The Orc Chasm

The Orc Chasm contains an empty space which you must cross to reach The Highlands above it, and The Smut Orc Logging Camp within it. Clicking on the empty space will let you attempt to bridge the chasm.

• When approaching when there is no bridge:

You examine your supplies. You have:

no "appropriate" lumber

no "appropriate" fasteners

Looks like you're going to have to check out that lumber camp down there and see if you can find some building materials.

• When approaching after collecting some fasteners and lumber from the Logging Camp:

You examine your supplies. You have:

X "appropriate" pieces of lumber

Y "appropriate" fasteners

First time only:

You use some of the horrible building materials from the smut orcs' camp to start building a bridge.

Subsequent times:

You use some more of those horrible building materials to continue constructing a bridge.

• Upon completion of the bridge:

Huzzah! The bridge is finished!

And having finished the bridge, you throw away the rest of the smut orcs' terrible building materials. Good riddance.

• After completion of the bridge:

Unless you want to blow up the bridge you just built, Alec Guinness style, there's nothing more to do here.

• After defeating a hulking bridge troll as Actually Ed the Undying:

The defeated troll howls in rage and smashes his fists into the bridge's wooden support beams. You run back to the safety of the cliff edge as the brute's tantrum continues, the bridge shaking and crumbling around him. Soon, there is not enough of the structure left to support the troll's own weight, and the whole thing collapses. The troll, hanging from a splintering beam, gives you his gross self-satisfied grin again.

"What was even the point of that?" you ask. "Honestly, it's just petty."

"Actually," the troll says as the beam snaps, "it's about ethics in gaming journalism."

He falls into the deep chasm, never to be seen again. Which is great, but you're still left without a bridge.

Notes

• You have to collect a total of 30 "appropriate" pieces of lumber and 30 "appropriate" fasteners to complete the bridge, allowing access to The Highlands.
• The "appropriate" lumber and fasteners come from The Smut Orc Logging Camp, or from the following items. See the item pages for messages.
  • Each fish hatchet can be used to provide 5 lumber and 5 fasteners.
  • A miniature suspension bridge extends the bridge by 10 segments.
  • A fancy oil painting extends the bridge by 10 segments.
  • Snow boards extend the bridge by 5 segments.
  • A Bridge truss extends the bridge by 15 segments.
  • The Mayam Calendar can be considered for 4 bridge parts.
  • A structural ember can be used to provide 5 lumber and 5 fasteners.
• A Model train set can be configured to drop extra bridge lumber and fasteners at the start of combat.
• A logging hatchet from Camp Logging Camp helps get extra lumber after combat.
• A loadstone from the Inside of Itznotyerzitz Mine helps get extra fasteners after combat.
• Smelling like a lovebug helps get extra lumber and fasteners after combat.
• Adventuring while Lucky! provides 3 weirdwood planks and 3 long hard screws.
• Wearing bat wings can allow you cross the chasm while the bridge is only 5/6ths complete.
• A bridge provided 12-15 lumber and 12-15 fasteners, but is no longer obtainable.

History

• On November 14, 2012, this area was revamped; it used to be a clickable location that would be replaced by The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm (now called The Valley of Rof L'm Fao) if you had a bridge in your inventory. Below is the former text of this page:

The Orc Chasm appears in The Big Mountains when you reach level 9 and The Council of Loathing sends you to assist Baron Rof L'm Fao. To cross the Chasm, you need a bridge. If you don't have one, you will see the following message:

You approach the Orc Chasm, and see no way to cross it. You make as if to go around it, and are suddenly intercepted by a group of Smut Orcs.

Try as you might, you are unable to get past them. It looks like you're going to have to find a way to get over the chasm, not around it.

When the Chasm has been bridged, you can adventure in The Valley Beyond The Orc Chasm, after seeing the following message:

You approach the Orc Chasm, and whip out your trusty bridge. You place the bridge across the chasm, and the path to the Valley is clear.

References

• When spoken aloud, Orc Chasm sounds like orgasm.
• The Smut Orcs are probably foreshadowings of the XXX pr0n on the far side of the Chasm – their name is the word "scrotums" spelled backwards.
• Alec Guinness is an English actor who starred in the movie The Bridge on the River Kwai, where he played Lt. Colonel Nicholson. In the movie, Nicholson and his fellow P.O.W.s build a bridge for the Japanese, then blow it up in the end.
• The image of the Chasm is a tad yonic.
• "It's about ethics in gaming journalism" is a reference to the Gamergate controversy.