Brett told me to."

He glances at your skirt. "Yeah, okay, bra. I mean, hey, get back to work, pledge!"

As he stumbles off into the bushes, you continue trying to make your way toward the house.

You make it about three-quarters of the way across the yard (what is this, Zeno's paradox?) before you bump into another frat orc. He grabs you by the shoulders, shakes you, and says "Pledge! I'm hungry! Give me something to eat!"

You rifle through your pockets looking for something a frat boy might eat, but come up with nothing.

"You've gotta be kidding, bra. You don't even have, like, some hot wings or something? You make me sick, pledge. Sick with hunger and with rage."

He tosses you (unceremoniously) over the back wall and stomps off to find somebody else to terrorize.

HPYou lose 80-118 hit points.

You manage to make it about halfway to the frat house before you're accosted by a wandering drunk frat orc. "Hey, who are you!?" he slurs, "And what are you doing in our yard, bra?" "I'm... uhh... a new pledge," you reply, "and I'm out here cleaning up the, umm, all-male oil-wrestling pit, because, uhh, Brett told me to."

He glances at your skirt. "Yeah, okay, bra. I mean, hey, get back to work, pledge!"

As he stumbles off into the bushes, you continue trying to make your way toward the house.

You make it about three-quarters of the way across the yard (what is this, Zeno's paradox?) before you bump into another frat orc. He grabs you by the shoulders, shakes you, and says "Pledge! I'm hungry! Give me something to eat!"

You rifle through your pockets looking for something a frat boy might eat. You find some hot wings, hold them out, and say "Here y'go, sir. Right away, sir, hot and steamy and probably from a male chicken, just the way you like them, sir."

The orc brusquely grabs the wings out of your hands and stomps off, eating them noisily, bones and all.

You make it about seven eighths of the way to the frat house when nothing important happens, and you continue on to the back door.

Once you're inside the frat house, it's a simple matter of making your way down to the basement and retrieving Caronch's dentures from the frat boys' ridiculous trophy case.

Chatteeth.gifYou acquire an item: Cap'm Caronch's dentures

You've already retrieved Cap'm Caronch's dentures.


Occurs after using Orcish Frat House blueprints.

Notes

  • Frat Warrior Fatigues do not make you appear like a frat boy for this adventure.
  • Works even if you have bombed the Frat House back to the Stone Age.
  • If you go through the side door, you do not lose the briefcase.

References

  • The Catburgle choice mentions one of Zeno's Paradoxes, which is a famous paradox from logic that "proves" motion is impossible. In order to get to a goal, the paradox states that first you have to get halfway there, and before you can do that you have to get 1/4 of the way there, and before that 1/8 of the way there and so on. Since there are an infinite number of these in-between goals, the paradox states that you will never actually reach your final goal.
  • The Side Door option is a reference to the Cheech & Chong skit "Dave", from their debut album.