|Monster Parts||head, arm, leg, torso|
A pirate walks up to you, swaying visibly and hiccuping. "Never look directly into the sun," he says, hiccuping. "And make sure that ye always wear clean underpants, in case ye get in an accident. And when ye cut an onion, make sure ye do it under running water so ye don't cry, savvy?"
"Thanks for the tips," you say, but he thinks you're being sarcastic, and assumes a fighting stance.
He tiptoes behind you and breaks a bottle over your head. Ouch! Argh! Ooh!
He tips you over and pours you out. Argh! Ugh! Ugh!
He tips over a table, and it lands on your toes. Ugh! Ow! Oof!
He punches you in the solar plexus, while pointing out that's an easy spot to inflict a lot of pain with just a little pressure. Eek! Ow! Oof!
"Here's a handy tip," he says. "If ye break the end off an ordinary beer bottle, it becomes a vicious slashing tool! *hic.* Unfortunately for you, he demonstrates the technique on your <calf>. Ooh! Ow! Ow! Argh! Oof!
He tries to tiptoe behind you, but his tipsy hiccuping makes him less than stealthy.
He tries to tip you over and pour you out, but you're nobody's little teapot.
He tips toward you, but trips and lands on his face.
He tries to punch you, but he telegraphed the punch and tipped you off.
He hiccups, tips over, and lands on the ground, snoring lightly. You prod him with your toe, but he's out cold. You check your watch and wait for him to wake up. (FUMBLE!)
|You gain 36-54 Meat (average: 45, stdev: 4.06)*|
|You acquire an item: bottle of rum (21.5% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: bottle of rum (17.1% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: tip jar (4.7% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: cocktail napkin (9.1% chance)*|
|You acquire an item: rum barrel charrrm (4.8% chance)*|
Occurs at Barrrney's Barrr.
- The second miss refers to The song, "I'm a little teapot."