Toy ray gun

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toy ray gun
toy ray gun

This is a shiny plastic toy ray gun. It'd be a great toy for children of any age, except that when you pull the trigger it leaves a big smoking hole in whatever you pointed it at. It does have a lot of personality, though -- you should give it a name. Just not "Ronald." That joke can't even see funny from where it's sitting.

Type: ranged weapon (1-handed pistol)
Damage: 18 - 35
Moxie Required: 72
Selling Price: 50 Meat.

+5 Hot Damage
+5% chance of Critical Hit

(In-game plural: toy Reagans)
View metadata
Item number: 2168
Description ID: 140108734
View in-game: view
View market statistics


Crimborg2-30px.gif capacitor relay carbon nanotube frame logic synthesizer Feynman gate  
Crimborg2-30px.gif servomechanical torsion facilitator hyperbolic plasma focuser high-resistance ultrapolymer plating
Equals.gif toy ray gun


You fire a "laser" at your "opponent," hitting <it> for X damage. SOCKO! WHAMMO! ZOT!
You give <it> some overly aggressive laser eye surgery. Not only did you do X damage, there's no way <its> insurance is going to cover it. BIFF! BAM! BARF!
You indulge in a little laserblasting with your toy ray gun, waltzing around with it for a while before shooting your opponent for X damage. BOINK! SPLAT! BOOF!
You play a little laser tag with <it>, leaving a smoking hole in <its> chest to indicate you're no longer "it." Your opponent takes X damage. WHACK! KAPOW! BOOF!


  • If you did name it Ronald, it would be Ronald Ray Gun. Get it? Reagan? (This same ray gun/Reagan pun was made in the Gathering of Angels? combat adventure, though the joke is far older than that.)
  • The plural is the same joke, only different.
  • This also could be an allusion to Reagan's infamous Strategic Defense Initiative, a major component of which were Directed-Energy Weapons (AKA Ray Guns).
  • "Laser" being in quotes could be a reference to Dr. Evil in the "Austin Powers" movies, who always used air quotes when referring to lasers as a way of talking down to people. In the 1960s, lasers were a relatively new concept, so he assumed that only a genius like him would have heard of them.
  • The third hit message refers to the film Laserblast, an MST3K alum. In it, the hero finds an alien laser cannon in the desert, attaching it to his arm and dancing around like a ninny for several minutes before figuring out how to fire it.
  • The fourth hit message refers to the Lazer Tag game.
  • The line "It does have a lot of personality, though -- you should give it a name." appears to be a reference to the comic "Buck Godot: Zap Gun For Hire," in which one nemesis of the main character has two talking laser guns with their own personalities.

See Also


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