Timmy Tofurkey cast member
| Timmy Tofurkey cast member | |
|---|---|
| Monster ID | 960 |
| Locations | The Electric Lemonade Acid Parade |
| Hit Points | 110 |
| Attack | 60 |
| Defense | 63 |
| No-Hit | 70 |
| Initiative | 20 |
| Meat | None |
| Phylum | dude |
| Elements | None |
| Resistance | None |
| Monster Parts | head, arm, leg, torso, wing |
| Manuel Entry | |
| refreshedit data | |
You're fighting a Timmy Tofurkey cast memberThis is an underpaid teenager dressed in an elaborate costume designed to make him look like a fake turkey. There's more latex and sweat on display here than at a fetishist's gym.
This poor kid has spent all day getting headbutted in the groin by toddlers, snotted on by eight-year-olds, and laughed at or groin-kicked by his peers. It's possible he's looking to work off a little rage.
Hit Message(s):
He flops on top of you and drowns you in sour sweat. Ugh. Eek! Eek! Ooh! (sleaze damage)
He hits you with one of his drumsticks. Ugh! Ugh! Argh!
He pecks you with his latex beak. Some people would pay good money for that, y'know. Argh! Ouch! Ooh!
He takes you under his wing. And by "takes you under," I mean, "hits you with." Oof! Ooh! Argh!
He steps on your toe with one foot, smacks you with a wing, and pecks you with his beak. I doubt even a real tofurkey is as fierce as he is. Oof! Argh! Eek!
He tries to hit you with his wing, but only manages to wing you.
He tries to hit you with a drumstick, but you make like a drum and beat it.
He gets the eyeholes in his costume screwed up, and can't see to hit you this round.
He tries to peck you, but he's a lousy peck -- er, biter. A lousy biter.
He suddenly flops to the ground and pulls the head off of his costume, gasping for air. Man, and you think your job sucks? (FUMBLE!)
 | You acquire an item: sun-dried tofu (100% chance)* |
Occurs at The Electric Lemonade Acid Parade (with no turns of In Your Cups)
